THINGS 2 (1993)

 Producer David Sterling of Sterling Entertainment fame has recently been releasing box sets of his films. The Camp Blood set was magnificent. The Axegrinder set was cool, but thin. I passed on The Occultist set altogether.

But, I couldn't pass on the Things boxset.

I've seen a lot of these and they are silly fun with gore and monsters.

One problem; No Things 2 in the set.

Not sure why. Didn't really care.

I utilized my years of experience and unique resources to get a copy to watch.

Best idea of my life. (Not really)

It's the same concept of a captive audience. In this case a pizza delivery girl taking a pizza to a well known author who she is a huge fan of.

He offers to tell her two new stories and she decides to stay.

The first is another infidelity story with a twist you might not see coming. Much like the first film. The monster is cute and I liked this one.

Next we get a female photographer and a former police officer hunting down a serial killer that might not be human and might have a lot to do with the woman's father and his experiments when she was a child.

This time the wrap around has an additional twist you don't see coming at all.

This was a lot of fun and I'm glad I watched it before I continued with the Things boxset.

I am considering putting this up on my Google Drive and let people watch it for free. David Sterling can't sell it and no one else out there is putting it out there.

 

Babysitter Massacre: Daddy's Little Killer

 So, many moons ago my friend Henrique Couto made a movie called Babysitter Massacre. A throwback tio the classic slasher films of old. It was fun. I liked it.

There was a plan for sequels until COVID came along.

So, instead we get a book. The title is, well the title of this article and it was written by David O'Hanlon. The layout of the book is a throwback to things like Fear Street which I never read a single one of so, I'm not sure how this would compare.

I'm pretty sure none of those had the sexual energy of this particular book. Since it's not a movie the whole Have Sex and Die trope is a little more sleazy than what you would probably get in a movie.

And that's a good thing. The written word is made to push boundaries and this book manages to do that nicely.

There is even a tie in with the original movie  and an interesting tidbit leads us to believe that we will be seeing more of these in the near future.

The basic plot is there is a Babysitter's Club and some maniac is killing them off one by one in extreme gruesome fashion. Can the good girl, Lark save the day? Will the book follow the sacred rules of The Final Girl imbedded in all slasher films? 

You'll have to read the book to find out. I can tell you it is a fast read and the last fifty pages or so the action turns up to 11 and forces you to plow through until the satisfying ending and the we even get a equally bizarre epilogue.

 In a world without many new movies being made it is nice to see people like Couto stretching the boundaries and managing to give us something nearly as fun as a slasher film.

I can't wait for the next one.

AMITYVILLE VIBRATOR (2020)

Some of my favorite film directors are what I would consider to be fearless. Nick Zed, John Waters, Jess Franco, Bill Zebub.
All weak in comparison to the maniacal genius named Nathan Rumler and his newest entry, Amityville Vibrator.
See, there are a lot of Amityville movies. A lot of them. Don't believe me? I went to IMDB and searched titles for Amityville. Know how many I got?
Thirty.
If ever something deserved to be mocked it was this particular franchise.
And Rumler does it with finesse. It's like he made a list of things you don't have in this kind of movie and just put it right in there.
Actual insertion (Sure it's a vibrator, but it still counts.)
Male nudity.
Puppet fucking.
Some amazing gore effects by James and Mae Bell.
An actual magic mushroom trip captured on film.
Nathan Rumler is not fucking around and willing to be the most fearless voice in the world of film. The fact that he convinced a cast and crew to go along with his mad plan speaks volumes on the sheer creative energy that is on display in this movie.
A lot of 2020 has sucked so far and Amityville Vibrator has managed to make the world a brighter place.
It's a simple story of a girl who has dumper her premature ejaculating boyfriend, played by Nathan. She goes on a sex toy shopping spree with her friend and they come across a yard sale where she is gifted with a black vibrator.
But is so much more than vibrator.
With a running time of a tight 63 minutes and a magnificent soundtrack by bands that I must hunt down and listen to, Amityville Vibrator is more than just the movie we want.
It's the movie we deserve.

