3 DEV ADAM

3 DEV ADAM, or 3 Mighty Men, as the translation would go, is an odd film to put it mildly. It deals with a smuggling ring led by Spider-Man who goes around obtaining priceless statues and killing the people who own them. He has a certain penchant for killing people while they shower. Kind of makes sense. People are at their lowest defense when they are in the shower.



You know that you are in for weird when the movie opens with Spider-Man killing a woman with a boat motor shoved into her face.
Luckily, Santo (yes, the wrestler) and Captain America are here to save the day and bring the evil Spider-Man to justice.
What's that? This doesn't sound like anything you have heard of before? That's because we have delved into the land of Turkish Cinema with 3 Dev Adam and the normal rules do not apply.




On the surface it's a decent action flick with lots of fight scenes and chases. We get a diabolical death trap when a man has his face chewed off by Guinea Pigs (?!?!)
In this flick, Captain America and Santo are played by two handsome Turkish gentlemen who drink and smoke, because that's what you did back in the day. Sure, the costumes are second rate and half the time I couldn't tell you what in the name of all that is Holy is going on, but it's a fun time. Looking like it was edited with a rusty chainsaw, the movie realizes that it has one thing going for it. Momentum. The fight scenes are plentiful, a little cheesy,but it was 1973 and it takes place in Turkey! Give them some slack.
The print I watched was horrible, but I have been informed that that is as good as it's going to get.
A definite slice of Turkish cinema and makes me want to seek out more of the same. Wish me luck and check this one out for yourself.

Duke Mitchell's The Executioner (1978)

The first time I was exposed to the insane trailer for this flick was as an extra on the new release of I DRINK YOUR BLOOD (1970). I knew that I would need to watch this flick sooner than later.
Yesterday was the time and I stayed up way past my bedtime, mesmerized by this low rent vision of one man, Duke Mitchell.
Duke wrote it, produced it, directed it and composed the music for it. To make sure it was perfect he also starred in the film as a crazy, power mad Sicilian who defies his deportation and returns to Los Angeles. His plan is to take over the bookies and the black pimps in town to gain power.
In the process he goes up against the mob and starts wreaking bloody havoc wherever he goes.



This film is a slice of time. It takes place in the time that it was filmed. Nothing tries to hide that fact. Consider it a time capsule of clothes, buildings and the attitude of it's people. To show it today would cause a riot as it is very proud in it's unPC behavior. This is what a gangster flick should be like. Reality based more than anything else out there. The grainy quality of the print and the use of a lot of hand held camera work makes this almost have a documentary feel to it. You can tell that Duke Mitchell took great pains to make his vision a reality.




There are some truly jaw dropping moments in the film. The opening credits with a wholesale slaughter, the bomb at the huge funeral and I caught that Duke's character could always smell out a fellow Italian and would let them make the sign of the cross before he shot them in the face. The whole film reeks of something real.
If you think you are a true fan of the gangster film, then this is a film for you to see. find it and you will not be sorry.
I'm not.
I gotta go!

UPDATE! My friend Holger, who's opinion I value greatly, suggested that I link the trailer of the film to this site. I got a better idea, Holger. Here's the trailer;

THE HOUSE OF THE DEAD (1978)

I know, I know. You're all thinking I'm referring to that Uwe Boll thing that everyone loathed when it first came out. To make it clear, I actually liked the flick for what it was. And the flick we're discussing here is not that movie. I mean, come on! Look at the date!
This flick has had some different titles;
ALIEN ZONE
LAST STOP ON 13TH ST.
ZONE OF THE DEAD
I would have picked the last one. Kind of works for what we have here. What we have here is an anthology film. Stop your damned groaning out there! This is filmed entirely in Oklahoma. How many horror flicks have been made in Oklahoma? Well, I don't know either.
Let's proceed with the summary.
Talmudge (John ericson) is having an affair with Marie. Who Marie is isn't important since the scene is pitch black and we never really see the woman. Anyway, he gets his and is off in a cab back to hotel where he's attending a convention.
The cab lets him out in the wrong place and he soon finds himself in the company of an unnamed gentleman who we will refer to as The Mortician (Ivor Francis.)
The Mortician wants to show Talmudge his work and it seems that every coffin comes with a story. We have our framing device folks!



The first one has a woman who is a teacher and hates children. Soon, bizarre things happen at her house while she attempts to go about her nightly routine. What could it be? Do we care? No, not really. This one seems lackluster and has no real reason to do what it does. Not enough information is given.
Next up is a man with a penchant for taking pictures. Movies, actually of him strangling and killing women. This one is shorter and less logical than the first one. No real beginning or end, just a snippet.



The third one of the four is probably the best of the bunch with two rival criminologists competed for best one in the world. I kind of saw how this one was going, but it's the longest and has the most satisfying feel of the bunch.
The last one shows us what happens if you treat people like crap. Again, not enough, but I got it.



I also got where this was going to end when The Mortician tells Talmudge that he has been waiting for him. No, he's not dead like another famous anthology, but the evil always gets its comeuppance in flicks like this.
This was an alright flick. It clocked in at 76 minutes and apparently there is another version that is 100 minutes long! I imagine that this one would be much better than this and probably not get hacked to ribbons. If anyone knows where I could get this please contact me via this blog.
Also, this is another entry in my 999 challenge for the year. Two down and 79 to go. Sheesh! What have I done?



