Check out the image above this post. Yeah, that's Mutantis and he's gonna be the cover boy of Issue 5 of Divine Exploitation. I'm hoping for an interview with the creators as well. We shall see. I'm thinking of getting rid of the numbering for which volume of Divine Exploitation this is. I think just title and issue number should be sufficient. Can't put a price tag on the darn thing because Amazon shifts that pricing around what with Prime and all.
What do you, the reader think? Yeah, that one guy who buys all of these damned things.
Anyway, Stew Miller will have an epic Mutantis drawing for the back cover. There will be reviews and stuff inside as well.
As always, if you want to contribute contact me here and we can work that out. Contributors get two copies of the zine their work appears in. Contributors retain all rights over their work and can use it any where they see fit.
To my contributors to issue 4. My apologies, Your contributor copies are going out this weekend.
I'd put a picture on this post, but I'm at work and...wait a minute, let me try something;
So Marvel has kicked off their huge experiment with bringing some of its heroes to the small screen. The first one is Daredevil and I was so excited for this. I have read Daredevil for decades. He is one of my favorite heroes.
The show is fine. All the actors do a fine job. I do find Daredevil getting beat up every episode a little beyond belief, but it is a superhero show so you take that with a grain of salt.
Everything was fine.
Then I got to episode 12.
Wait, let me post this first.
They killed Ben Urich. No good reason for it just bad writing that they try to excuse with some bull shit answer. I saw that and I was filled with rage. Why would they think a character as important as Ben Urich would be expendable?
I'm beginning to think I might not have a place in the Marvel Cinematic Universe and that makes me sad.
I love the new Marvel movies, well., okay maybe not Iron Man 3, but a lot of them are great. But, this...
Yeah, I was done when they did it.
I won't be watching the last episode of season one. I see no reason to invest in Season 2. I will have to wait and see what they ruin with Luke Cage and Iron Fist, another pair of favorites for me.
When I saw this happen my first thought, after the rage, was why haven't I already heard an outcry about this? Do people just not care? Am I the only one this upset about it?
Apparently, the answer is yes.
It still makes me a little nauseous and sad to think about it.
Makes you wonder if the unstoppable Marvel Movie Machine has committed its first grievous misstep.
We shall see.
Well, you will, I'm not watching this anymore.
Seeya.
I like reading about comic books and comic book related stuff. Two of the sites I visit the most would be Comic Book Resources and Comics Alliance.
I recently stopped reading Comics Alliance because they seem to despise anything that is done on television. The Flash, Agents of SHIELD things I really enjoy they just seem to go out of their way to slam on a weekly basis. It was just exhausting.
If you don't like a show that much why would you spend week after week writing about it? Just seems petty and mean spirited to me.
But, as I mentioned before, I do like reading about comic books and comic book related stuff.
So, I went back.
Then the Chris Sims thing happened.
I'm not going to go into it, just click the link if you need to know;
Now, I am on Valerie D’Orazio's side with this so I was glad to see that he was being forced out of Comics Alliance. Sure, it said voluntary, but no one in their right mind would come back after that right?
Chris Sims column, Ask Chris came back yesterday.
To add to the mixed messages pile, editor of Comics Alliance, Jane Asselin published this article;
Asselin has been on a righteous indignation path as of late. The problem is that while it is wrong for Renner, Evans and Whedon to make fun of a fictional character, it is alright to bully a woman until she suffers PTSD as long as you apologize for it five years later. That tells me that Renner and Evans will be forgiven in five years? Why not sooner? They did apologize right away. Shouldn't they be forgiven sooner using Asselin's logic here?
Now for a Black Widow aside;
In this case we will just deal with the Cinematic version of the character. In the three films she has been in so far, Iron Man 2, Captain America 2 and Avengers 1, we see a woman in complete control. Strapped to a chair in revealing clothing, berated by a god, hunted by the very government she is protecting, she is always in control. Sure, The Hulk makes her nervous, but I consider that intelligent thinking on her part. She is fully aware what her feminine charms bring to the table and uses them to her advantage. Her advantage. At no time are any of the men yelling at her, flirting with her, hunting her, in charge of a thing. I think the feminists that are vocal about this need to realize two things; One, Black Widow is a fictional character. Two, she doesn't need your or anyone's help.
