The Indian Scarf (1963)

A group of family members are there to hear the will of their rich relative who had been strangled in the beginning of the movie. The will states they are to stay at the castle for six days before they can divide the money.
That's when the bodies start to hit the floor. Each strangled by a silk Indian scarf, hence the title of the film.
This is one of those great old films with a castle full of secret entrances and butler with a wry sense of humor and a cook that is a mountain of a man named Chico.
It's hilarious that the man reading the will deems himself the one to investigate the murders, but with every accusation comes another murder, usually the person he just accused. He never gets it right.
Throw in a baby faced Klaus Kinski and you get a silly, tongue in cheek murder mystery with a silly little joke at the end that you just have to see to appreciate.
As always, Something Weird Video has what you need. 

THE SINISTER MONK (1965)

An old man passes away, but not before changing his will to cut out the rest of his greedy relatives out of it. The lawyer drives away, but is knocked from the road and the will stolen. A Monk is stopped by a police officer, but with a brief distraction the Monk is able to use his bull whip to snap the police officers neck.
This is literally the first five minutes of the movie.
Soon, the actual person in the will, Gwendolyn, is invited to the all girl school run by one of then relatives. Each one has their own scheme to get on her good side, but that Monk keeps popping up to knock them off one by one.
Soon, the police are involved and then we find out there is more behind the scenes than we thought was possible.
This was so much fun. We get a weird artists who makes death masks. An odd handy man who always seems to be in the way. There are carrier pigeons, a white slavery ring, trap doors and squirt guns filled with sulfuric acid.
Just a great time and a great movie.
Get yours from Something Weird Video!

JIMMY THE BOY WONDER (1965)

Something Weird Video knows we are all completists in our collecting so they made sure to give us one of Herschell Gordon's Lewis' forays into children's matinee movies. He probably saw all that money that K. Gordon Murray was raking in and figured he could do that as well.
Sure, why not?
So, Jimmy on the first day of school wishes that time would stop so he wouldn't have to go. He just happens to make his wish at the exact moment that the clock at world's end is vulnerable to such a wish and everything stops. Well, except the wind. H.G. just had people freeze in place instead of freezing the film so, while they are stock still their clothes are still affected by the warm Florida breezes. Mr. Fig The Time Waster is ecstatic that time has stopped, but the magical astronomer sends his daughter Aurora to find Jimmy, armed with the pendulum of the clock at world's end to restart the clock before it is too late for all of us.
Add in a few musical numbers and a point in the film where Aurora tells Jimmy a story of a previous child who attempted this and we get a imported cartoon with a modified soundtrack to match the live action shenanigans.
Question though; how often does this damned clock do this so that we have two kids already risking life and limb to make amends for their foolish wishes? Seems they could make sure that doesn't happen so often.
Mr. Fig is hilarious and chews the scenery for all it's worth. Aurora is squeezed into a dress that leaves little to the imagination and the kid they got playing Jimmy did an adequate job.
Honestly, I loved every minute of it and I was really excited to see The Coral Castle in it.

SHAMELESS PLUG

I have a series of novellas called The Monster Killer and Volume 2 The Skunk Ape Skirmish has The Coral Castle in it. Click the book cover if you're interested.


CLICK HERE!

CRAZY WILD AND CRAZY (1965)

Something Weird Video graces us with what might be one of the oddest flicks in their massive selection of pretty odd flicks. We get a camera man checking the film that he has recently shot. We get a lot of naked girls that way with a pretty minimal plot. I got it for no other reason than it has Gigi Darlene in it. Pretty sure it's just left over shots that didn't make it into Nudes on Tiger Reef. Since it's the same nudist camp and she has the same white headband on. That's okay with me, but some of these shots with spinning and flipping and weird effects can be a little disorienting at times.
Like I said...pretty odd

MISS NYMPHET'S ZAP IN (1970)

Something Weird Video does great things for those of us obsessed with film. Herschell Gordon Lewis is mostly known for his gore flicks like Blood Feast and Two Thousand Maniacs. This is nothing more than sketch comedy. It's Laugh In with jokes just as terrible, but wall to wall nudity makes it go down a lot easier. It's plain silly. Nothing lese describes it, but it does make for a great background movie to play in the backgroun dof your next party after the plague leaves us.

IT'S HOT ON SIN ISLAND (1964)

When you start with a couple of fellas trying to scrape up the cash to finish paying for their boat and one of them is Pauly Dash from one of my favorite Something Weird Video releases THE HOT PEARL SNATCH, we are off to a good start. Throw in five nudie cuties and a plot concerning counterfeiters trying to make a quick getaway with a briefcase full of phoney money and you have a pretty busy entry in the sub genre of the nudie cutie. This is a fun flick and I really enjoyed it.

