STARLITE DRIVE IN THEATER DOUBLE FEATURE

BCI releases a lot of flicks on DVD. I think they may have struck gold with this little endeavor. They take two classics of the drive in era and package them like a drive in experience. Sure, there are other companies that do a better job, but these guys are packaging stuff that actually reminds me of the good old days of drive-ins.
First up is THE POM POM GIRLS. Directed by Joseph Ruben, this little slice of high schoolers life is actually a pretty realistic portrait of kids from the 70's. Having been a kid in the 70's I can tell you we did a lot of the joyrides and drinking and sex that is prevalent in this flick. And, while there are some laughs and some gorgeous cars in the flick, it isn't really a comedy. Robert Carradine (REVENGE OF THE NERDS) plays Johnnie, a hot head who is always ready for a scrap from the arch rival school. I thought it was amazing the shots that Ruben gets in this flick. Especially when the kids hijack a fire truck and visit the rival high school to hose them down during football practice. There is so much going on in this flick that would never make it to the screen today that THE POM POM GIRLS stands as a historical record of what the 70's were actually like. Sure, it's a little pumped up because it's a movie, but it hit pretty close to home for those of us that were there. I was amazed to see that director Ruben is responsible for some pretty solid mainstream work as well. From SLEEPING WITH THE ENEMY to THE GOOD SON, this is a guy who makes a solid, Hollywood picture that has legs. All of his filmography probably plays every day on any cable channel somewhere in the world. Not bad for a guy who started out with drive in fare like THE POM POM GIRLS.
The second feature is called THE VAN although it should be called CHEVY VAN because the song by Sammy Johns plays pretty much non stop throughout the flick. While there are a few returning cast from THE POM POM GIRLS it is lead Stuart Goetz who steals the show. Most people will remember Stuart from that episode of The Brady Bunch where Marsha eats a football and then her nose swells up and the cool guy, Doug, won't take her to the dance. Charlie, however, played by Goetz is the good kid who sees Marsha for what she really is and not just a pretty face. Those of us who have recently caught Maureen McCormick in VH1's Celebrity Fit Club do realize that Doug had the right idea because after all these years, Maureen MCCormick is going to be remembered for that pretty face that has turned into an alcohol soaked parody of herself. Anyway, Charlie..uh, I mean Stuart plays Bobby and Bobby has just graduated from high school with one thing on his mind.
Getting a custom van. Now, once again, I was around for this particular phenomenon and I'm kind of sorry that it didn't have better legs. Thousands of people drove these wild customized vans with cool artwork aribrushed on the sides and shag carpeting and a water bed in the back. Bobby is no different and gets the van of his dreams. He basically uses it to get girls and it seems that all he has to say is that he has a van and women are falling all over themselves to get into Bobby's pants and his van.
Of course, the inevitable happens when Bobby meets the girl of his dreams and she could care less if he has a van. In between Bobby has lots of adventures, works in a carwash managed by the one and only Danny DeVito and keeps one step ahead of a gorgeous blonde's jealous boyfriend who also has a custom van and is ready to throw down with Bobby at a moment's notice.
THE VAN is sort of the opposite of THE POM POM GIRLS. Where the director of that went on to other things and a few of the cast members continue to work, THE VAN cast and crew weren't so lucky. The director, Sam Grossman only made two pictures in his career; this and a sci fi flick called STATIC. And while Stuart Goetz is making a suitable career for himself as a television music editor he ain't burning up the silver screen. The only one in THE VAN to do anything with themselves would have to be Mr. DeVito.
Both the flicks bring back the feel of the drive in and the times they were made. BCI has managed to create a suitable cinematic time capsule for an era from a while back that just seems like yesterday to a lot of people.

My Apologies

It has been over a month since my last entry on this blog. Things have been busy. I have a new issue of the print magazine coming out in June and I'm producing a horrorfiction zine and a comic book as well. Like I said busy. I was going to cover some of that ground, but decided against it...for now. I have something else stuck in my craw and have decided to unleash it here. My good friend, Curt Purcell, who has the excellent blog, The Groovy Age Of Horror (www.groovyageofhorror.blogspot.com) also seems to be fed up with the current state of affairs as well. I have to thank him for saying what he said and that he was sort of an inspiration for what follows this brief introduction.
Have a nice day, folks.

