HOW THE DARK KNIGHT IS GOING TO MAKE ME THE MOST UNPOPULAR PERSON IN THE WORLD

Okay, first sentence and I want to get this out of the way. There will be spoilers throughout this review. I'm not here to stroke the Warner Brother's money machine and entice you to go watch this film. If anything, I might try to dissuade you from going. Yeah, I know, I'm already not very popular. This review should make it worse.
I want to go on the record with a few positive notes. Heath Ledger's performance as The Joker was very good. Of course, I also think that Cesar Romero's performance as the manic madman was very good. It's apples and oranges. Here's an unpopular thought though; Would people be praising this performance this much if he was still with us? It's a harsh question, but one I think needs answering. I don't think people would be all over this movie like this if Ledger was still alive.
I liked the Batman Begins flick. Very good origin and re imagining of the character. The sequel is an insult to true fans of Batman. When Joker attacks Batman with dogs and Batman kills one of the dogs I was done with the movie as a whole. So, he holds all life sacred, unless it's a dog?!? My Batman would have disabled the dog with no permanent damage. My Batman knows that it's not the dog's fault. Its the person who trained the dog.
The whole movie is long, gray and depressing. Add to this the whole Two Face thing and it doesn't really resolve anything. Batman taking the hit for Harvey Dent and making it look like Harvey is normal is crazy. Anyone looking and talking to Harvey would realize that the man has slipped into the depths of madness. Of course, the bonus for me was the scene with the reveal of Two Face. Seeing the side of Eckhart's normal face with that edge of burnt flesh made my stomach roil. I do not do well with burn effects having seen them in real life. And just that edge with what looked like a face disappearing was much worse in my imagination than the horrific vision they gave us. I don't do well with this sort of thing so I had to go out of the theater and wait for the waves of nausea to leave me. Good effects? No, what I thought I was going to see was much worse than what I was given. For the rest of the movie if I knew that Two Face was going to be on the screen I just didn't look at him. Didn't want to have to leave the theater again.
So, let's sum up the whole thing shall we? The movie is too dark. It's supposed to be a superhero movie and superheroes are supposed to be better than us and give us someone to look up to. Killing Rachel was pointless. Harvey would have become Two Face even if she had lived. I don't think she could have pulled him from that downward spiral. Batman doesn't kill dogs. He's been bitten many times and can disable a dog with no permanent damage. Read a comic book once in a while if you're going to make a movie about a comic book character. The solution of making Batman a bad guy is retarded at best. Didn't they try all this darkness and gloom with the new Superman movie? Yeah, that went over real well. Unfortunately, I will be the sole voice of reason screaming to a public that have been spoon fed the movie for over a year before it's release and are praising a performance for no other reason than the actor is dead.
Like I said, I plan on being very unpopular from here on out and that's fine. I know what I like and do not like and don't have that dictated by public opinion. I don't need to see this movie again, I don't need to see it when it comes out on DVD. I am sad that there isn't a Batman movie for my children to see this summer. They were looking forward to it. I'll just have to make sure to get Iron Man when it hits DVD. That was the true superhero movie of the summer. The Dark Knight is just self indulgent crap.
That's all I got.

I GOT ONE WORD TO SAY...

FAN-FREAKING-TASTIC!!!!!

TWO MORE FROM THE CHILLING PACK

Thought I would put up two of these since I have managed to plow through a few more. I might do one more capsule one like I did previously of stuff I have already watched, but I'm not sure.
First up we have a little black and white number where the most interesting part is that Peter Falk is in it and HE"S the bad guy! Yeah, didn't see that one coming did ya?
Anyway, he plays Nico, this cool cat that hangs out at the local speakeasy. He also runs drugs for the mob, but Nico has a problem. He's been with all these beatnik types for so long that their bohemian way of looking at life is making him into something different. It all comes together when an old man dies in front of the group at the hang out. It puts them on a death trip and it isn't long before they whack some kid delivering telegrams when he shows up at one of their parties.
They feed him a hamburger of ground glass and he's down for the count.
What Nico and the gang didn't count on was the kid's older brother who is going to find out who took out his sibling. Plus, Nico's world is coming down around his ears and it won't take much to make the whole party collapse like a house of cards.
This is a pretty good little flick and Peter Falk is awesome as he chews up the scenery in this no budget flick. This one had a bare bones story and some incredible acting. I thought it was a little odd that they could drink at the hang out. I always thought that they hung out in coffeeshops? Oh well, it still stood up better than some of the other flicks in this batch.
Like the next one for instance;



My print says it's called Slashed Dreams. I have the picture of the title card here so you can see how awful it was done. The original title was called Sunburst and that doesn't make much sense either. It's got a lot of hippie kids spouting off hippie crap and there is some stalking of one couple by rapists out i9n the woods. You can tell that they were trying to make a flick with a message and it just fails on an epic level. So, why did they call it Slashed Dreams? Because Robert Englund was in it as another hippie living in the woods spouting off more of that hippie crap. This one was a waste of time. Some of the shots are still well done, but the acting and basic storyline ruin those. If you get this set you might do well to skip this one. Or watch it really high. That might help. Yeah, but it probably won't.