50,000 B.C. (Before Clothing) (1963)

Again, if you think this sounds like the movie for you just hop on over to Something Weird Video

So, Charlie is an ex Burlesque comedian who now works for the sanitation department because his nagging wife got him out of the business and into the sewers. We know he's an old burlesque performer because he reminisces about a couple of his skits with his dog while he works in the sewers. He actually never really goes down the manhole to do anything, but that sounds typical for a city worker, right?
Anyway, he has a crazy German neighbor who is working on a time machine so people can go back to a time they prefer instead of modern times that everyone hates. I get it, living in a crappy little trailer park in Pismo Beach would be far from ideal.
Charlie is off to the Sanitation Workers Ball but first needs to get fitted for a tuxedo. The shifty tailor fits him with one a little big and a stove pipe top hat that used to belong to Abraham Lincoln and explodes if you whistle Dixie.
Charlie has too much to drink at the ball. Let's stop for a minute at the 'Ball' It's just Charlie dancing around by himself and drinking copious amounts of liquor. At no time do we see another person at this ball.
Anyway, he decides to sleep it off in his neighbors taxi which is the aforementioned time machine. Soon, Charlie is hurtling through time and we see snippets of the Civil War and Cleopatra's Egypt. Then we are in caveman times and there is a severe lack of clothing going around. Soon, Charlie finds himself in love with Zelda (Gigi Darlene just as adorable as ever, with a French accent for some reason). Fighting a giant caveman (Eddie Carmel who most people would associate as the monster from the closet in The Brain That Wouldn't Die) and did we mention the naked ladies? Yeah, there's a lot of them.
The print is rough, but the color is still rich and it's just a silly burlesque style of movie. Lots of bad jokes and pretty girls. Charlie Robinson as the lead does a great job mugging for the camera. Gigi Darlene is the reason I bought this and she looks amazing in the film.
This one is just a lot of fun.

THE MAGIC SERPENT (1966)

As always I am currently reviewing many films that I got from Something Weird Video. If any of these look cool to you and you want to get a copy follow the link and type the name of the movie in the search bar.
So, a Japanese lord is attacked by his closest companions and murdered. His son manages to escape, but the bad guy has a shape shifter working for him so the shape shifter chases him as a giant serpent, but a giant eagle claws the beast which causes a geyser of blood to erupt from the serpent and the eagle saves the boy who grows up under the tutelage of a sorcerer who shows him all of his tricks.\
Yeah, this is like the first five minutes of the movie and this is a kids movie. It was on TV perpetually back in the day.
You get ninjas and a fire breathing toad monster. A giant spider that shoots fire extinguisher foam. The serpent shoots geysers of water. Add in a mysterious girl searching for her father and the weirdest scene ever where a ninja with a boomerang sword (yes, I said boomerang sword) cuts off our heroes head. Nothing to worry about, he's fine. His head mocks the ninja while his body ties up the ninja to question him. Of course the ninja chews off his own tongue and swallows it, killing him instantly.
Did I mention this was a kids movie?
Anyway, The Magic Serpent is nothing but insane action for its entire run time. Just when you think you've figured out what's going to happen next you get a fire breathing toad monster. And there's even a scene where our hero flies to the battle on a cloud that gave me Dragonball Z flashbacks, but was probably just influenced by Journey to the West, at least that's what my youngest kid tells me.
Anyway, The Magic Serpent is a fun filled throwback to when kiddie films were literally insane.

DEATH IS NIMBLE, DEATH IS QUICK 1966

I am currently reviewing my collection from Something Weird Video. I have added a link to anytime you see the words Something Weird Video you can click on it and it will take you to Something Weird Video. 

 

Haven't bought a huge amount of spy flicks from Something Weird Video, but this one looked interesting so I thought; why not?
So we have private eye super adventure guy Joe (Tony Kendall) who has been called in to protect a rich girl. Add in Captain Rowland (Brad Harris) who is being asked to help out because there are a series of murders caused by Karate.
I had no idea there were six of these. I found three other ones on the Something Weird Video site. I may need to track them all down because this was a great movie. Full of action, chases, spy gadgets, beautiful women. Hell, they try to kill Joe with a shower full of cell destroying bacteria right off the bat! There's a mad scientist who wants to destroy the world and has a huge underground lab to do just that.
There is no real down time in this movie. It just keeps going and going and going. There's this cool trimaran on Death Lake that looks like something out of Thunderbirds. Everyone stops for a drink or a cigarette every five minutes. The chemistry between Kendall and Harris is fun to watch. Tony Kendall rocks a magnificent hairstyle throughout then film that doesn't budge even when a whole house explodes.
This was a lot of fun and now I must add the other ones available to my next Something Weird Video order.