Don't Be A Sheep!!!
I have said this many times and I mean it. Do not, for any reason, be a sheep. Do not be a mindless follower of anything. Even Jesus encouraged his followers to question everything. Listen to what you want to listen to, read what you want to read, watch what you want to watch. We live in America and every day we are losing some of our basic rights. The First Amendment is being attacked everyday. The documentary PORN KING from Blue Underground www.blue-underground.com is a fine example of our rights being attacked. I encourage everyone to watch this film. Go to www.noumbrella.org and read about that powerful short film. Buy it, too. The government has us where they want us. Complacent sheep.
Gas prices are so high it's not even funny anymore. The government blames it on refinery overhauls and the war and that it's easier to make gas in the winter than the summer (?????). We let them walk all over us. Explore different modes of transport. Use less gas and watch them fall over themselves trying to make up the profits they lose. The oil companies are making record profits. They are gouging the average American out of their hard earned dollar.
Hollywood produces multi million dollar pieces of dreck while true innovators in cinema are being left behind to scrape for pennies and hold down day jobs. Michael Legge, Mike Watt, Chris Seaver and Rock Savage to name a few.
Don't Be A Sheep.
I say it a lot and have decided to put my statement on merchandise. My lovely wife, Martha was quick to point out that if a lot of people buy this merchandise that they are becoming a different kind of sheep, but sheep nonetheless.
I see what she's saying, but I kind of hope that it sends a different message. One where we decide that what we have is worth defending from the fat cats who control this wonderful country of ours. There is a small percentage of those people in charge. Less than one percent, but they dictate our behavior? I don't think so. When will they realize that if every person who was tired of being beaten down by the big wigs just picked up a stick and smacked someone in charge on the head that the person in charge would look like strawberry jam in a short period of time? There are so many more of us than there are of them. Why do we let them do this to us?
In the film 300 (I know, I was spouting off about independent film a minute ago, but I really liked this flick) King Leonidas realized that Xerxes was a madman. Xerxes was proclaiming himself as a god and absolute ruler over all of the world. Leonidas knew that was horseshit and was not afraid to say so. Even when he was with just three hundred of his men at Thermopylae he knew that they were doomed. He also knew that history would remember them and they would stand as an example of people who knew that something was wrong and gave their lives to prove their point.
I am not advocating murder and senseless violence. That's the government's job. What I am advocating is revolution. Revolution in everything. From the way that the public school system is failing as a whole to our democratic government being a place where people get wealthy. People who are supposed to be fighting for our inalienable rights as American citizens and that among these rights are the rights to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness. Life? Our young people dying in a war that we can not win. I was little when Vietnam was here, but you think we would have learned our lesson and not done it again. Liberty? Tell that to Don Imus. Don't agree with what he said? Fine, that is your right. Telling him he can't say it ...WRONG!!! The pursuit of happiness? Prices out of control, mega marts taking over the wholesome mom and pop stores of yesteryear, cars made of plastic and dangerous, no pride in work because most of the things we buy is made in other countries. Not too happy a picture, is it?
The only answer is revolution. Revolt against the things that make you grit your teeth. Stand up for things you believe in with all your heart. Make a difference in the life of a stranger by doing something against the grain. Stand up and be noticed.
Don't Be A Sheep!
If you go to www.cafepress.com/dontbeasheep you can get that slogan along with a great piece of artwork from local artist Stew Miller on it. Wear it proudly. I didn't jack up any of the prices on the stuff there to make a profit. It's all Cafe Press base rate. And a percentage of all profits are going to charity.
I can't emphasize how important all of this is. It gets hard and people, myself included, get tired of fighting such an uphill battle. Take time for yourself. Enjoy the company of your friends and family. recharge those batteries and then get back up to the front and fight.
It's the only way.
Don't Be A Sheep.

THE VIDEO WORLD OF JESS FRANCO!