Finally, I figured out how to snap pictures for this with a program called VLC. This is something that I am very happy about.
What will be next in the 999 Challenge? Beats me. You'll know when I do.
Seeya!

NEW MARK BARANOWSKI FLICK!!!

Man, it's like wish fulfillment for me lately! A couple of weeks ago I was watching WWE RAW and my favorite female, Trish Stratus shows up. Last night I heard that Stone Cold will be back. This is great. What could make that better? Well, a new Michael Legge flick would be nice, but he's still recovering from surgery. Get well, Mike!
Level with that would be a new Mark Baranowski film. What's that, you say? Mark's working on a new flick even as we speak? And Teresa, his wife will be in it? Man, I am batting a thousand.
Here's a teaser poster for the flick.



Go to his site for it HERE.

Maybe, if it's not too late I could get a new Jay Lind flick as well?
Son Of A Gun! Jay got ahold of me and he's over in the Orient making a flick called Vampire Hunters with Brinke Stevens. This is amazing!

First Crack At The 999 Challenge.

Thanks to my good buddy Holger, I decided to embrace the idea of doing 9 different sets of nine things in the space of a year. Since my list is all entertainment based (Big Surprise!)I will report on those goings on here. This is the first salvo and it comes from the top of the list;
Movies by Jess Franco that I haven't seen;
In this case it's the 1994 Film DOWNTOWN HEAT.
Now, I have watched DOWNTOWN and two more different animals don't exist. This one plays pretty straight and the fact that it has Mike Connors in it just makes it that much better. Seems there's a guy out there poisoning people with drugs and people are overdosing and dropping like flies. A husband is trying to find his wife who had a tryst with another woman, a police detective is trying to do what's right and an American is there to extradite the head of one of the biggest drug cartels in Europe. There's action, a spattering of romance and some really twisted stuff in this little flick. The scene where the man finds his dead wife stuffed into a trunk and covered in mice was a little harrowing. The way it was lit makes the blood pop out and gives it a grainy quality that makes for a better impact. Linay Romay manages to keep her clothes on for the most part and actually, for a Franco flick, this is pretty chaste. There is one naked girl in one scene and that's it. I had to makes sure that I was watching a Franco flick!
My apologies for the crappy picture I found, but I don't do snaps of DVD's all that well so, this is all I could find.
One down and eighty more to go! Yeesh! What have I done? See you back here real soon just to keep up.

EXNTENDED WEEKEND AT THE WALTZ COMPOUND

So, there was another holiday with lots of free time, four days of it to be exact, and we watched a ton of flicks at The Compound. First up is a public service announcement;

ENDLESS ORGY FOR THE GODDESS OF PERVERSION



Look at that cover! And it's purported to be a documentary. This is going to be the most fantastic thing ever! I rented it with bated breath and couldn't wait for it to arrive. First up, it is not a documentary. That's some sort of in joke for the people who made it. Plus, all the footage can be seen in things like the opening credits of every video from Something Weird Video. So, we get retread material that any true aficionado of exploitation has seen numerous times and the 'experts' are jokes. By the way , listing one of your commentators as 'A Unregistered Sex Offender' isn't even a little bit funny.
What a freaking waste of time! Do not watch this for any reason whatsoever.



The other flick that stands out for me this weekend was the drive in classic SCHOOLGIRLS IN CHAINS. Sure, the schoolgirls in question are college age girls, which is fine as it makes the film a little less comfortable, but it shows the exploits of two brothers, Frank and John, who abduct pretty girls so that they can 'play' with them. John is the more retarded of the two so, his games tend to swerve to the more bizarre and weird, but Frank just uses the women for sex.
Their mistake is in kidnapping a lovely lady who is having an affair with her college professor. He is determined to get her back whatever the cost.
This film is fantastic to watch. The camera work is loose and inventive. There's a scene where Frank shoots an escapee in the back at close range with a shotgun. No gore to speak of, but her body hangs on a nearly invisible fence as a train thunders by and we see the whole thing through the passing train. This is one of the better films of this genre that I have seen in a very long time so I might have to seek out some more of this director's work.
Both of these films are available at Netflix and I imagine they are for sale through Amazon as well. Remember, don't watch the first one. Watch the second one repeatedly. With three commentaries on it I will be watching this one a few times to see how they managed to accomplish a sick and twisted flick like this on no budget.
Other than that we watched a lot of mainstream which I won't bore you with. Except for Pineapple Express. I thought this was a fun little stoner flick. Haven't seen one of those in a long time. And the death of Gary Cole at the end is really horrific. Fun little movie that people should definitely see.
Okay, that's it for me. I'll be back later with a review of Franco's DOWNTOWN HEAT for my 999 challenge. (Bet you thought I forgot about that, didn't ya.
I'm out!

LOOK AT WHAT I GOT!!!

We do this thing over at Eurotrash Paradise where we exchange gifts every year. Mine was from Wolfy and now I need to learn Spanish. Here's a look at the cover. Drool all you Francophiles, drool!