CORONA ZOMBIES 2020

Sure, the whole idea seems tasteless, but what the Hell. I was actually a little excited to see it.
Then I watched it.
Let's run down the good and the bad shall we?
It's only 54 minutes long. That's a definite win. Of course the new footage in the film is only like five minutes of footage. The rest of it is overdubbed scenes from Hell of the Living Dead and Zombies Vs Strippers. They really only use the ZVS footage to guarantee boobs.
The overdubbed scenes from Hell of the Living Dead are very funny and nothing is taboo. Nothing. Watch it and you'll see.
For the new footage we have Barbie (Cody Renee Cameron) who comes home to find out that the Corona virus is making zombies and she forgot to get toilet paper. She gets a call from her friend Kendra (Robin Sydney, pretty much the only reason to watch a lot of Full Moon's films so, of course, she's just on the phone here. What the literal Hell, Charlie?) Also, if you're going to have the blonde bimbo get in the fucking shower, maybe shoot higher up so we can't tell that she has left her shirt and bra on. I mean, what the fuck? We round things out with Russell Coker as the Corona Zombie. He's the only one wearing a face shield in the movie.
Corona Zombies is a clever blend of old movie footage, a sprinkle of new, utterly worthless footage and some news footage to give it a sense of reality and emergency.
Finally, if you're gonna hype this thing so much that the site crashes, maybe plan better in the future. I think I might just not renew my subscription and subscribe to Troma NOW! instead.
Fucking Full Moon...

COTTON PICKIN' CHICKEN PICKERS

 So, Darby (Dell Reeves and Jerry (Hugh X. Lewis) are sneaking aboard a train to California. You know this isn't going to be a normal movie when a guy sits up in the train car and plays the duo a tune on his guitar. Yup, it's a musical. They pass a chicken farm and get caught trying to grab a chicken to eat. Pretty soon they are off to jail and the judge sentences them to sixty days hard labor. They escape and head into the Swamp Of No Return so the cops call out the helicopter pilot, none other than Mel Tillis who sings a song for us while he flies and does not stutter once in this movie.
It's a combination of moonshine movie, country western musical and hillbilly comedy all rolled in to one. In other words; a pretty good time.
One thing stuck out for me though. Cousin Elwood (Robert V. Barron) looked a lot like Mike Vraney of Something Weird Video to me. Let me show you.

Maybe it's just me, but they looked enough alike to me. Of course I've never seen Vraney with a beard. Barron is most famous with a beard and his portrayal of Abraham Lincoln in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

It's a fun flick if you like this kind of thing. I had a great time and Mel Tillis had the best line when he said that an alligator ate one of his brothers. Someone asked, which one? And he said; Beats me I can't tell one alligator from another. Just hilarious.

NUDES ON TIGER REEF (1965)

I would have to blame Doris Wishman's film Bad Girl's Go To Hell for my mild Gigi Darlene obsession. Since then I have been lucky to find many of them at Something Weird Video. I am a huge fan of the standard nudist camp film. It's fun to see how they avoid the things you can't show more than what you can't Girls can be seen except for their pubic region, front and back. Same goes for the men. Lots of people with strategically placed towels, beach balls, trays of drinks. you get the idea. And, if you can get the thinnest of plots to go along with it all the better.

In this one we have Sande (Sande N. Johnsen) telling his Broadway star, Nadja (Nadja Swensen) that he will be too busy on the off season to make a film. What he really is doing is going to visit the nudist camp he frequents every summer. The owner of the nudist camp asks him if he wants to shoot a documentary for him about the camp. Sande isn't sure about it, but the owner explains that there is a star there that would be happy to lend her talents to the movie.

Yup, it's Nadja. After a hot minute of embarrassment they decide to go for it and shoot a documentary about life at a nudist camp. There is lots of posing and activities, even scuba diving that becomes the star of the film. I was glad to see Gigi Darlene, the only reason I bought this movie in a lot of the film. And in color to boot!    

It's a nudist camp movie so some scenes seem to go on forever. There is zero live dialogue, just a narrator for the events that unfold in front of the camera. The solution to the male frontal nudity was speedos. Sande looked like he got the wrong size as he get his hairy ass crack anytime we see him. Luckily it's not often.
In this new age of restoring films to their former glory, I would love to see this get that treatment. The colors are washed out in the print, reasonably so for an older piece of cinema, but can you imagine the blues of the ocean and the deep, rich greens of the foliage? I can and it would be magnificent. Wishful thinking I'm afraid, but you never know.

I recently got a deal over at Something Weird Video and bought like 30 DVDs. I think it's time to bring back reviews to Divine Exploitation on a regular basis. 

Be back soon with another oddity from the vaults.