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Saturday, November 22, 2008

HELL RIDE (2008)

I don't know if it's the curiosity level brought on by Tarantino and Rodriquez' GRINDHOUSE or what but there are a lot of movies that are so influenced by movies from the seventies that it makes me grin.
That was my sole purpose for hunting down a copy of Larry Bishop's HELL RIDE. You can tell that director/writer/star Bishop has done a lot of motorcycle movies. It's hard to believe that he's the son of funny man Joey Bishop, but his role as Pistolero is nothing short of amazing.
The premise is simple. There are two motorcycle gangs. One bad and one we like. The one we like has Bishop as Pistolero, Michael Madsen as The Gent and Eric Balfour as Commanche. I'm not familiar with the last guy. According to IMDB he's been on a lot of television that I haven't seen. In this he does a great job. They all do.
The plot is simple, but the storyline has so many twists and turns and back flashes and forward flashes that I can see why a lot of people do not like this flick. I think this is a culmination of Larry Bishop's work in film and he got to do it the way he wanted to.
Plus, I noticed that the little devil managed to put himself into as many scenes with hot naked girls as possible. For a guy who is sixty he looks fifty tops.
The action is good, the acting is better and Dennis Hopper is hilarious in his small role. The only real waste seemed to be Vinnie Jones who growled his way through his part. Didn't work for me.
In this movie there wasn't a lot that didn't work for me. I don't like the whole, we need to get this case/safety deposit box thingie. Very important that we do this. But then we don't get to see what's in it. And I don't want to hear about some 'What's in it isn't important, it's what it represents'. BULLSHIT! And they say that they are inspired by the flick KISS ME DEADLY (1955). Guess what? Saw the flick and we knew what was in that box! Just show me otherwise I think you aren't smart enough to put something clever in there to begin with.
The other thing was the hideous dye job on Larry Bishop's goatee and mustache. I know he was trying to look younger and I'll give the man that, but get a better hair person to make it look believable.
Overall this is a film that reminded me of my younger years and it threw it in your face and political correctness be damned straight to Hell.
Yeah, I like this kind of flick. Here's hoping you do too.
Here's a special treat for those of you that embrace the exploitation flick.
It's called BLACK DYNAMITE and it's new. Enjoy!

Thursday, November 20, 2008


For those of you not in the know, LBP stands for Low Budget Pictures. Chris Seaver is the head of LBP and responsible for the insane filmic buffoonery that I have enjoyed for years. It all started with my addiction to Mulva Zombie Ass Kicker and has spiraled out of control ever sense. With a keen wit and a penchant for offensiveness, I would have to mark Low Budget Pictures as my favorite micro budget studio.
Now, Chris Seaver wants to up the ante and I'm here to proclaim it to the world. He's got a plan for a movie with a bigger budget. Approximately 75 grand. Hell, that wouldn't cover the catering on any of the recent Hollywood releases. And you know that he will make it fantastic.
In addition to that he and the LBPers are looking to go to Sundance this year and pimp the film to potential investors there.
So, it's time to put up or shut up. If you need to contact Chris about this you can do so either here;
or here
That's right. He's so crazy serious about this that he's giving out his phone number. Don't have the cash? Have an event where the proceeds go to LBP for making the flick and sending their narrow asses to Sundance.
He has a paypal account over at
IF you want his address contact him and he will accept buckets of money as well. It doesn't matter and with the genius of one of the funniest film makers out there today, we can make this happen at a fan based level and Mr. Seaver can go on to bigger, better things. Hell, we might even get that long awaited John Stamos cameo. The idea of that makes me a little dizzy.
I'll be posting this regularly. Want me to stop? Send Chris Seaver enough cash and I will.
Now, I gotta go brainstorm an idea to raise some cash.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


