LIKE FREE STUFF?

Who doesn't? Well, if you are one of the followers of this blog then each week in August I will be giving away a prize package to one lucky follower. So, follow today and get a jump on the crowd. I promise there will be many goodies. Then, after the month is over I will draw one name from the winners and they will get a free copy of DIVINE EXPLOITATION:THE BOOK! When it is released in November.
Seeya in August.

Week One winner is Brian D. Horrorwitz

Week Two winner is Jack Veasey

Week Three Winner is Holger Haase

Week Four Winner is Dr. Penis

  

INSECTICIDAL (2005)

The poster for this was kind of dumb. I liked the opening titles better.

So, we have a sorority house full of pretty girls, tough girls and nerdy girls. well, one nerdy girl. Cami (Meghan Heffern) who is studying insects and believes that they were originally much larger and much smarter. One, a scorpion, is so smart that it breaks into Sorority house leader Josi's (Rhonda Dent) room while she is having some bouncy bouncy fun time with the captain of the football team, Mitch (Travis Waters). In a tiff, Josi hoses down Cami's bugs with bug spray.
Unfortunately, these are not run of the mill bugs and it triggers a reaction that makes them large.
Large and hungry.
So it's a sorority house full of hot girls versus king size versions of a scorpion, stag beetle, spider and praying mantis. And that praying mantis is huge. Throw in a hot tub party and you have the perfect mix for big, big fun.
INSECTICIDAL reminds me of classic exploitation. We get naked girls, blood and crappy CGI. The classic stuff would have replaced the crappy CGI with crappy bug puppets, but you get the idea.
Meghan Heffern is like a Felicia Day clone. She exudes the hot, nerdy girl.

See what I mean? Hot and nerdy.

 Her sister (in the film, not real life) Sophi (Samantha McLeod) is the epitome of stacked blonde who is really funny as well.

See what I mean? Hot, blonde and stacked.

 While it is sad that they both keep their clothes on, it is expected from Cami as the nice girl. Sophi was a little more disappointing, but she did kiss girls in the movie so, that's okay. There are plenty of boobs in the movie anyway. Well, sort of. It seems that the only girls disrobing were card carrying members of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee and that's not a bad thing, it's just, well the same. One girl in the hot tub really had no boobs. Really! She was built like a 12 year old...boy.
But, the gore flows and there is a lot of cliche, genre dialogue that is done pretty well. The bugs are crap, but they still manage to work.
Oh, did I mention the hot, Asian exchange student? Fumi (Vicku Huang)? They do manage to keep her clothed in a skimpy workout outfit, but spend an awful lot of time with her doing weapons training with sai. She was pretty cool.
In the end this is a quick little time waster with a really attractive cast of people. They guys don't mind being as nude as the ladies and Meghan Heffern should be in more stuff. She managed to channel her inner Felicia Day like a pro.
One last thing.
A lot of bugs get killed in this and the bug goo flies pretty fast and furious. It so looks like facial porn with out the actually...well, porn. Just strange is all.  

Here's the trailer

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Cries of Ecstasy, Blows of Death (1973)

So, we finally cut the cable and bought a ROKU box. It is amazing and saves us so much money. Then I noticed that Something Weird Video has its own channel. The best 4.99 a month anyone could spend. I have barely scratched the surface of all the Grindhouse goodness, but when I saw this title I knew I would have to watch it.
It is the year 2062 and the Earth is a wasteland. Breathable air is almost gone and only by living in these huge plastic domes near a giant pipeline can the last of humanity continue to survive. Motorcycle gangs roam the countryside and the film opens with a pack of motorcycle riders raping a couple of girls. One of them ends up dead with her throat slit for the trouble.
The opening narration is by God himself.
There is much simulated sex to be had throughout the movie and in the final act another group of people arrive at the dome and one of them is Uschi Digard. Luckily the future seems to be clothing optional.
There is much over acting to be had with people who belong to the yell your lines school of acting. That makes it funny.

The one vehicle they have is this cool custom job that must be seen to be believed. The denizens of the future wear gasmasks that seem to supply them with air even though the eye holes have no glass in them.
The clear plastic domes are cool, and inflatable and using the stretch of the desert with a huge pipeline and a water runoff underneath gives the film a weird vibe that works really well.
The thing that took it up a notch is a little over half way through the film when one of the motorcycle gang brings his pregnant wife to the domes so their baby can be born and live. The man in charge explains that they all only have a few hours left and it would be a waste to give anyone hope with a new life. When the leader of the motorcycle gang rushes the leader another member of the leaders tribe flies into frame with an huge kick to the face. At that point we get some pretty well choreographed Kung Fu that seems so out of place, but makes it just that much more of a cool film.
Of the entire cast Ushci Digard is the most recognizable and gets to have dialogue which is always nice. The other two actresses that did more than this film were Sandy Carey (WHAM BAM THANK YOU SPACEMAN) and Neola Graef (CHROME AND HOT LEATHER)
Even the director and producer did nothing after this and it's kind of a shame. Mixing some intense soft core with a futuristic, bleak armageddon story with kung fu and motorcycles is always a good time.