Maniacal (2003)

I have always been a slasher film fan. In that particular genre you have what I like to refer to as a sub genre that I affectionately refer to as looney from the looney bin on the loose. Interestingly enough, Halloween isn't one of those I count in this sub genre as I feel it has been done to death.
I'm thinking more of things like Truth or Dare; A Critical Madness or The Last Slumber Party.
And now, Maniacal. It seems that Gilbert is a little slow and freakishly strong. His drunk father could care less and yells at Gilbert. To confuse his poor brain even farther his step mom is always being a little too kissy kissy. One day Gilbert snaps, smacks dad with a hammer and then proceeds to bash step mom's head in with the same hammer. Gilbert gets caught and is taken to the insane asylum to stew in his own insanity for a few years.
Then, the asylum decides he should be able to visit so, Dad is on his way to pick Gilbert up when Gilbert decides he wants to leave early by shoving a fork in an orderlies skull and snapping another ones neck. Before he can make it out of the asylum he is forced to rip a few other people to pieces and then he steals his own father's truck and heads for home. Home where his little sister is getting ready for a slumber party with her friends and some uninvited boys,.
I know what you're thinking; this sounds like a number of slasher films and you'd be right, except for one thing;
Joe Castro. Joe Castro not only directed the film, but he also did the gore effects. Joe's practical effects are some of the best in the business. He also directed a couple of my favorite flicks; Terror Toons and Legend of the Chupacabra. Joe brings his knowledge of practical effects along and the aforementioned step mom head bashing looks spectacular. The fork to the head? Yeah, that looked painful. All of the effects are practical and remind me of the fantastic slasher flicks from the 80s combined with the slasher SOV flicks of the 90s. In other words, Maniacal is a slasher film fans dream come true. There is a scene in a video store with so many VHS tapes on the shelves it took my breath away. I think if I had any criticism of this movie it would be this cool weapon that Gilbert put together with a pole some knives and duct tape. I would have liked to see that used in a few more kills in the film.
In addition I would like to mention Lee Web  as Gilbert for the sheer intensity he brings to the role of  a stone faced, silent killer.
Maniacal is available from Sterling Entertainment for a pretty reasonable price. I recommend it.
 

THE FLESH AND BLOOD SHOW (1972)

I though this sounded like a great movie. I do appreciate the fact that are so many boobs on display in this movie. The plot seems tired. A troupe of actors in a remote location getting whacked for a pretty mundane reason.  And it is just so damned dull. I was interested when I noticed a huge plot hole, but then the movie addresses that and gives us the explanation and, I don't know it just seems...meh. No real gore, a little blood and a whole lot of over acting in abundance. In the end it just seems long and you know you're in trouble when an acre of titties won't hold my interest for the running time of a movie. Oh well.

PASSION FEVER (1969)

So, not actually a Doris Wishman movie, but since she dubbed it all freehand without a clue as to what the movie was actually about it does have that Wishman flair to it. It is the tale Yorgos who is a ladies man. In the movie he just walks up to the ladies and asks them if they want to come back to his place for some fun. Then he falls hard for Micki, totally unaware she is a prostitute. Eventually, they end up together , but then one of his dalliances comes back to haunt him. A school girl named Delia who is pregnant with his child. Yeah, except it seems Wishman forgot about a throwaway line earlier in the movie when Yorgos stops at the pharmacy for some condoms in case his latest conquest isn't on birth control. No way Yorgos was going to pull this kind of a rookie move. The fact that she's a school girl is pretty disgusting, but Yorgos gets his at the end. The abrupt mend makes it fell like Doris made the movie after all. I can see what she saw in the production. A sleazy story and some gorgeous black and white cinematography made this quite an interesting movie.

