Sunday, September 19, 2021
Sunday, September 12, 2021
Saturday, September 4, 2021
Saturday, August 28, 2021
If Season One took a large amount of cues from Halloween, this one is definitely a I Know What You Did Last Summer kind of beast. It begins and camp when a judgement against Talvinder, a decidedly creepy girl who does her best to get in with the cool kids and then it all comes back to bite her in the ass hard enough that her corpse gets shoved in a hole.
Five years later this group of five is forced to face what they did when the campground where they buried what they did is going to be the spot for a new resort and Talvinder is resting where the tennis courts will go in.
In the dead of winter they return to the camp that has become a community of peaceniks who aren't real crazy about the new visitors.
Then the body count begins.
Summer camp always means Friday the 13th to me and there are nods to that, but this is one of those series where everyone is severely damaged. No secrets are sacred and the more people hide the worse it's going to get. There are some cool kills by snowmobile, auger drill, chainsaw and much, much more. It gets pretty gruesome early on and doesn't slow down.
The character Glenn is played by Ty Ollson who I remember as the vampire from Supernatural. There's a cute in joke there as well.
So, this could have also used some trimming, but I get that they are just filling time to get their 8 episodes. I understand how TV works. I also give them a pat on the back because while I knew who the killer was by the second episode I couldn't have been more wrong, yet right at the same time. It was a pretty good twist.
Time for Season 3.
I'll be back with that report.
Wednesday, August 18, 2021
So, a little backstory to get this moving. One of the lovely Martha's favorite shows is Merlin. Basically the time that Merlin and Arthur spent together as young men. In that we get probably my favorite character, Morgana played by Katie McGrath. So, a little internet research and I found SLASHER. Well, I love a good slasher flick and this was a series with three seasons.
Each season is a different story arc, but I will have to see if they do have some interconnectedness lurking about.
But for now, Season 1.
Sarah Bennett and her husband Dylan go back to her hometown of Waterbury. Just like any small town, dark and full of nasty secrets and Waterbury is no different. It seems that Sarah's parents were murdered by The Executioner, Tom Wilson. And Sarah was cut from her mother's womb. On Halloween just to make it cool.
Now she has returned to the same house because her grandmother never thought to sell it. Okay, I'll buy that.
And The Executioner has returned and is killing people using the ever popular theme of The Seven Deadly Sins. Always a crowd pleaser. Favorite kill would ne the naked woman hooked up to a paralytic IV covered in honey in the middle of a huge wheat field. Just for you city folk, those fields are just chock full of rats.
I did like the amount of practical effects used throughout the eight episodes. Sure, you can see some CGI once in a while, but mostly practical stuff and there is gore aplenty for you gore hounds out there.
All, in all this is incredibly clever. It has more red herrings than three Italian Giallo films, but I still figured out the killer around episode four.
Here is the one thing that bothered me;
See, one of the victims has their head chopped off and put in a deep fryer in the local Burger Shack. During lunch rush one of the townspeople is eating his nuggets and comes across a breaded, deep fried ear.
So, when the cops come they pull out the head and it just looks like a severed head.
Here's the problem with that. I can assume that The Executioner cut off and breaded the ear. I'm fine with that. The Executioner is very fond of people finding their handiwork. But the head just looked like a head covered in greasy goo.
First, whoever wrote this doesn't understand how a deep fryer works. If we assume that The Executioner jammed it down between the heating elements so it wouldn't float, that's okay. But, when that baby got fired up for the day the stench would have been unbearable. That and the skin and hair just looked greasy. Hot oil would have made short work of all that skin and hair.
Honestly, that is really my only complaint. It was cool watching them just heap on some many weird things going on in a small town. If Twin Peaks proved anything, it's that small towns are where the real weirdness is going on.
I'll be back after I finish Season Two.
Saturday, August 7, 2021
So, here we are again at the altar of the one and only David Rock Nelson.
I was geared up and ready to watch it in half hour increments.
And then it was over in three days.
Why? Well, there is a lot less of Detective Rock eating and much less of showing off his monster stuff. There was a lot of Dinosaur Woman attacks and you know that Jan wasn't in the suit all that much, but that's cool.
We did get a little driving tour of Des Plaines with narration by David so, that was interesting. I thought it was odd that the Dinosaur Woman laid so many eggs, but we never got one of them to hatch. Svengoolie is at a signing so he's in the movie and he is just the sweetest man. We also get Forry Ackerman being attacked by Dinosaur Woman and he put his all into it. There are a lot of people attacked at Monster Bash, which is normal for David's movies.