End of the Black Widow aside.
So, I think it is time to permanently sever ties with Comics Alliance. No more visiting the site, freeing up some free time for me. Thanks Comics Alliance!
So, I pedal to and from work when the weather allows it. I am one of those maniacs that rides his bicycle in the snow so, I get a lot of bike riding in.
Yesterday was the worst.
I pedaled and it felt like I was moving through molasses. It was a rough ride. but I got to work with time to spare. It was on the way home I discovered that my Huffy was losing the crank bearings. You know the spot where the pedals go? Anyway, I made it home and knew that my trusty Huffy Cranbrook was on the way out.
Being as it is my second oldest son, Dennis' birthday this week I was without any form of cash. I got ahold of my oldest son, Seann and asked him if he could spare the cash to replace the bike. I always ride Huffy's so it was only a hundred bucks. The last one lasted close to three years and I am thinking I will rebuild the crank when I have the time. It will be a good learning experience.
In the meantime, I now have this;
Nice, huh? I took off the seat and put on my hornless seat. I attached my rear blinker light and the harness for my handlebar basket and I was good to go. Today I just rode to the bus stop and took the bus in. I didn't want a major malfunction on the way to work so I will ride it home to see how it likes that. It's a nice bike that I will try to keep in great working condition for as long as possible. It does not have kevlar tires at this point so we will have to wait and see how that is going to work out. With the idiots that break glass on the roads on the Northside I don't see them lasting long. Fortunately, I have Kevlar on both of my tires on the old bike and they are the same size.
Tim Lucas once said that to understand a Jess Franco movie you need to watch all of Jess Franco's movies.
I agree with that statement and have been pursuing that dream for decades.
I think the same could be said for Charles Band.
The man knows how to create a franchise. With titles like Trancers of which there are six and Puppet Master which I believe is up to ten, Band knows what he is doing.
I had the good fortune of meeting Charles Band when he attended Cinema Wasteland last year. He announced his Full Moon Streaming and I was hooked. I also got him to sign my Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn poster for me.
See, I am one of the fortunate ones who remember the video store. Full Moon gave me a lot of fantastic product to wade through.
And they still do.
As for Evil Bong, I was first introduced to her from the mash up flick that I purchased at the convention; Gingerdead Man versus Evil Bong. I was already familiar with Gingerdead Man because he was voiced by Gary Busey and I am a huge Busey fan so, yes I watched them. My favorite is when he traveled back to the 70's, the era of roller disco in Gingerdead Man 3: Saturday Night Cleaver.
Clever title.
When I got the streaming service I immediately went in and watched some favorites like Puppet Master and Trancers. And my real Full Moon Favorite; Doctor Mordrid.
Jeffrey Combs is the man!
Then I decided to make an effort and watched the first Evil Bong.
I liked it. Low brow pot humor. Tommy Chong. And, something I thought was interesting...no one died. Sure, it looked like they did when they were sucked into the world of the Evil Bong, but at the end everyone is fine.
Next came Evil Bong 2: King Bong, which was also funny and kept the same string of characters. My favorite is always Rabbit (Sonny Carl Davis) who I fondly remembered from Trancers 2. He got killed in that one so, not sure how he survived, but he did and he's hilarious. Evil Bong 3: The Wrath of Bong added the extra flavor of an Evil Bong from outer space.
These all work because they take place in limited spaces, either outside or in one or two sets. Keep the same actors from film to film and you have a formula. Especially, if people watching them like to smoke pot. I myself have not partaken in years, but I remember what it was like.
We throw in the aforementioned Gingerdead Man Versus Evil Bong and that brings us to the newest addition to the family;
Evil Bong 420.
Now, Rabbit has escaped from the Weed World and stole a ton of Evil Bong's special weed. He sells enough to buy a bowling alley and makes it a topless bowling alley. Of course he does,
God Bless Charles Band.
Rabbit has also invented a device called The Weed Blower that shoots thick, green clouds of primo weed that makes everyone happy and, if there are two girls standing next to each other, extremely horny.