THE MAGIC WORLD OF MOTHER GOOSE (1967)

I really like Lewis' Jimmy The Boy Wonder. I thought to myself; 'Well, another kiddie flick from the Master of Gore ought to be good, right?' Lord, I haven't been this wrong in a while. It is just a stage play with lots of magic tricks dressed in a storybook play. I've seen statues move more than the camera did for this one. I wracked my brain to try and come up with something nice to say. The guy portraying Merlin was kind of cool. I thought Mother Goose was the same woman from The Gruesome Twosome. I was wrong. And Raggedy Ann was creepy as Hell. Guess that's what I get for assuming something should be good.

SNOW WHITE (1955)

We all know the story of Snow White. Because of the Disney film it is ingrained into the human consciousness. This is a German production that goes live action. The dwarves are played by children. I love that the evil queen is not really that good looking. Prince Charming with his page boy cut is hilarious. The hunter doesn't even try to cover up that he hasn't killed Snow White and gets thrown in the dungeon. Because of the Disney norm that we all have it's interesting to see a different take. The queen takes three tries to kill Snow White. The prince didn't have a magic kiss. When the dwarves drop the glass coffin they knock the chunk of apple from her throat and she's fine. I admit that is weird because she's been dead for a few days. It's a fairy tale so, what do you want.
A lot of these kiddie movies tend to have a low rent feel to them, but this one is so lush. It deserves a new release and a cleaned up print. In it's original lush color I'll bet it was just beautiful. The kids as dwarves are not as annoying as you would think. They do a great job.
These kiddie films are just a great thing that you can get from Something Weird Video . I recommend all of them. They are either sweet like this one or just some of the weirdest things you have ever seen. Great stuff.

MISCHIEF IN WONDERLAND (1957)

So, we have a poor little kingdom with a kind king who invites a fairy in from the rain and cold and shares the last  of his food with her. To repay his kindness she gives him a special button that when he rubs it wonderful food appears. Anything he can imagine. He shares this good fortune with the entire village and soon everyone is overfed and lethargic. No one works and the kingdom is sealed off by a mountain of milk rice. The good doctor is outside the village so he is unable to get in to help. A neighboring kingdom that seems to be Middle Eastern in origin originally turned down the good kings offer to marry his young daughter, but when he sees the transformation of the kingdom he decides he wants it for himself.
This is a fun, silly movie and I had enjoyed it quite a bit. I can see watching this one more than once. Luckily there is only one musical number because they didn't get anyone in the dubbed version of the film that could actually sing.
Another K. Gordon Murray imported classic brought to you by Something Weird Video.

GORILLA (1956)

GORILLA

So, Gorilla is a lot of things. It's the first Swedish film in color. The shot it in the Belgian Congo and it deals with a gorilla that has turned into a man killer. Apparently, the gorilla's mate died and it went off the deep end so, they go get the great white hunter to kill the gorilla.
A lot of this feels like a documentary and it's obvious that none of the villagers are actors of any kind. They aren't all that nice to the pygmies either and consider them to be a lower life form. But the elephant attack on the village is obviously staged.
And the ending is sudden and horrific. I realize that it's a pretty old movie so, spoilers are what they are. At the end the great white hunter finds the gorilla and someone, probably not the actor, shoots it out of the tree. Then we see the great white hunter check the corpse and yeah, they killed a gorilla in this movie. Just kind of jarred me out of the picture.
It succeeds in showing what mankind was like decades ago and I'm glad we're not like that anymore. Well, except for the assholes who still hunt gorillas.
This one, like all of the recent ones can be found at Something Weird Video 

The Adventures of Busty Brown (1967)