I have undertaken the task only a madman would think of. I decided that the recent output of Jess Franco has been given short shrift. To rectify this matter I am starting research which will culminate in a book that concerns itself only with his shot on video projects. So, From Tender Flesh to Snakewoman. I am also considering the inclusion of Killer Barbys since it's sequel is in this list. So, indepth profiles of each film and discussion of the under lying meanings behind this crop of work. Couple that with using his past films as a springboard for what he has been making lately and it should be fun. It means watching a lot of flicks though and that could be dangerous, especially where Jess is concerned. So, if you don't hear from me from time to time, that's where I am. Locked in my room watching Jess Franco films. Could be worse, trust me.

Now, on to this installment of Divine Exploitation!

Last year, for my birthday my oldest son, Seann took me to best buy to get me some DVD's. He got me a four pack called BLOOD BATH 2 because it had a copy of BLOOD SONG with Frankie Avalon. truly an underrated entry in the slasher flick genre. Anyway, next to it was a DVD set entitled HORRORLICIOUS. Nine flicks for about 6 bucks! How could I go wrong?

Here's what the six bucks got me;

GOTHIC - That's right. Ken Russell's twisted epic that supposedly chronicles the reasons behind Mary Wollstonecraft Shelly's reason behind writing Frankenstein. Personally, I'd rather watch LAIR OF THE WHITE WORM again, but it has some wild surreal touches.

THE DEVIL'S NIGHTMARE - I swear that when I was growing up that the owner of The Portage Drive In owned a print of this flick. He showed it every year with a different title! The beginning shot in sepia tone of the Nazi stabbing his baby daughter in her crib sets the mood for this flick of a demon who wipes out travellers to a castle and she does it according to the seven deadly sins. The guy playing Satan still creeps me out to this day.

THE HOUSE ON THE EDGE OF THE PARK - We get David Hess at his Hessiness. Watch David torment a group of partygoers. Watch David chew the scenery with the best of him. I do admit that the twist ending got me good the first time, but after that it just doesn't work.

BLOODY PIT OF HORROR - Ahh! Mickey Hartigay as The Crimson Executioner. I swear that this flick is the template for all those recent forays into torture horror like HOSTEL that have been coming out lately. Except this one is good. Mickey could give David Hess scenery chewing lessons.

HORRORS OF SPIDER ISLAND - Creepy spider monsters, creepy spider guy, lots of hot, curvy models all shot in some creepy ass black and white. I don't think it would have been quite as bizarre in color.

SISTERS OF DEATH - Five sorority sisters come back together to share a dangerous secret. And someone is killing them for it. This one works pretty good and it's twist is one of those where you keep saying, "Naw! That can't be what is going on." And then it is. Worked a lot like an old ABC Movie OF The Week and a lot of those were pretty good.

TERROR CREATURES FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE - Ah, Barbara Steele! Barbara Steele in black and white which is far better. That woman was meant to be viewed in monochromatic. And the tale set in an old hoary castle is quite interesting to boot.

THE NIGHT SHE AROSE FROM THE TOMB - Probably better known as THE NIGHT EVELYN CAME OUT OF THE GRAVE, this bizarre tale tells of a man who is slowly being driven to madness by his dead wife. Or is he? And the interesting thing to me on this one is that he is whacking women in the beginning of the film, but by the end he comes out as the hero of the flick. Truly a WTF? moment in Eurotrash cinema.

THE VAMPIRE'S NIECE - Known as FANGS OF THE LIVING DEAD this vampire flick stars Anita Ekberg and her two magnificent assets. When Anita inherits a castle she finds more than she bargained for in this atmospheric flick that had played in more theaters under more different names so you were always guaranteed to see it more than once.

There ya go kiddies. Nine really good flicks in pretty good shape I might add. Maybe not pristine prints, but watchable and in the end that's what really matters.

ON THE NIGHT HIGHWAYS ....Submission CALL!!!

Time to pitch the zine I'm doing again that will see print in late April. It's called ON THE NIGHT HIGHWAYS. I'm looking for horror fiction from any genre. the weirder the better.Here are the rules:
No hardcore pornography of any kind, unless it's integral to the storyline, but that would be rare at best.
No poetry.
5000 words or less, but this rule can be bent for that certain story.
Payment is as follows;
Writers - $1 regardless of length and five copies of the zine.
Artists - Yes I need art, too. $5.00 plus five copies of the zine.
It's not a lot, but it is a paying market.
Additional copies of the zines can be purchased for a dollar each either by check, money order or cash to;
Douglas Waltz1915 Douglas Ave.Kalamazoo MI 49007
or via PayPal at:
dwaltzwriter@yahoo.com
Please send all submission in the form of an attachment. All art as a jpeg. No snail mail submissions!
Have fun!

