SWORD AND SANDAL FROM WARNER ARCHIVE!!!

Two new releases from Warner Archive are available for the true fan of old school sword and sandal epics.

 First up is Hercules, Samson and Ulysses. Sounds like an odd trio when you blend Greek mythology with some Old Testament Judeo-Christianity with a sprinkle of the dude from Homer's epic tale. Makes for an interesting mashup. For some reason, the Ulysses character comes across more as Howard Walowitz from Big Bang Theory than some sort of hero. He's kind of a wimp. The other two are your typical musclemen who first fight one another and then join forces to defeat the evil king of The Philistines.
An obvious low budget film, as evidenced by the sea monster they fight is nothing more than a seal that is never shown in frame with Hercules. When he throws a giant spear it changes to a tinier version when it strikes the seal.
Hercules also fights a bull and a lion with his bare hands. I laughed when he was more impressed with himself later in the film when he caught a chicken. I guess a chicken is the hardest of all the wild animals to kill.
The print is pretty good. The colors are nice, but could have been more vibrant and there is speckling and other things throughout the film they could have cleaned up.
One last thing. They might want to reconsider whoever it is they have writing the copy for the back of the DVD case. It was a groaner;
"Now this is a smackdown, ancient-myth style. No octagonal steel cage. No rules. No surrender. It's Hercules vs. Samson in a brawl to outdo them all, hurling spears, heaving chunks of pillars and, in the clinches, bending thick iron rods around each other. Hercules had set out to find Samson and deliver him to the Philistines in exchange for the imprisoned Ulysses and other Ithacans. Samson, of course, fights rather than submits. But in the course of the titanic Herc-Sam clash, something happens. The two rivals develop a mutual respect and decide to join forces against their common foes: the Philistines. From an enduring filmmaking tradition that unites monsters (Frankenstein Meets the Wolf Man), desperados (Return of the Badmen) and superheroes (The Avengers) comes a not-to-be-overlooked film that brings together Hercules, Samson and Ulysses. Strap up your sandals' calf-high leather laces and get ready to rumble."
Um...Blergh?
I was impressed with the 17.95 price tag and Warner Archives is notorious for charging a lot for what is really a glorified DVD-R.
Any Hercules fan will want this for their collection. 

Next up is Damon and Pythias.

Guy Williams did this one between Zorro and Lost in Space. I think he and co star, Don Burnett, were looking for something to make them movie stars. Yeah, this wasn't it.
This is the legendary tale of friendship between two legendary figures of history. Yeah, it looks good and I can see why it was regulated to the Warner Archives, but it is so damned dull! If you're a true fan of these epic sword and sandal pictures then you're going to want to get it, but the curiosity seeker might want to just get the Hercules flick instead. It's a lot more fun than this one. Although the text on the back of this DVD case isn't nearly as bad.

MUNDO DEPRAVADOS & IN HOT BLOOD

God Bless Something Weird Video!
If it wasn't for them I would never have seen these films.
Mundo Depravados starts with a woman being chased through what looks like the New York garment district by a masked man. He catches up with her and stabs her and strips her down. In come detectives Riley and Hamilton (played by the comedy duo of Decker and Reed) to find out who this bizarre sex killer really is. They end up at a health club for women run by Tango (Tempest Storm) who is also an exotic dancer. Of course she is.

There is lots of classic women getting disrobed, murdered and attacked. Tempest does a bizarre dance number and helps the cops find out who the sex killer is.
There are a couple of things that make this film so fascinating. It is shot in New York. 1966/67 New York. All the exteriors are like a fabulous time capsule of places that would never be documented otherwise. Sure, Tempest Storm is one of the more wooden actresses of her time but, let's be honest. We aren't here for her acting. She has more memorable assets.

The comedy team of Decker and Reed are great as the cops. Decker plays the straight man while Reed is hilarious in his adoration and worship of Tempest. This is an enjoyable 73 minutes of time in a place that doesn't exist anymore and we are all a little less for the disappearance of a more innocent time.

In Hot Blood is a different bird in the same nudie frame. Rita (Doris Porro) is a full figured bombshell who is sick of the grind of factory work. She knows she's got it so, why not get paid for it? First it's just innocent modeling, but it isn't long before she descends into a lifestyle of sex, drugs and...well, sex. Marijuana at first, but it isn't long before the dreaded needle comes out. What will Rita do? Continue to slide down that slippery slope or make a stand?

With nothing but narration to lead us through this bizarre world of In Hot Blood, we get a view of depravity. Depravity lite might be a better description. There is a lot of nudity, some I wish would have stayed clothed, but the drug thing is just there until the harder stuff in the film's climax.
NOW FOR THE SPOILER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The only black girl in the film pulls out a baggie of heroin and proceeds to get a shot in the ass. Apparently this is a new, psychotic strain of heroin because she tries to force it on Rita and doesn't stop until Rita and her girlfriend beat her into unconsciousness.