So, this fella that owns a strip club wants to get into the Japanese heavy machinery business because, hey who doesn't? Now, instead of going by the normal industrious route he figures if he kidnaps the CEO of the company's young daughter and hold her for ransom. The ransom being made a partner in the company. How long would you keep a partner whose initial move is to kidnap your daughter? Anyway, the business man doesn't waste any time in hiring Busty Brown who lives up to her name and reputation. Soon, she is in the club showing off her ample assets until she can get close to the daughter, whisk her away on horseback (???) and when they bad gets too close she hits him with her knock out spray, no not her boobs, actual knock out spray. Then they stuff him in the trunk of his car and push it off a cliff. Again (???).
Does it feel like I've given everything away? Yeah, not really. There is so much going on in this movie. Did I mention that for the darker scenes they had one good light and no real idea of where to place it so we could see important things like the actor's faces?
Busty herself is very nice to look at as are all the lovely naked ladies that grace the film. The bad guy has a huge nose and one of his henchmen is probably the most stilted actor on the planet. They even throw in a little kung fu for good measure.
My favorite part would have to be the German Shepherd that looks like he just wandered in the movie
All in all The Adventures of Busty Brown was a fun flick. Shame it never became a series.
And, as always this and many more fantastic films can be found at Something Weird Video. 

HUNCHBACK OF SOHO 1966

A young lady has arrived from the United States to receive her inheritance. But the lawyer's secretary records everything and calls someone to kidnap the girl so they can steal her inheritance. They take her to a home for wayward girls that is a front for a laundry that is also a front for a gambling prostitution ring.
This one has so much fun going on. We have the hunchback who does the dirty work for the people in charge of the laundry/prostitution ring. The organ that the matron plays during choir practice is rigged with alarms that are scattered throughout the house. We have secret one way mirrors, secret doors behind sliding mirrors. There are double crosses and weird reveals that I never saw coming. In other words; another great flick from Something Weird Video

The Indian Scarf (1963)

A group of family members are there to hear the will of their rich relative who had been strangled in the beginning of the movie. The will states they are to stay at the castle for six days before they can divide the money.
That's when the bodies start to hit the floor. Each strangled by a silk Indian scarf, hence the title of the film.
This is one of those great old films with a castle full of secret entrances and butler with a wry sense of humor and a cook that is a mountain of a man named Chico.
It's hilarious that the man reading the will deems himself the one to investigate the murders, but with every accusation comes another murder, usually the person he just accused. He never gets it right.
Throw in a baby faced Klaus Kinski and you get a silly, tongue in cheek murder mystery with a silly little joke at the end that you just have to see to appreciate.
As always, Something Weird Video has what you need. 

THE SINISTER MONK (1965)

An old man passes away, but not before changing his will to cut out the rest of his greedy relatives out of it. The lawyer drives away, but is knocked from the road and the will stolen. A Monk is stopped by a police officer, but with a brief distraction the Monk is able to use his bull whip to snap the police officers neck.
This is literally the first five minutes of the movie.
Soon, the actual person in the will, Gwendolyn, is invited to the all girl school run by one of then relatives. Each one has their own scheme to get on her good side, but that Monk keeps popping up to knock them off one by one.
Soon, the police are involved and then we find out there is more behind the scenes than we thought was possible.
This was so much fun. We get a weird artists who makes death masks. An odd handy man who always seems to be in the way. There are carrier pigeons, a white slavery ring, trap doors and squirt guns filled with sulfuric acid.
Just a great time and a great movie.
Get yours from Something Weird Video!

JIMMY THE BOY WONDER (1965)

Something Weird Video knows we are all completists in our collecting so they made sure to give us one of Herschell Gordon's Lewis' forays into children's matinee movies. He probably saw all that money that K. Gordon Murray was raking in and figured he could do that as well.
Sure, why not?
So, Jimmy on the first day of school wishes that time would stop so he wouldn't have to go. He just happens to make his wish at the exact moment that the clock at world's end is vulnerable to such a wish and everything stops. Well, except the wind. H.G. just had people freeze in place instead of freezing the film so, while they are stock still their clothes are still affected by the warm Florida breezes. Mr. Fig The Time Waster is ecstatic that time has stopped, but the magical astronomer sends his daughter Aurora to find Jimmy, armed with the pendulum of the clock at world's end to restart the clock before it is too late for all of us.
Add in a few musical numbers and a point in the film where Aurora tells Jimmy a story of a previous child who attempted this and we get a imported cartoon with a modified soundtrack to match the live action shenanigans.
Question though; how often does this damned clock do this so that we have two kids already risking life and limb to make amends for their foolish wishes? Seems they could make sure that doesn't happen so often.
Mr. Fig is hilarious and chews the scenery for all it's worth. Aurora is squeezed into a dress that leaves little to the imagination and the kid they got playing Jimmy did an adequate job.
Honestly, I loved every minute of it and I was really excited to see The Coral Castle in it.

