LITTLE RED RIDING HOOD AND THE MONSTERS

K. Gordon Murray was good at one thing. He would buy fairy tale/kiddie flicks from foreign markets, dub them into English and release them on the American theater circuit. His release of Santa Claus in 1959 probably gave generations of kids nightmares. All of the films were slightly demented because, in actuality, they were never meant for an American audience.

None moreso than this little flick.

It seems that The Big Bad Wolf and The Ogre are at a trial for not being able to destroy Red Riding Hood and Tom Thumb. The Queen of the Monsters, who looks a lot like Disney's Maleficent had decided that they will be tortured and executed. Even Red Riding Hood and Tom Thumb think this shouldn't happen to even a monster and with the help of Stinky the Skunk, they set about freeing the monsters from the other monsters. This brings the wrath of the Queen upon them and they have to doge monsters galore while continuing their quest.

The interesting thing is that this is a musical. Unfortunately, you will never hear singing this horrific in your entire life. Flat and out of tune doesn't stop this horribly dubbed atrocity from singing it's little heart out.

Sure, the costumes are primitive, but since it's a kiddie flick you sort of cut them some slack.

I think it's hilarious that the Good Fairy changes Tom Thumb to a normal sized kid about halfway through the flick. I'm sure it had more to do with budget constraints than story line. Plus, her magic wand is festooned with sparklers that give out halfway through the scene and the actors tend to shy away from the blazing contraption.

This is a truly bad and fun flick with all these monsters chasing these little kids through some surrealistic woodland it promises to give a new generation of kids nightmares that will scar their psyches forever.

Yay!

Caperucita Y Pulgarcito (Little Red Riding Hood and the Monsters) [VHS] 

DEATHUMENTARY

DEATHUMENTARY

2004 - 82 Minutes/Fullscreen

Directed By Arch Stanton

VHS Screener Provided by Alex Petrosian

Okay, before we get into the actual review, I have a few things to go over here. On initial viewing of DEATHUMENTARY, I found a film that was pretty good. When I checked the tape listings, all I had was the title and the running time of the flick. I went back to the flick and got some more info. You know, the director's name and the main cast. After that, I decided to go to the Internet to see what I could find. Because, as I said, I liked the movie. But there was nothing there about the movie. A big fat zero in the massive world of the Internet. I decided to check out the director, Arch Stanton, and see what I could find out. Imagine my surprise when I found that it was an alias for Jim Wynorski. Jim has done some stuff directly on video before, so it wasn't a stretch to think it could have been him. Then I found the note that accompanied the film. It was written by an Alex Petrosian. Now why would someone use an old Jim Wynorski alias for their project, especially when it’s being submitted to festivals? There was an email address, so I decided to contact the director via email. No response. This put my bullshit antenna up at this point. Why wouldn't someone playing their flicks at festivals admit to making this film? After all this footwork, I came to a decision: This is a Jim Wynorski film. I have no idea why he wouldn't put his name on it. Probably because there are no tits in it. Maybe he wanted a film festival audience to see it first. Whatever the reason, it is a good movie. Let's get into it shall we?



DEATHUMENTARY chronicles the teenage angst of Danny (Ryan Thomas Johnson). He is one of the geeky, high-tech losers at high school. Danny is madly in love with one of the most popular girls in school and has a habit of ticking off the school bully at every turn. His buddy Vince (Jessie Patrick) is always there for a really bad idea and his friend Lily (Emily Sinclair) is one hot girl who is madly in love with Danny. Of course, he can't see this, being all wrapped up in his teenage angst, the popular girl, and all. His life is pretty aimless. That is, until he videotapes the shop teacher giving a power tool demonstration.



The demonstration goes horribly wrong and the teacher ends up minus a limb and his life. Of course, it has all been captured on videotape. Enter video entrepreneur Seymour (Leland Crooke). He makes a fortune on a series of FACES OF DEATH rip offs and Danny's footage is just what his next instalment needs. Danny has no problem selling the footage and it is then when he comes up with a brainstorm. There are people in his life that make him miserable. Why not whack them and get it on tape? That way he gets rid of all the pains in his ass and makes some cash on the side. Sounds like a good idea. Right? It doesn't take long before the cops catch on to what is going on and Danny becomes a hunted man. Seymour has a plan to get the last of Danny's footage and then make it look like the kid went over the edge. A little self-defense and making sure it's all captured on video for the world to see, and Seymour has the ultimate instalment of his series. Unfortunately, Danny is a bright boy and has other ideas.



