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Saturday, August 28, 2021

Slasher Season 2


If Season One took a large amount of cues from Halloween, this one is definitely a I Know What You Did Last Summer kind of beast. It begins and camp when a judgement against Talvinder, a decidedly creepy girl who does her best to get in with the cool kids and then it all comes back to bite her in the ass hard enough that her corpse gets shoved in a hole. 

Five years later this group of five is forced to face what they did when the campground where they buried what they did is going to be the spot for a new resort and Talvinder is resting where the tennis courts will go in.

In the dead of winter they return to the camp that has become a community of peaceniks who aren't real crazy about the new visitors.

Then the body count begins.

Summer camp always means Friday the 13th to me and there are nods to that, but this is one of those series where everyone is severely damaged. No secrets are sacred and the more people hide the worse it's going to get. There are some cool kills by snowmobile, auger drill, chainsaw and much, much more. It gets pretty gruesome early on and doesn't slow down. 

The character Glenn is played by Ty Ollson who I remember as the vampire from Supernatural. There's a cute in joke there as well.

So, this could have also used some trimming, but I get that they are just filling time to get their 8 episodes. I understand how TV works. I also give them a pat on the back because while I knew who the killer was by the second episode I couldn't have been more wrong, yet right at the same time. It was a pretty good twist.

Time for Season 3.

I'll be back with that report. 

Deathknight by Andrew J. Offutt (1990)


So, I decided to pick up this as my next read. I hadn't read any sword and sorcery in a while. To be fair, this doesn't really have a lot of sorcery going on, but there is a decent amount of sword.
Falc Risskor is a member of OMO which stands for Order Most Old. They exist to prevent mankind from advancing technologically because, well this planet has done this already that and it almost destroyed everyone and everything.
Now the OMOs are much like our own Templar Knights. Everything is very ritualistic. Even the act of getting dressed must follow a certain pattern. This is the life of the OMO.
Now, there are people killing OMOs and Falc needs to find out why.
Just the way the descriptions of everyday items and particular attention to clothing is reminiscent of Michael Moorcock. The alien world that has turned it's back on technology is interesting to read about and a fair bit of world building has gone into the book.
It would have been interesting to see where it went from there, but this was just a one shot.
I'll be back with my next read once I've finished it.
Time to pick out a new book.

Wednesday, August 18, 2021

SLASHER Season One


So, a little backstory to get this moving. One of the lovely Martha's favorite shows is Merlin. Basically the time that Merlin and Arthur spent together as young men. In that we get probably my favorite character, Morgana played by Katie McGrath. So, a little internet research and I found SLASHER. Well, I love a good slasher flick and this was a series with three seasons. 

Each season is a different story arc, but I will have to see if they do have some interconnectedness lurking about.

But for now, Season 1. 

Sarah Bennett and her husband Dylan go back to her hometown of Waterbury. Just like any small town, dark and full of nasty secrets and Waterbury is no different. It seems that Sarah's parents were murdered by The Executioner, Tom Wilson. And Sarah was cut from her mother's womb. On Halloween just to make it cool.

Now she has returned to the same house because her grandmother never thought to sell it. Okay, I'll buy that.

And The Executioner has returned and is killing people using the ever popular theme of The Seven Deadly Sins. Always a crowd pleaser. Favorite kill would ne the naked woman hooked up to a paralytic IV covered in honey in the middle of a huge wheat field. Just for you city folk, those fields are just chock full of rats.

I did like the amount of practical effects used throughout the eight episodes. Sure, you can see some CGI once in a while, but mostly practical stuff and there is gore aplenty for you gore hounds out there.

All, in all this is incredibly clever. It has more red herrings than three Italian Giallo films, but I still figured out the killer around episode four. 

Here is the one thing that bothered me;

See, one of the victims has their head chopped off and put in a deep fryer in the local Burger Shack. During lunch rush one of the townspeople is eating his nuggets and comes across a breaded, deep fried ear. 

So, when the cops come they pull out the head and it just looks like a severed head. 

Here's the problem with that. I can assume that The Executioner cut off and breaded the ear. I'm fine with that. The Executioner is very fond of people finding their handiwork. But the head just looked like a head covered in greasy goo.

First, whoever wrote this doesn't understand how a deep fryer works. If we assume that The Executioner jammed it down between the heating elements so it wouldn't float, that's okay. But, when that baby got fired up for the day the stench would have been unbearable. That and the skin and hair just looked greasy. Hot oil would have made short work of all that skin and hair.

Honestly, that is really my only complaint. It was cool watching them just heap on some many weird things going on in a small town. If Twin Peaks proved anything, it's that small towns are where the real weirdness is going on.

I'll be back after I finish Season Two.

Saturday, August 7, 2021

Dinosaur Woman (2017)


So, here we are again at the altar of the one and only David Rock Nelson. 

I was geared up and ready to watch it in half hour increments.

And then it was over in three days.