The basic plot has The Mad Doctor (David) playing with Dinosaur DNA and adding a little cherry soda and whiskey (David pronounces it Viskey, for comedic effect)to the mix for Jan to drink down and become...The Dinosaur Woman. Jan did a great job during the transformation sequence and she does add a little something to David's films.
This one had footage from a lot of different time spans. The lab stuff is all 1996 with a much younger David as the mad doctor, of course. His brother shows up in a couple of scenes, one where he can't stop laughing which made it even better.
So, of the three David Rock Nelson movies I now have under my belt, this one is the most cohesive of the three. We still get the organic process of David working through scenes, sometimes with multiple takes and lots of hot java.
I'm pretty sure I will need to start collecting these movies. I was a little sad when Dinosaur Woman was over, but never fear! According to the mandatory trailers for a few of his films, Dinosaur Woman will return and I can not wait.
Wednesday, August 4, 2021
Monday, August 2, 2021
So, there I was rewatching my copy of David 'Rock' Nelson's Devil Ant when I decided to get some newer stuff from the infamous director. I ordered The Fishman and Dinosaur Woman.
See, I know what to expect from David 'Rock' Nelson.
To be blunt; insanity on a peculiar level.
So, this mad scientist decides to use fish DNA to make himself into a Fishman.
That takes an hour before that happens and by then we have been introduced to Dave's underground lair (basement) full of so much horror memorabilia it boggles the mind. He also watches old monster movies on VHS. This is a true connoisseur.
The Fishman attacks are bloodless for the most part and none of them seem to be fatal.
But, that's not important.
See, you watch a David 'Rock' Nelson movie for the manic energy that he brings to, well, everything.
I look at it as organic film making. He takes what he has and makes 2 hour features out of them. It can be a little repetitive, but I think that's part of the process. We watch the movie work itself out and it is fascinating to watch.
Only David 'Rock' Nelson would get bit by a big dog in real life and use it in the movie. The bite looked pretty bad too, but he recovered from it.
It becomes less about the plot of the movie and more of how David 'Rock' lives his life.
We see one of his victims is his mother and she admonishes him for bothering her while she's reading the paper. She calls him David even though he is in his Fishman costume. It is hilarious to watch.
I did find it sweet that he has his father help him defeat the Fishman at the end. The man is in his 90s, but he gets suited up to look like a plainclothes cop and grabs his cap pistol and helps his son out in his movie. Just the sweetest thing.
So, if you're willing to put the time in and watch what might be one of the more original forms of film making you might find little things that entertain and amaze you at the same time.
Now, remember that I ordered two films from David 'Rock' Nelson?
Look at what was stuffed into this envelope;
Thursday, July 29, 2021
Friday, July 23, 2021
Tuesday, July 20, 2021
Many moons ago when all of my children were small and we lived in a shitty trailer in a sketchy trailer park, we had a magical VCR. The reason I say that is it would play the tape, rewind the tape and then start playing it again.
At The Waltz household we had a few tapes that we just let run for days, weeks at a time. Because of that there are movies that my whole family can quote word for word.
One of those is Ready To Rumble. I consider it one of the better wrestling movies in existence. David Arquette and Scott Caan are perfect together and it's my favorite Oliver Platt role.
This leads us to a new documentary concerning David Arquette. In 2000 in conjunction with the film he won the WCW title belt and wrestling fans loathe him to this day for it.
Before we dig into the movie I want to voice my opinion that the only person who should fell responsible for this is Eric Bischoff. It was his idea and he presented it to a 26 year old wrestling fan who has a manic personality to begin with.
David Arquette loves wrestling. He shouldn't feel bad at all about some shitty promoter trying to make a buck. And since Arquette gave every penny he made from WCW to the families of Owen Hart, Brian Pillman, who both passed away, Hart from an in ring accident and Pillman from an undiagnosed heart condition. He also gave a portion to Darren Drozdov who after a ring accident became a quadriplegic. Arquette is blameless in the guilt he feels for doing something he never wanted to do.
Now, twenty years later he is ready to try and make a comeback as an actual wrestler. It is interesting watch. He thinks he can slide in again with nothing more than his name and the 12 days he held the title belt and he is in for a rude awakening.
He gets beat down in a backyard match, but he is determined to continue. He is also smart enough to realize he needs training. From the streets Mexico learning the ways of the Lucha to a professional wrestling training camp in Virginia. He sheds 50 pounds in the process and becomes a passable wrestler.
Then his deathmatch with Nick Gage ends in a nicked artery and there is a moment of sheer panic in David's eyes when he thinks he's going to lose the match. Gage sees it and lets him out of a hold. Arquette leaves the ring, panics and then goes back so Gage can pin him to end the match and go to the hospital.