SHAMELESS PLUG

I have a series of novellas called The Monster Killer and Volume 2 The Skunk Ape Skirmish has The Coral Castle in it. Click the book cover if you're interested.


CLICK HERE!

CRAZY WILD AND CRAZY (1965)

Something Weird Video graces us with what might be one of the oddest flicks in their massive selection of pretty odd flicks. We get a camera man checking the film that he has recently shot. We get a lot of naked girls that way with a pretty minimal plot. I got it for no other reason than it has Gigi Darlene in it. Pretty sure it's just left over shots that didn't make it into Nudes on Tiger Reef. Since it's the same nudist camp and she has the same white headband on. That's okay with me, but some of these shots with spinning and flipping and weird effects can be a little disorienting at times.
Like I said...pretty odd

MISS NYMPHET'S ZAP IN (1970)

Something Weird Video does great things for those of us obsessed with film. Herschell Gordon Lewis is mostly known for his gore flicks like Blood Feast and Two Thousand Maniacs. This is nothing more than sketch comedy. It's Laugh In with jokes just as terrible, but wall to wall nudity makes it go down a lot easier. It's plain silly. Nothing lese describes it, but it does make for a great background movie to play in the backgroun dof your next party after the plague leaves us.

IT'S HOT ON SIN ISLAND (1964)

When you start with a couple of fellas trying to scrape up the cash to finish paying for their boat and one of them is Pauly Dash from one of my favorite Something Weird Video releases THE HOT PEARL SNATCH, we are off to a good start. Throw in five nudie cuties and a plot concerning counterfeiters trying to make a quick getaway with a briefcase full of phoney money and you have a pretty busy entry in the sub genre of the nudie cutie. This is a fun flick and I really enjoyed it.

50,000 B.C. (Before Clothing) (1963)

Again, if you think this sounds like the movie for you just hop on over to Something Weird Video

So, Charlie is an ex Burlesque comedian who now works for the sanitation department because his nagging wife got him out of the business and into the sewers. We know he's an old burlesque performer because he reminisces about a couple of his skits with his dog while he works in the sewers. He actually never really goes down the manhole to do anything, but that sounds typical for a city worker, right?
Anyway, he has a crazy German neighbor who is working on a time machine so people can go back to a time they prefer instead of modern times that everyone hates. I get it, living in a crappy little trailer park in Pismo Beach would be far from ideal.
Charlie is off to the Sanitation Workers Ball but first needs to get fitted for a tuxedo. The shifty tailor fits him with one a little big and a stove pipe top hat that used to belong to Abraham Lincoln and explodes if you whistle Dixie.
Charlie has too much to drink at the ball. Let's stop for a minute at the 'Ball' It's just Charlie dancing around by himself and drinking copious amounts of liquor. At no time do we see another person at this ball.
Anyway, he decides to sleep it off in his neighbors taxi which is the aforementioned time machine. Soon, Charlie is hurtling through time and we see snippets of the Civil War and Cleopatra's Egypt. Then we are in caveman times and there is a severe lack of clothing going around. Soon, Charlie finds himself in love with Zelda (Gigi Darlene just as adorable as ever, with a French accent for some reason). Fighting a giant caveman (Eddie Carmel who most people would associate as the monster from the closet in The Brain That Wouldn't Die) and did we mention the naked ladies? Yeah, there's a lot of them.
The print is rough, but the color is still rich and it's just a silly burlesque style of movie. Lots of bad jokes and pretty girls. Charlie Robinson as the lead does a great job mugging for the camera. Gigi Darlene is the reason I bought this and she looks amazing in the film.
This one is just a lot of fun.