HAUNTS (1977)

It is time to delve back into my 50 pack of Chilling Movies. It's been awhile, but I had some free time to put something in the old DVD player. HAUNTS is the one I picked. I was in the mood for a slasher flick and this one said that it had a guy whacking the locals with a pair of scissors. Giving the killer an A for originality, I was ready to watch.
My crap radar popped up when I saw that Aldo Ray and Cameron Mitchell were both in the flick. At least there would be some epic scenery chewing. That can always be fun.
Anyway, the leading lady, May Britt, plays Ingrid, a repressed, pious older lady that lives on a farm with her dad who is Cameron Mitchell. Seems that someone is indeed killing people with scissors.
I had to give them props as the first killer is interrupted by someone going out to the pantry for jam. The killer attacks her, but is interrupted in a second kill by the rest of the household. In formulaic slasher flicks he would have whacked the girl. The originality I spoke of early proved itself early on.
In fact the entire film is original. And confusing. I'm pretty sure there was more than one killer which made for a muddled mess, but still original. The ending is so out of left field that it isn't funny.
Cameron Mitchell gives a magnificent performance. Sweating, twitching and looking extremely uncomfortable. Aldo Ray starts out right over the top and there is nowhere else to go but up and that doesn't stop Mr. Ray.
Sure, the print is washed out and the sound is, well terrible would be a compliment, but it has it's own backwoods charm to it. I have to say that at no time does it seem to be cribbing from any other flick I have seen. I looked everywhere for pics for the flick, but only came up with one of Cameron Mitchell. It looks good though compared to the condition of the print that I have of the film.
This is one of the gem's of this box set and it makes me glad that I got it.
I'll try to do better in getting the rest of these reviewed. Since concluding one of my busier blogs I have a considerable amount of free time.

STAN WINSTON DEAD AT 62

Yeah, this sucks. That's the only real way to put this. The man gave us such wonderful creations in film. Hell, even his toys were the coolest things on the block. Now, he's gone and will be missed by all of us who used to pour over old issues of Fangoria and look at the incredible detail he brought to his work.
My favorite memory of Stan would have to be when I got the DVD of John Carpenter's The Thing. There is this huge documentary that really is nothing more than talking heads, but so full of information. Stan came on to explain his dog puppet creation and I was mesmerized the entire time he talked. Soft spoken, but knowing what he wanted to say with great eloquence. It made me appreciate the way his mind approached an effects problem and now he's gone.
I know there is a Heaven and all I can truly hope is that Stan will be there for me to see in the hereafter. My prayers and thoughts go out to his family in this most troubling of times.
Stan Winston you will be sorely missed here on Earth.

Candy Stripers (2005)

So, my wife and I were in the local Big Lots looking for a paper towel holder. Long story, don't ask. And Big Lots, always has this ton of movies on sale. This time there was a huge box of three dollar movies. Now, when they are dollar flicks I could care less and I will buy twenty of the damned things. I have a stack of them unopened at my house. So, a three dollar movie needs a little more finesse. It needs to be something that I really would watch if I'm spending the extra dollars.
Along comes the 2005 alien invasion flick, Candy Stripers.
Seems there is a spaceship crash and these two girls happen upon it. They find some dudes and they are dead as doornails so they hightail it outta there. Did I mention that one of the girls was blind? I didn't? Not important as she is really just the means that the slimy, slug like alien gets his grips into the titular characters of the film.
A few deep lesbian kisses later and we have a huge amount of possessed hot chicks who eat a lot of sweets and like to do the nasty with men so that they can cocoon them and make more alien babies.
Our leader, a lame (no, not that kind of lame. His leg got busted up earlier in the movie. Didn't mention it? Probably because it's not important.) basketball player and his buddies decide to wipe out the evil aliens. Seems that this girl that is crushing on our leading man is a diabetic and needs her insulin shots. Guess what will kill these aliens? Yup, you guessed it, insulin. Kinda stupid, but then so is alien possessed candystripers. And aren't candy stripers supposed to be young girls? While these ladies do look fabulous naked, and we do get fair share of naked, there is no way they are young enough to be a candy striper.
There are lots of plot holes like this, but where else are you going to get a hospital full of man hungry girls in skin tight nurses outfits? Plus, the gore flows pretty good. When you have a hot red head going down on a guy only to leave his crotch a bloody mess then you know you are in for a fun ride.
So, in the end, the flick has a million plot holes. Don't care. The dialogue is stilted and lame as Hell. Don't care. The plot is lifted from a million B movies as well as a little of Cronenberg's Shivers. Don't care. We get some gorgeous ladies in the altogether or prancing around in very tight hospital attire sucking on bright red lollipops. See, now we got a movie! If you love this kind of genre, the movie works at a pretty good clip. No real surprises. When you find out the quiet girl is diabetic you know that insulin will be playing a part later in the flick. You also know that she'll end up looking pretty damned hot by the end of the flick.
When my seven year old says, "Will this have a real ending or one of those, the monsters aren't dead endings?" You know that they have tried nothing new in the realm of film making and that's alright. It's good to have mindless entertainment to eat popcorn with.
And that's what Candy Stripers is. Bravo!

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY JESS!

I cannot believe I forgot that yesterday was the maestro's birthday?! Jess Franco is probably one of the biggest influences on the way I look at things. His films make me look at the world in a different way and I enjoy all of them. Anyway, here is to a fabulous birthday for Jess and to many more!
See, this never happens with Lina Romay because we have the same birthday. Oh well. I'm a slacker. Forgive me.