After writing yesterdays post I realized how much influence this one man had over my formative years. I remmeber the lists of movies that were going to be released. Forry had the inside track on hundreds of coming attractions, some that never got made, but sounded fascinating. And he would have those name that picture contest. This was before the internet or VHS or DVD's. We didn't have these comprehensive libraries of film in our homes or the net. We had to hope that it was on the late show or that we had already seen it.
I was probably the most sleep deprived kid on the block on the weekends. Especially Saturday. WUHQ, the local ABC affiliate had Shock Theater and then, because we lived so close to the Michigan/Indiana border, I was able to pick up Channel 28 which had Double Creature Feature that started immediately after Shock Theater. I remember one night I watched Invasion Of The Saucer Men three times in a night because I got lucky and found a Channel 43 that had something called Insomnia Theater. It was like winning the jackpot.
I also remmeber watching this murder mystery/haunted house flick where at the end of the flick there's this room and this misshappen man comes through the window and tells us that he's the killer and that if we tell anyone who he is that he would come into our room in the night and strangle us in our sleep. Needless to say I ran off to my Mom and immediately told her what I had seen. She smiled and blew it off and I felt quite brave; until that night when I spent the whole time staring at the single window in my room, waiting for this misshapen man to come in and throttle the life out of me.
Great stuff and it is all due to Forrest J. Ackerman.
Thankfully, both of my parents are movie buffs and encouraged this sort of behavior.
Now, I would like to run a little contest;
It consists of two parts and the rules must be followed to the letter. Any suspicion of cheating and you are disqualified .
Here we go.
It consists of two parts. The first part is to find out the name of the film I mentioned previously. You know th eone where the guy was gonna climb through my window and choke me to death. For this part you may use all your resources. Internet, steel trap for a brain, whatever.
The second part is a little trickier. There are five pictures below. They are all from horror movies from the past. You have to correctly identify the film they were taken from and you are not allowed to use the internet in this endeavor. Any suspicion of cheating and you are done.
What's the prize? You'll have to wait and see. First one to complete all these tasks is the winner.
Oh, and Forry? Yeah, I still love you.

Remember to have fun. Maybe pick up some newsprint and smell it while trying to figure these things out. It might bring back some Famous Monsters Of Filmland memories.

Stay Twisted!

Monday, November 3, 2008


It seems that, from a reliable news source, that our beloved founder of Famous Monsters Of Filmland is not much longer for this mortal coil. This crushes me in more ways than I can state. But, instead of wallowing on this I have decided to post a little ditty concerning my most memorable Famous Monsters Of Filmland memory;

When I was a young lad of twelve or so my mother was into ceramics. It may have been younger, but I think that this is a pretty good guess. Downtown Vicksburg had a few shops, but this one huge building housed the local ceramics shop. I would go with her and help clean flash off of ceramics, glaze a few tings and maybe paint something if the mood struck me. It was fun, but not an all consuming kind of thing to a kid.
Anyway, it was a cool, summer night and very few street lights were on. At the time Vicksburg was not all that populated and there wasn't much business in town with the exception of a few factories on the outskirts.
So, I had tired quickly of the ceramics scene so I went outside to sit on the huge front steps and pull a magazine out of my back pocket. It was an issue of Famous Monsters. In particular the article that grabbed my attention was one about the Boris Karloff film, The Ghoul. Now, remember that this was around 1970 or so so there wasn't a lot of the blood filled gore flicks that we have today. Add to that the black and white pictures had more of an impact on my young mind. I think they seemed more real to me somehow. And the monstrous make up that Boris had coupled with a pretty terrifying storyline that the magazine went into great detail and I was pretty wound up. I ended up going back into the ceramics place and see how much longer my mom was going to be. The light filled building helped to chase the heebie jeebies away, but when I looked out the huge windows of the front of the store I could see that the night was still out there, waiting for me. And, who knows, maybe The Ghoul was waiting as well.

Ever since then I always think on that night and it brings me a nostalgic sense of peace and makes me realize why I love a good horror movie. I know that you have to go, Forry, but I'm a selfish person and would rather you didn't. The world will seem so much emptier without the one great Forry Ackerman to remind us of why we love fantastic cinema.

I love you Forry.


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