THE MAGIC SERPENT (1966)

As always I am currently reviewing many films that I got from Something Weird Video. If any of these look cool to you and you want to get a copy follow the link and type the name of the movie in the search bar.
So, a Japanese lord is attacked by his closest companions and murdered. His son manages to escape, but the bad guy has a shape shifter working for him so the shape shifter chases him as a giant serpent, but a giant eagle claws the beast which causes a geyser of blood to erupt from the serpent and the eagle saves the boy who grows up under the tutelage of a sorcerer who shows him all of his tricks.\
Yeah, this is like the first five minutes of the movie and this is a kids movie. It was on TV perpetually back in the day.
You get ninjas and a fire breathing toad monster. A giant spider that shoots fire extinguisher foam. The serpent shoots geysers of water. Add in a mysterious girl searching for her father and the weirdest scene ever where a ninja with a boomerang sword (yes, I said boomerang sword) cuts off our heroes head. Nothing to worry about, he's fine. His head mocks the ninja while his body ties up the ninja to question him. Of course the ninja chews off his own tongue and swallows it, killing him instantly.
Did I mention this was a kids movie?
Anyway, The Magic Serpent is nothing but insane action for its entire run time. Just when you think you've figured out what's going to happen next you get a fire breathing toad monster. And there's even a scene where our hero flies to the battle on a cloud that gave me Dragonball Z flashbacks, but was probably just influenced by Journey to the West, at least that's what my youngest kid tells me.
Anyway, The Magic Serpent is a fun filled throwback to when kiddie films were literally insane.

DEATH IS NIMBLE, DEATH IS QUICK 1966

I am currently reviewing my collection from Something Weird Video. I have added a link to anytime you see the words Something Weird Video you can click on it and it will take you to Something Weird Video. 

 

Haven't bought a huge amount of spy flicks from Something Weird Video, but this one looked interesting so I thought; why not?
So we have private eye super adventure guy Joe (Tony Kendall) who has been called in to protect a rich girl. Add in Captain Rowland (Brad Harris) who is being asked to help out because there are a series of murders caused by Karate.
I had no idea there were six of these. I found three other ones on the Something Weird Video site. I may need to track them all down because this was a great movie. Full of action, chases, spy gadgets, beautiful women. Hell, they try to kill Joe with a shower full of cell destroying bacteria right off the bat! There's a mad scientist who wants to destroy the world and has a huge underground lab to do just that.
There is no real down time in this movie. It just keeps going and going and going. There's this cool trimaran on Death Lake that looks like something out of Thunderbirds. Everyone stops for a drink or a cigarette every five minutes. The chemistry between Kendall and Harris is fun to watch. Tony Kendall rocks a magnificent hairstyle throughout then film that doesn't budge even when a whole house explodes.
This was a lot of fun and now I must add the other ones available to my next Something Weird Video order.

CORONA ZOMBIES 2020

Sure, the whole idea seems tasteless, but what the Hell. I was actually a little excited to see it.
Then I watched it.
Let's run down the good and the bad shall we?
It's only 54 minutes long. That's a definite win. Of course the new footage in the film is only like five minutes of footage. The rest of it is overdubbed scenes from Hell of the Living Dead and Zombies Vs Strippers. They really only use the ZVS footage to guarantee boobs.
The overdubbed scenes from Hell of the Living Dead are very funny and nothing is taboo. Nothing. Watch it and you'll see.
For the new footage we have Barbie (Cody Renee Cameron) who comes home to find out that the Corona virus is making zombies and she forgot to get toilet paper. She gets a call from her friend Kendra (Robin Sydney, pretty much the only reason to watch a lot of Full Moon's films so, of course, she's just on the phone here. What the literal Hell, Charlie?) Also, if you're going to have the blonde bimbo get in the fucking shower, maybe shoot higher up so we can't tell that she has left her shirt and bra on. I mean, what the fuck? We round things out with Russell Coker as the Corona Zombie. He's the only one wearing a face shield in the movie.
Corona Zombies is a clever blend of old movie footage, a sprinkle of new, utterly worthless footage and some news footage to give it a sense of reality and emergency.
Finally, if you're gonna hype this thing so much that the site crashes, maybe plan better in the future. I think I might just not renew my subscription and subscribe to Troma NOW! instead.
Fucking Full Moon...