DEATHUMENTARY is a wonderful film. It is played a little tongue in cheek. Sure, it has the gore of a slasher flick, but it also has the hi-jinks of a high school comedy. Couple that with the general derision towards those FACES OF DEATH types of Mondo Mockumentary Entertainment and the moment where Danny is actually talking to us while his friend Vince is left clueless, and you've got cinema worthy of cult status. Sure, it's shot on video but so many projects are nowadays, which means it takes a great story to rise above the medium. DEATHUMENTARY is one of those movies. The acting is above average, while the camera set-ups and editing are both competent. This is another reason that I suspect that it's a Jim Wynorski flick.



As I mentioned before, there is nothing about this production anywhere. It seems like a lost film that someone is ashamed of. I hope not, because this is a real good time and I would recommend it to any true fan of the genre. It isn't often we get smart filmmaking on a slim budget.

Double Feature At The Waltz Compound

Another lazy Sunday with a house of sickos and it was time to get some black and white exploitation up on the screen.

First up was Devil Girl From Mars via my good friend, Michael Legge and his alter ego Dr. Dreck with another episode of The Dungeon of Dr. Dreck. It's summer time so the gang is at the drive in up to their usual hijinks. Throw in some vintage ads and an old school Looney Tunes with Beans (that's the character's name.) and Devil Girl From Mars never looked so good.
When you get a statuesque woman wearing a lot of vinyl bondage clothing who says she is from Mars and has the robot to prove it, you know that next thing she's going to do is take our men for breeding stock. Seems that Mars had a war of the sexes and the ladies won. Now, they have no way to repopulate.
I love the big, clunky robot in this flick and his disintegrator beam. The Martian chick ain't bad neither.



After a trip to the drive in I needed something a little sleazier.
Teenage Gang Debs fit the bill.

So, did Jack Hill watch this thing before he made Switchblade Sisters? Seems that Terry is the new girl in Queens, straight from Manhattan. She gets hooked up with Johnny, the prez of The Rebels and all is cool. Well, almost. Seems Johnny has a little thing about carving his chicks with his initials. Yeah, Terry ain't having none of that so she waves her feminine parts into the vicinity of Nino, Johnny's second in command. She puts out so he'll kill Johnny and take over the gang and she don't gotta get carved up.
See, Terry has a little problem;
She's freaking nuts!
She also wants to take over the gang and won't stop until she has eliminated all the competition.
This was a gritty little flick with zero nudity and stylized violence. It also has the song 'Black Belt' which might be the best reason to sit through this. After West Side Story and Switchblade Sisters, this seems a little weak even if it might have been before 'Sisters' and after 'West Side'.



Plus, I saw the ending coming from a mile away.
Another great double feature in The Waltz Compound.

DOUBLE FEATURE AT THE WALTZ COMPOUND

 FRANKENSTEIN'S CASTLE OF FREAKS

Man, that should win for just the title. Plus, how can you not like something that starts with angry villagers battling a...caveman?!? Yup, it's internationally acclaimed actor, Boris Lugosi, as Ook, the neanderthal man. Of course the villagers kill the beast which gives Dr. Frankenstein all the more reason to bring him back to life. Also, he's got another monster named Goliath. Both of these monsters are pretty okay, but they don't get along and the villagers really don't like the idea of monsters in their neck of the woods.
This was the Something Weird Disc that had a couple of shorts with strippers dancing with guys in rubber Frankenstein masks. Pretty cool stuff.

MANTIS IN LACE

Man, does this Lila chick like acid or what? She trips the first time when she takes a john to her hovel after stripping and it makes her crazy. She stabs him in the back with a convenient screwdriver before finishing him off with a handy cleaver. Sure, this plot is thin as it gets, but it has that look of the time frame. The two detectives on the case, Steve Vincent as Sgt. Collins and James Brand as Lt. Ryan, have a great rapport and Stuart Lancaster is in it! Of course he is wasted in the part and gets whacked by Lila, but any Stuart Lancaster is better than no Stuart Lancaster.
I thought it left too much unresolved at the end. The cops shot the guy she was with because he had a gun and thought it was a set up. And, to be fair, he did shoot first. Then they just handcuff Lila and throw her in the back of the car and drive off.
I always like films that show the streets of yesteryear and this is no exception. They have to check all the go go clubs to find their killer and the storefronts are a blast from the past.
Best part of the movie;
Lt. Ryan shows Sgt. Collins an earring off the first victim and mentions that he had boots and a flowered shirt. Sgt. Collins doesn't miss a beat.
A hippy, huh?
Hilarious!

