Tuesday, September 11, 2012

REVIEWS OF MOVIES I HAVEN'T SEEN

I do these once in a while. I look at the releases and rant or rave without having seen a frame, Well, I catch a trailer here and there so I've seen some frames, just not all frames.

Anyway...

THE MASTER






I thought River Phoenix's homely brother was a rap star or something now?? Now he's doing a thinly veiled Scientology movie?!? Yeah, this sounds like a real winner (Insert sarcasm at your leisure.)

RESIDENT EVIL: RETRIBUTION



I don;t care what anyone says. Milla Jovovich has still got it and I'm still gonna watch them. All of them. If you think this is the last one you're pretty damned stupid.

LIBERAL ARTS



The guy who places Ted in How I Met Your Mother is in a movie? And he plays a dude falling for a college student? Didn't he do this like six times in the TV series? And is he unaware that he is the most annoying person on that damned show? Yeah, gonna take a big old pass on this one, Ted.

ARBITRAGE



Richard Gere movie. PASS!

10 YEARS



That guy from the shitty GI JOE movie is is what appears to be some kind of rom-com  I have seen zero trailers for. Glad the studios feel the need to push this baby on us.

STOLEN



Nicholas Cage in an action movie on the hunt for his daughter. Okay, he's done this before with good results and we might get another chance to see Malin Akerman's boobies. I can wait for Netflix for that one. Shouldn't be more than a week, two tops.


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