COTTON PICKIN' CHICKEN PICKERS

 So, Darby (Dell Reeves and Jerry (Hugh X. Lewis) are sneaking aboard a train to California. You know this isn't going to be a normal movie when a guy sits up in the train car and plays the duo a tune on his guitar. Yup, it's a musical. They pass a chicken farm and get caught trying to grab a chicken to eat. Pretty soon they are off to jail and the judge sentences them to sixty days hard labor. They escape and head into the Swamp Of No Return so the cops call out the helicopter pilot, none other than Mel Tillis who sings a song for us while he flies and does not stutter once in this movie.
It's a combination of moonshine movie, country western musical and hillbilly comedy all rolled in to one. In other words; a pretty good time.
One thing stuck out for me though. Cousin Elwood (Robert V. Barron) looked a lot like Mike Vraney of Something Weird Video to me. Let me show you.

Maybe it's just me, but they looked enough alike to me. Of course I've never seen Vraney with a beard. Barron is most famous with a beard and his portrayal of Abraham Lincoln in Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure.

It's a fun flick if you like this kind of thing. I had a great time and Mel Tillis had the best line when he said that an alligator ate one of his brothers. Someone asked, which one? And he said; Beats me I can't tell one alligator from another. Just hilarious.

NUDES ON TIGER REEF (1965)

I would have to blame Doris Wishman's film Bad Girl's Go To Hell for my mild Gigi Darlene obsession. Since then I have been lucky to find many of them at Something Weird Video. I am a huge fan of the standard nudist camp film. It's fun to see how they avoid the things you can't show more than what you can't Girls can be seen except for their pubic region, front and back. Same goes for the men. Lots of people with strategically placed towels, beach balls, trays of drinks. you get the idea. And, if you can get the thinnest of plots to go along with it all the better.

In this one we have Sande (Sande N. Johnsen) telling his Broadway star, Nadja (Nadja Swensen) that he will be too busy on the off season to make a film. What he really is doing is going to visit the nudist camp he frequents every summer. The owner of the nudist camp asks him if he wants to shoot a documentary for him about the camp. Sande isn't sure about it, but the owner explains that there is a star there that would be happy to lend her talents to the movie.

Yup, it's Nadja. After a hot minute of embarrassment they decide to go for it and shoot a documentary about life at a nudist camp. There is lots of posing and activities, even scuba diving that becomes the star of the film. I was glad to see Gigi Darlene, the only reason I bought this movie in a lot of the film. And in color to boot!    

It's a nudist camp movie so some scenes seem to go on forever. There is zero live dialogue, just a narrator for the events that unfold in front of the camera. The solution to the male frontal nudity was speedos. Sande looked like he got the wrong size as he get his hairy ass crack anytime we see him. Luckily it's not often.
In this new age of restoring films to their former glory, I would love to see this get that treatment. The colors are washed out in the print, reasonably so for an older piece of cinema, but can you imagine the blues of the ocean and the deep, rich greens of the foliage? I can and it would be magnificent. Wishful thinking I'm afraid, but you never know.

I recently got a deal over at Something Weird Video and bought like 30 DVDs. I think it's time to bring back reviews to Divine Exploitation on a regular basis. 

Be back soon with another oddity from the vaults.

  

SUPER NATURAL; The Final Season

Being a huge Supernatural fan I was sad when they announced that this would be the final season. I was also excited to see what kind of deep cuts we would get as the final twenty episodes revealed themselves.
After watching Episode 9, I think that not only have I ceased to care a lot about this show, but I just want it over. I know for a fact that I will be unhappy with the ending so, let's just get this done. It should be a power house of a season. The Boys VS Chuck in a no holds barred battle for the fate of the planet.
Instead, it just feels like a weaker season of the show overall. They only bring back old characters to knock them off or treat them as ineffectual.
Just end it already folks.
And, a happy ending would be nice.