SLEDGEHAMMER (1983)

The 80's did many things. Slasher flicks being one of the most memorable. Add to that that consumer video camcorders were a reality and anybody could make a movie. Brothers Ted and David jumped on the bandwagon and gave us the bizarre fever dream known as SLEDGEHAMMER.

In a house where child brutality took place, a group of friends come to have a party. The focus of the brutality has become something unearthly and violent and now it has something to focus its rage on.

One of the first shot on video horror flicks, SLEDGEHAMMER is unique in that it doesn't bother to explain a lot of why things are going on. It gives you everything at face value and expects you to be ab adult and keep up. That makes it a little more than most shot on video fare.

This new release by Intervision and Severin Films is probably the best that this can look. Add to that two audio commentaries, two featurettes that look back on the film and an interview with director David Prior and you have what may be the best DVD release of the year.

It is a shame that Mr. Prior seems to care less about the proceedings. In the interview he looks like he's ready to bolt at any moment and in the commentary he just seems so tortured. It made it kind of funny for me. After Intervision's two Jess Franco releases, this is probably the feather in Intervision's cap.

The one odd thing for me in watching this and all the extras is, where is Ted Prior? According to his brother he did all his own stunts, did the gore FX, wrote music. He's the one that should have done the commentary and interview. Oh well. 

But, I'm a little worried about that THINGS release. I remember that movie as being the worst.

SUPER (2010)

I have been crazy about this movie since I first saw the trailer. I knew I would have to watch it.

Yeah, then I watched it.
Sure, there are things I can say that I liked about the film. Some of Rainn Wilson's performance is spot on. Ellen Page does a great job at being completely nutzoid, but in the end...I really don't like this movie.

The trailer comes across as a guy who is fed up, lost his wife and at the end of his rope so he decides it's time to become a super hero. A vision with God touching his brain and showing him the cowl of The Crimson Bolt sort of nudges him in this direction.

His weapon of choice is a monkey wrench. Having done plumbing in my life, I have rapped my knuckles with a monkey wrench before. Yeah, that's gonna hurt. At first he tries to stop some minor crimes, but really it's about getting his wife back.
Kind of a selfish reason to become a super hero.
When Ellen Page as Bolty is added to the mix, things become dangerous. She is homicidal and delusional. A combo that really doesn't work if you want to be a good guy.

Now for the one thing that ruined the movie for me. And yes, as much as I despise spoilers, this is a huge one. If you don't want to read it I suggest you leave now, go watch the movie for yourself and come back later.
You have been warned.

Remember, I said there would be a spoiler. You should leave now if you plan on seeing this thing. It will ruin the movie for you.

Last warning.

Okay, here goes. They kill Bolty. Ellen Page gets half her face taken off by gunfire. Why? No Idea. Is it supposed to give Crimson Bolt the drive to storm the house and take his wife back? Well, since after a short time she leaves him for a better, more productive life, that can't be it. I think it was for nothing more than shock value and that is a bad reason. I think her surviving would have made for a better film and given Rainn Wilson's character more than what he ended up with which was a rabbit that he got from the pet shop.

In the end this is not a super hero film. Kick Ass was a super hero film. This was just some psychotic episode with a stupid ending. I'm not even going to bother with the incredibly misleading trailer.

SILENT MADNESS (1984)

What we have here is a slasher flick where the sorority girls are going home for the holidays, but a few of them stay behind. Then Belinda Montgomery, better known as Doogie Howser's mom, plays Dr. Gilmore and she believes that something fishy is going on at the insane asylum. Seems they were supposed to release John Howard, a slightly off, well meaning looney. Yeah, the released Howard Johns instead and the last time he was out he slaughtered a bunch of girls from, wait for it, yeah that sorority I mentioned.
And how did this mute, wide eyed psychotic get released anyway?
The hospital tried to cover it up saying Johns is dead, but it doesn't stop the body count from growing.
I don't know. It does cover all the bases; blood, boobs and well, boobs. Belinda Montgomery seems out of place here, but Viveca Lindfors shines as the looney house mother. It just seems so, I don't know, thin. I realize that there isn't usually a lot of character development in this kind of thing but it should have been better.
It was in 3-D for crying out loud!
I'm leaving you with the trailer. Judge for yourself.



Silent Madness [VHS]