Why? Well, there is a lot less of Detective Rock eating and much less of showing off his monster stuff. There was a lot of Dinosaur Woman attacks and you know that Jan wasn't in the suit all that much, but that's cool.

We did get a little driving tour of Des Plaines with narration by David so, that was interesting. I thought it was odd that the Dinosaur Woman laid so many eggs, but we never got one of them to hatch. Svengoolie is at a signing so he's in the movie and he is just the sweetest man. We also get Forry Ackerman being attacked by Dinosaur Woman and he put his all into it. There are a lot of people attacked at Monster Bash, which is normal for David's movies. 

The basic plot has The Mad Doctor (David) playing with Dinosaur DNA and adding a little cherry soda and whiskey (David pronounces it Viskey, for comedic effect)to the mix for Jan to drink down and become...The Dinosaur Woman. Jan did a great job during the transformation sequence and she does add a little something to David's films.

This one had footage from a lot of different time spans. The lab stuff is all 1996 with a much younger David as the mad doctor, of course. His brother shows up in a couple of scenes, one where he can't stop laughing which made it even better.

So, of the three David Rock Nelson movies I now have under my belt, this one is the most cohesive of the three. We still get the organic process of David working through scenes, sometimes with multiple takes and lots of hot java. 

I'm pretty sure I will need to start collecting these movies. I was a little sad when Dinosaur Woman was over, but never fear! According to the mandatory trailers for a few of his films, Dinosaur Woman will return and I can not wait.

Wednesday, August 4, 2021

And The Undead Sing by Carter Brown (1974)


I went into this book with zero expectations and in 126 pages found myself infatuated with private detective, Mavis Seidlitz. When a record mogul comes to Rio Investigations with a proposition, Mavis tells him he's out of his mind, until Johnny Rio, head of the agency offers her a full partnership in the agency if she can just impersonate superstar Sophie Ventura. 
And it should be easy as no one has ever seen Sophie before. 
But they need to act fast as it's been announced that Sophie will be on a European tour with the hot new group, Mango Pickle and The Undead. Johnny puts Mavis up in a sleazy motel and the story leaks that Sophie Ventura is there.
And then the book takes off running. Kidnapping, threatened at knifepoint, tattooed and kidnapped again. Mavis doesn't even have time to catch her breath as one minute she's dodging the mob who wants Sophie to sign with them no matter what the cost the next she escapes from the clutches of a high priced madame of a local brothel and starts a riot amongst the clientele. All while dodging the gruesome man known only as The Zombie.
This was such a fun read. I found out that Mavis is in 12 more books and this was her last appearance. I will be hunting those down as time permits. 
If you're looking for a quick read that never slows down until the last page then this is a great way to spend the day.   

Monday, August 2, 2021

The Fishman (2015)

 So, there I was rewatching my copy of David 'Rock' Nelson's Devil Ant when I decided to get some newer stuff from the infamous director. I ordered The Fishman and Dinosaur Woman.

See, I know what to expect from David 'Rock' Nelson.

To be blunt; insanity on a peculiar level.

So, this mad scientist decides to use fish DNA to make himself into a Fishman. 

That takes an hour before that happens and by then we have been introduced to Dave's underground lair (basement) full of so much horror memorabilia it boggles the mind. He also watches old monster movies on VHS. This is a true connoisseur.   

The Fishman attacks are bloodless for the most part and none of them seem to be fatal.

But, that's not important.

See, you watch a David 'Rock' Nelson movie for the manic energy that he brings to, well, everything.

I look at it as organic film making. He takes what he has and makes 2 hour features out of them. It can be a little repetitive, but I think that's part of the process. We watch the movie work itself out and it is fascinating to watch.

Only David 'Rock' Nelson would get bit by a big dog in real life and use it in the movie. The bite looked pretty bad too, but he recovered from it.

It becomes less about the plot of the movie and more of how David 'Rock' lives his life. 

We see one of his victims is his mother and she admonishes him for bothering her while she's reading the paper. She calls him David even though he is in his Fishman costume. It is hilarious to watch.

I did find it sweet that he has his father help him defeat the Fishman at the end. The man is in his 90s, but he gets suited up to look like a plainclothes cop and grabs his cap pistol and helps his son out in his movie. Just the sweetest thing.

So, if you're willing to put the time in and watch what might be one of the more original forms of film making you might find little things that entertain and amaze you at the same time. 

Now, remember that I ordered two films from David 'Rock' Nelson?

Look at what was stuffed into this envelope;

So many autographs!!! Personalized to me! He even dated and time stamped them (sort of) There was that little novelty fortune telling fish in Fishman. The envelope is decorated! I feel a scrapbook coming on. 
I will review Dinosaur Woman here after In watch it. I gotta say that I'm feeling a scrapbook coming on. Also, I have never seen Devil Ant 2 or 3 so I may need some more movies in the near future. Maybe I'll send him a copy of one of my movies.


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