Again, God Bless Charles Band.
Back in Weed World Evil Bong is pissed that Rabbit got away so she and Gingerdead Man make their way back to reality and the bowling alley to bring Rabbit back and let Gingerdead Man make with a little mayhem.
At a too brief running time Band manages to fill the screen with weed, boobs, references to other Full Moon films (I'm looking at you Ooga Booga) and leave us wanting for more.
There will be more, right?
There had better be more and who knows? With his streaming service Evil Bong could become a series. That would actually be pretty cool.
So, on this notorious day of 4/20 why not slip into the world of Evil Bong 420.
There are much worse ways to spend 53 minutes and this one is as funny as the rest.
Twice a year I make my way to Strongsville, Ohio for the best convention on the planet... Cinema Wasteland! For quite some time my lovely wife, Martha Waltz has been my companion on the trip and it has been a great time. We started bringing some of our children, mainly our daughters and this year my youngest, Dan, would be making his first trip with us.
The things I was most excited about were meeting Peter Spellos and Jim Wynorski. I am sad if you don't know who that is. Go look them up ya uneducated goons! Also the biggest panel of stars from George Romero's Dawn of the Dead would be in attendance. I had purchased a VHS copy of Munchie Strikes Back to have Peter and Jim sign. Yeah, I left that at home...bummer.
So, we get there and I was excited to see a movie first thing Friday at 5. MUTANTIS! I had no preconceived notions on how this was going to go and was so happy when I saw a great, laugh out loud horror comedy the likes of which I had never seen before. A great way to start the weekend.
Later there was a panel with adult film stars Long Jeanne Silver and Carter Stevens. I had purchased the big box VHS of her film to help get her there and it was already signed so I didn't feel it was necessary to have her sign it again. We picked up the one and only Henrique Couto's new film, Awkward Thanksgiving. It is always great to connect with Mr. Couto. Mike Watt and the lovely Amy Lynn Best premiered their new film, Razor Days. It reminded me of a revenge film made by Jess Franco. I assured Mike that this was a compliment coming from me.
The other film I was looking forward to was Bill Zebub's newest opus Holocaust Cannibal. I was doubly excited because Erin Brown a.k.a. Misty Mundae was going to be there.
Yeah, that didn't go so well. She had one event thing to do, introduce the movie, and she couldn't bother to wake up to do it. And when I talked to her she seemed a little...I don't know, off? Kind of a let down.
Peter Spellos, on the other hand, was awesome. We talked for quite some time and when Jim Wynorski arrived it was great! We talked about his stuff and I got a signed copy of Lost Empire. Peter signed a poster for me and I told them both that I left my VHS at home.
My son, Dan, has a web series called Dan VS. The Bus. His number one fan is Mike 'Gonzo' Specht and he was so excited to meet Dan.
A Ghastlee Ghoul's Nite At The Movies had me defending my title of 42 Questions with 42nd Street Pete. I even had a two point handicap and won by a landslide. Good times. Martha and the kids got prizes as well and all was good.
Ghastlee had been sick so I was glad to see him.
Dan was amazed at Saturday's Hardcore Wrestling Hour and I think that Toby Klein is his new hero.
My buddy Stew and his friend Dimitri also came down for the event and we decided to what we refer to as the Doormat pizza from Leonardo's. It is huge and fed all six of us. Maybe a little too well. Urf.
On Saturday we went to the Brew Kettle for lunch and Stew wanted to try a new beer they had. I had something called The Triple Pig. It was good but the meat to bread ratio was off. Too much bread for me.
I got every movie I wanted with the exception of Nathan Rumler's new flick The Chubbies. I tried to get one from him after the screening, but he was drunk and had lost his pants. Oh well.
The Day of the Dead panel was packed. So many great stories and I video taped the whole thing. As I am writing this at work I will add pictures and video links at a later date, but I think this might have been one of the best Cinema Wastelands in my years of going.
So much fun.
I don't know how this could be anything but either extremely bad or just heart breaking. Either way I see no reason to watch the thing. Yeah for saving time and money. Thanks Mr. Schwarzenegger!