When she awakens she is still in a rage, grabs a wicked looking cleaver from her purse and heads out to find the girls. She finds them after a lengthy lesbian tryst and hacks Rita up. The other girl grabs a gun from her endtable and shoots the drug crazed girl as she is hacked to pieces as well. The ending is so downbeat.
I did laugh when the narrator, who is also director Joel Landwehr, described Rita's coat as being orange. That would be great in a color film, but in a black and white one it becomes unintentional hilarity.

A really odd pair of films that work as a sign of the times and what things looked like back in the day.

I saved this one for last. She's the prettiest thing in the movie.

BLEEDING THROUGH (2012)

 
Lindsey (Sandy Behre) is a shy girl. She is also going throuhg a lot. Her parents are dead, her boss is a jerk, her teacher at school is a letch and her brother continually nags her that they have to sell the house. Lindsey is showing signs of depression that are completely ignored by everyone around her. Her boyfriend thinks she's just being an ice queen.
Then she meets Katie (Ruby LaRocca). Katie is funny and spontaneous and tries to bring Lindsey out of her shell. Lindsey has started being happy, dressing up and in love with Katie.
All is going well.
Then the betrayal occurs that sends Lindsey to a tub of warm water and a razor. That one straw has been broken and she can't stand to be alive anymore. She slices her wrists. (Note: This actually occurs at the beginning of the movie so, I'm not giving anything away here. Back to the review)
Lindsey's lifeblood oozes into the tub and she dies.
Then she comes back.
What comes out of that tub of gore is the opposite of everything Lindsey is and is interested in one thing...revenge!
Director Henrique Couto has made quite a discovery in his lead actress. Sandy Behre is one of the most captivating actresses I have seen in a long time. She reminds me of a very young Lina Romay. She conveys the anguish that people who live every day with depression so well. In the transformation she becomes this cold, inanimate angel of death that frightens the viewer.
See, Mr. Couto did something interesting. He gave us a film that forces us to invest time in Lindsey. Where no one else in her cinematic world realizes the demons she battles on a regular basis, Sandy Behre conveys a young woman's tortured soul. Everytime she has a breakdown for whatever reason it breaks our heart to watch. So, bravo to Ms. Behre. She did good. Very good.
A huge fan of Ruby LaRocca since forever it was nice to see her in this supporting role. She switches from sweet to creepy to mean as Hell in the drop of a hat and this was a really serious role for her. I know Ruby can do drama and this just proves it once again.
In the end Bleeding Through is an intense drama that deals with serious issues of depression, suicide and discovering one's sexuality disguised as a pretty cool supernatural revenge flick.
Bravo, Mr. Couto. Well done, sir.  

The Cinema of Jon Fedele. Part One.

Wild Malibu Weekend starts with and ends with tanned young ladies in 90's style bikinis...or less. In the land of T&A, Wild Malibu Weekend reigns supreme. Lots of thong bikinis as well. Directed by the lead actor of Flesh Gordon, Jason Williams knows what the people want.
Tits!
The entire film deals with a bikini competition that is televised on some obscure Malibu cable station. The girls have to do various things like pop balloons, put condoms on cucumbers and play musical chairs. The bizarre part is we see the entirety of each game. I had no idea that a game of musical chairs could take so damned long.
Barbara Moore as the simple country girl is probably the cutest of the bunch. The one sex scene is played for laughs and takes about three seconds. The host of the show, Marv, played by Avery Masters is pretty good and it makes me wonder why this is his only flick.
The stage band, The Hypermatics is a pretty okay surf band that adds a lot to the proceeedings.
Our star, Jon Fedele plays a surly security guard and also does moldmaking behind the scenes.
Here's a clip;


Next up Ghoul School!

SHAMELESS SELF PROMOTION

Your faithful editor dabbles in the written word from time to time. Here's a few things I have been up to recently. Get 'em if you want them.

  A DEMOCRAZY OF BRAINDRAINED LOONS: THE FILMS OF MICHAEL LEGGE A look at independent film maker,Michael Legge .

ATTACK OF THE CREATURES FROM THE UNKNOWN A throwback to the pulp fiction of yesteryear now an affordable Kindle edition!

NAHUM A taut thriller, now in a new affordable edition with a new cover!

NAHUM Kindle Edition For those of you with more electronic tastes!

Dick Sterling

Stuff that I come across needs to be shared. This last April I went to Cinema Wasteland. I met, for the second time, Janet Jay, model/actress and all around cool chick. Here's links to her new YouTube show. Enjoy! Go and subscribe to their channel so you don't miss a single episode!

VAMPIRE HUNTERS!

Having always been a fan of Jay Lind, I was glad when I received this in my email;

Some of the cast isn't carved in stone as of yet, but it still looks like fun!