Thank you Something Weird Video for having your own ROKU channel.    

SHAMELESS EXPLOITATION

I have always loved mini comics. Making them, reading them. It was recently when I was reading a book about zines that I found this unique 8 fold process to make a little comic book. To say I got carried away is an understatement. Here are some of the ones I have done to date;

Based on the podcast Tell 'Em Steve Dave. If you order one of my other mini comics, I will throw one of these in as a request. 

The only way to get one of these is to appear at one of my live shows. I do them once a month at the 411 Club in Kalamazoo Michigan. See you there.

Doug Life is my autobiographical comic. This issue my lovely wife, Martha and I went to Ann Arbor to see The Proclaimers.

This issue of Doug Life deals with my hate/hate problem of being a bike rider and stupid people who like to break glass. 

When Jess Franco passed away I decided to do a series of comics, each one dealing with one of his films. This one is an introduction and can be had for free if you order issue 2 that deals with his film WE ARE 18. 

My first attempt at a super hero comic. Yes, he's a giant K. I just finished issue 2 of this one.

I do accept trades. Ordering the Franco File is just a dollar and I throw in a freebie. Kapitan Kalamazoo is a quarter, but you need to throw in a few shekels for postage and I will throw in some freebies.

I just finished the first issue of THOR and that is also a quarter.

Paypal is dwaltz1962@yahoo.com

Thanks for reading.

MARON (2013)

I remember back in the good old days when Comedy Central showed a lot of stand up comedy. A lot of it. I got to see some of the best comedians in the world do what they did best. Marc Maron was always one of my favorites.
I recently listened to a podcast from The Nerdist and Chris Hardwick had Marc Maron on as his special guest. Coincidentally  IFC gave Maron his own television show based on his podcast, WTF? with Marc Maron. I had never listened to the podcast so I thought I would give it a listen. Yeah, it's funny.
The new show is also funny. I managed to catch the first two episodes and in the first one Marc hunts down an Internet troll to give him what for. Dave Foley is along for the ride and it is a humorous look at the subject. episode two deals with a dead possum and Dennis Leary calling Marc a pussy.
This is a funny show and I hope it doesn't go the way of many of my other favorite shows. If it does, I still have a trwasure trove of podcasts to listen to. If it works, then it's like icing on an already delicious cake.
The show is on IFC Fridays at 10, but I will never remember to watch it then so On Demand works for me.
You should watch it too.

GGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so for many years I have ridden my bike. To work, to school, to work again. There is this wonderful bike trail that goes right to the bus stop for me to catch the bus to whisk me off to my wonderful job.
It's a shame that the people in the neighborhoods that the trail goes through are too fucking stupid to appreciate it.
There is constantly broken glass on the trail that is used my pedestrians, children, bike riders and their many and varied pets. Glass by people too fucking stupid to deserve to live near such a great bike trail.
Short of taking my time and sweeping the glass off the trails by myself, probably to be greeted by new glass shortly thereafter, I see no way to solve this problem.
There is a bike lane that also gets me there. It too is riddled with the glass of morons and idiots that feel it necessary to break glass where people move their bikes and/or feet through the streets.
Morons!
Here is what the tube I removed today looked like.
(Note: This tire had already been patched once. The Fix A Flat worked for a minute before the hole tore and released the goop.)

I know two things.
One, I will have to think of a solution to this problem.
Two, I had better never see anyone breaking glass in my presence.
I don't have the bail money sufficient to get me out of what I will do to them.
Suggestions on a solution are being taken. All will be considered.

Divine Exploitation...The Book

When I decided to do a Print On Demand book of my zine I had no idea what I had bitten off. I would put in reviews, art, interviews, something with Linnea Quigley and my long piece on Jess Franco's A Virgin Among The Living Dead. I have 112 pages done with just reviews and a few of the interviews done as well. In the end the book looks like it will be a 300 page behemoth. That works for me.

Here's the cover;

This was done by Ron Merchant back in the day of print. I have no idea where Ron is and miss him terribly. He so got the whole Divine Exploitation idea and was fearless, unafraid to offend, well everyone.

Stew Miller gave me this fantastic bit of art;

I liked this so much that it is the header for every section of the book. It has that kitchen sink feel that I always tried to achieve with Divine Exploitation. One time I wrote about Spider Man cereal. Why? I really liked it. It was like Lucky Charms without all the damned marshmallows.

Then Linc Polderman gave me what will be the back cover. A lot of people like to put words on their back covers of their books. Yeah, I don't see that happening;

I know what you're thinking; 'Doug, when will the book see release?' I have a definite answer for you. November 7th 2013. Why? Simple. In 1988, twenty five years ago I did two things. One, I made this zine that has mutated into a website. It has been an epic 25 years of fun. The other thing? My oldest son, Seann will be 25 on that date. Really the better of the two things I created. 

So, as it gets closer to a release date I will have prices locked down and a page count. I have plenty of time to get it done. Five months for what is essentially a big, pretty reprint book. I will have signed copies available for anyone who asks at no additional cost. 

Stick around this should be fun.

P.S. This May we are shooting our second film, ATTACK OF THE KILLER CYBORGS FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE.  Wheeeeee!