This is a warts and all documentary. It shows Arquette at his most vulnerable and doesn't apologize for anything. It's nice to see his sisters, his wife and children. Even Courtney Cox makes an appearance. Ric Flair's cameo at the beginning is very funny.
The slow acceptance by wrestlers as the movie progresses is very nice to see. I think they saw someone who was trying to make amends for something he felt was wrong.
It gives us a facet to the world of professional wrestling that you rarely see anywhere.
Ready To Rumble is my favorite David Arquette movie.
You Cannot Kill David Arquette is second.
Thursday, July 15, 2021
We're going to start with how much I love shark movies. If it has a shark in it, I'm going to watch it. Good or bad. I put shark movies into two categories; realistic ones like Jaws where it really is just a shark, and the silly ones. Donald Farmer's Shark Exorcist comes to mind right off the top of my head.
Finally, someone has embraced the insanity of the shark film and, of course it would have to be Tim Ritter.
I can still remember when Truth or Dare; A Critical Madness came to the video store. I even liked the first sequel and was able to tolerate the third one. Killing Spree is an excellent example of a fever dream made cellouid and Creep, well I do love Creep.
Now we have Sharks of the Corn. It makes an automatic trigger for the classic Children of the Corn and that's a good thing.
The basic idea is that Teddy Bo Lucas (Steven Guynn) is a mass murderer. But, his reasons are that he is helping to bring an ancient shark goddess back into existence when the Blood Moon is in conjunction with Stonehenge.
I know right?!?
So, when Sheriff Scheider (Shannon Stockin) happens upon Teddy with a car full of body parts, she drags him in for the murder of her sister.
Meanwhile, CIA Agent Benchley (Casey Miracle) is working undercover to find out what is going on with a shark cult.
Oh, and the cornfields are full of sharks that just swim through the corn without a care in the world and shred anyone who comes into the field.
I traditionally avoid horror movies' with a run time of over 90 minutes, but I always give Tim Ritter a chance and I'm so happy I did. This thing just keeps moving along at an insane rate. Ritter knows enough about exploitation to give us gore, blood and boobs. Those are always a welcome thing in a movie.
What really makes it work is the fact that a ludicrous concept is presented to us and never made fun of. Just dead serious acting with then subject matter makes it work.
And then there's the other reason this is such a great movie.
Steven Guynn as Teddy, the shark killer. He is amazing to watch onscreen. You can feel the manic intensity come off the screen. He is a joy to watch.
So, if you think you've seen it all and not watched this movie, you haven't.
Right now you can watch it on PLEX for free. I recommend you watch it sooner than later.
Thank me later.
Tuesday, May 4, 2021
Thursday, March 4, 2021
The film starts with a shocking murder. Mom (Cassandra Engber) is reading something on the computer nd it causes her to go into hysterics. She runs to the bathroom where it appears that she is chased by someone and then her throat is slit. Her husband (Geoff Burkman) comes home where his son's Vince (Vincent Holiday) and Shawn (Adam Scott Clevenger) have found the body.
Then we leap ahead five years to Vince and Shawn still at home with Dad. Shawn runs a local nerd mecca that caters to Star Trek fans. Vince is worried about coming out to Dad and Dad seems to be losing things. The third son, Mike (Mike Canestaro) is a priest at a church in a rougher part of town.
One of Shawn's bright spots of his day is bumping into Savannah (Erin R. Ryan) a local prostitute with a vicious pimp called White Ben (Noah Shane). One day after Sahwn saves her from being attacked by White Ben they become closer.
Then, in an act of violence everything changes. The tone of the film becomes one of darkness and revenge. Shawn starts peeling away the layers of the situation and old family secrets are dragged out into the light. Shawn finally makes a decision for the first time in a long time and realizes the only solution in his eyes is to make them all pay, regardless of his feelings.
I bought People To Kill because I do watch everything that Erin R. Ryan is in. In the role of Savannah she is fascinating to watch. She manages to flow from sweet to manipulative and aggressive without missing a beat. You can watch the transformation in her face as it happens and it is breathtaking.
I loved the scene in the strip club with Marylee Osborne and Geoff Burkman. Just a hilarious scene between two actors with a wonderful rapport between them.
Director Clevenger, makes a movie where it starts violent, falls into a daily routine with a dysfunctional family and then transforms into a revenge film where you really never saw one coming.
Not a bad trick for a first film.
Usually, if you give me a movie to watch that is over ninety minutes, I can get bored easily. Sure, there are exceptions to any rule and I am happy to say that People To Kill is one of them. It did not feel like a two hour plus production and it is a great movie that deserves more exposure to the world.
You can pick up your copy at