DR. DRECK PRESENTS; DOCTOR OF DOOM

Over in the vast wilderness of Massachusetts resides a madman. A man dedicated to making sure that we see movies in their original format and some movies that we might never watch. One such film, DOCTOR OF DOOM directed by the legendary Rene Cardona Sr. under the original title of Las Luchadoras vs. El Medico Asesino tells of a madman who is working on the ultimate brain transplant. Unfortunately, all of his subject tend to die. At first he thinks it's because they are not smart enough so, he makes off with a lab assistant. Bad move for the doctor because her sister is a wrestler. He then deduces that with a strong enough woman the transplant will work. That's where the lady wrestlers come in...with a vengeance. Hot for revenge our femme fatale agrees to help the local police bag the mad doctor. What they don't know is that he has this giant gorilla thingie under his command and when it's wearing it's special suit it is impervious to gunfire. An unstoppable monster of pure rage under the command of a madman with a deadly agenda.
Now, Dr. Dreck has his own problems during the breaks. It seems that his giant rat, Stu has decided to become a wrestler. First he topples the mighty Godzilla toy that stands a good two inches, but later he must match wits with another rodent. Who will win the mighty rat battle?
If you're looking for a classic horror host with the most you must check out Dr. Dreck. He broadcasts on cable access in the Mendon area and surrounding counties. You can also check him out here;
www.myspace.com/drdreck
Annoying him to send you copies of the broadcasts for a nominal fee might not be a bad idea other.
The Doctor is in and his name is Dreck!

Finally Finished!!

Between reading a ton of other books and wtching waaay too many movies, I managed to finsh this weighty tome. I think the size of this monster and the fact that it weighs in at just under five pounds, makes this a hard to tote along book. This was my read before bed book for a few weeks now. And I have finally finished the thing!
Final impressions are that it is a beautiful book and by using direct quotes by the hundreds of people involved in the series it gave us an in depth look into the whole movie making process. I really thought it was funny how some of these people are still bickering over who took credit for what and some of the attitudes of the actors are so shallow! It's like they feel it's necessary to belittle the projects that gave them such memorable screen time. Did they think that people were going to remeber them for that Shakespeare in the park they did waaay back when? No, they're gonna remember when Jason whacked you with (insert weapon of choice here). You'd think they would be more grateful.
In the end, the true measure of anything is, when it's over did you want more? Absolutely! I could have read this book if it were twice this size.
Great book and well worth the price.

THE POWER OF MUSK!!!

Do you see those rows and rows of pretty pink confections above this? They are called Musk Flavored Life Savers and they are from Australia. I first learned of these many moons ago when I was reading Paul Lukas' zine Beer Frame. Paul now has a website for all things bizarreat;
http://www.core77.com/inconspicuous/
It's pretty cool and you should go there.
Anyway, back to the Life Savers.
So, I'm reading about these Musk Flavored LIfe Savers in Beer Frame and I become obsessed with trying them. I started trolling the internet for an Australian buddy and soon came across one. I sent her cash and she sent me the Life Savers. Musk Life Savers are Pepto Bismol pink and smell like Musk perfume. They have a sweet suntle taste that's hard to put your finger on because it assails your sense of smell as it attacks our sense of taste. Needless to say this is an acquired taste and my wife and I soon became addicted to the sweets. Unfortuantely, I lost contact with my Musk supplier and we hadn't had any of them for many, many moons.
Then I found an online store called About Australia. You can find them here;
http://about-australia-shop.com/product_info.php/products_id/581
Even with shipping and handling they come to less than a buck a roll which is a pretty good deal. Of course if you're curious that's quite an outlay of cash. For a little over twenty bucks you get 24 rolls of Musk and they at least make for a curious little thing to hand out to friends and family. The looks on their faces when they put one in their mouth for the first time is priceless.
Now I need to find the other Australian flavor THIRST!
God only knows what they must taste like.