HOT SPLICES by Mike Watt

Mike Watt is someone I have known for many, many years. I see him a minimum of twice a year at Cinema Wasteland. I have watched all of his movies and read almost all of his books. I know what you're thinking; well, this is just one of Mike's buddies so he'll write this glowing praise for this book.
Well, I have lots of friends who produce art and if I don't like it, I will let them know about it.This has never happened with anything that has been created by Mike Watt, in my opinion. The Resurrection Game is one of my favorite zombie movies that is not really a zombie movie. Abattoir (a.k.a. A Feast of Flesh) is one of the best vampire movies made in a long time.
Now we get Hot Splices. A film that maniacally embraces film as a religion, as a way of life, and, in this novel, a drug that actually immerses you in film in a way never considered before. See, movie junkies, like myself, we are fascinated by the images flickering across the screen. As a child you absorb it as a form of altered reality and it either sucks you in or it's just a movie to you. Depends on how the neurons fire I suppose. I remember as a child thinking that dream sequences were the easiest thing to film. They just found a way in Hollywood to record your dreams. Pretty cool, right? Then as film junkies get older they look for that thing that fires your neurons in a new and different way. The films of David Cronenberg or David Lynch immediately come to  mind. Alex Cox's Repo Man. Slava Tsukerman's Liquid Sky. Pretty much anything by Andy Milligan or Jess Franco.
But that's really my personal path.  
Mike Watt takes it to the next level with a movie drug; 
It's called Flixing.
Flixing is the main thrust of this book. It deals with people being able to experience a film by putting actual frames of film in their mouth and letting the emulsion dissolve. It is a fictional form of recreational drug use. I call it a drug because it does involve the ingestion of a substance that causes unnatural things to happen to your sense of perception. To those of us whose psyches as I mentioned before are directly molded by film, this takes it to another level. One that like all drugs have a dangerous side effect. Overdosing can cause physical cuts on your skin as if it was sliced open by a thing slice of celluoid.
Hot Splices also deals with  a legendary series of insane films that when combined in the proper order cause horrible, violent things to occur. But, as any movie junkie can tell you, if it was meant to be watched you should absolutely watch it. Right? Isn't it the vision of the director, baring his soul for all to see? 
But, what if the director is a madman who is attempting to do nothing more than rain chaos and death upon humanity? Is it still important enough, as a movie junkie, to watch it? Hot Splices addresses, in broad strokes, the very answer to that question. 
There are people who watch movies. There are people that experience movies. Some become obsessed with them. There are some that are considered classics regardless of genre. In Hot Splices you see what an obsession with film can cause if taken to the nth degree.
If I were to compare this to anything it would most likely be the work of Phillip K. Dick run through a David Cronenberg filter. Both men created art that is so dense. Every page or frame filled with so many thought provoking things. Author Watt brings the same density to this book and it captures you from the onset and forces you, much like a film watched in one sitting, to get to the end credits. Watt creates a living breathing alternate universe with its own pantheon of Gods of Celluoid ruled over by the majestic being Cinemagog. The passages of normality in the book creep into the edges of your brain and suck you in to accept the bizarre aspects of the novel until you realize that have been led into a place where film is all.
I read this in one setting needing to reach the end credits to experience it as it was intended. Hot Splices could, quite possibly, be the most cinematic book I have ever read.
The back of the book has three short stories that intertwine into the narrative, by referencing things that happened in the main novel. The one about actress Angel St. Satan was the saddest and my favorite.
Do you love movies? Do you love to discuss film with others? Do you think you know a lot about film? Then Hot Splices will show you wonders you could never have imagined in the world of celluloid.
Plus, it is creepy and scary.
Always a great combination

Get yours here;

HOT SPLICES by Mike Watt