SHAMELESS EXPLOITATION

I have always loved mini comics. Making them, reading them. It was recently when I was reading a book about zines that I found this unique 8 fold process to make a little comic book. To say I got carried away is an understatement. Here are some of the ones I have done to date;

Based on the podcast Tell 'Em Steve Dave. If you order one of my other mini comics, I will throw one of these in as a request. 

The only way to get one of these is to appear at one of my live shows. I do them once a month at the 411 Club in Kalamazoo Michigan. See you there.

Doug Life is my autobiographical comic. This issue my lovely wife, Martha and I went to Ann Arbor to see The Proclaimers.

This issue of Doug Life deals with my hate/hate problem of being a bike rider and stupid people who like to break glass. 

When Jess Franco passed away I decided to do a series of comics, each one dealing with one of his films. This one is an introduction and can be had for free if you order issue 2 that deals with his film WE ARE 18. 

My first attempt at a super hero comic. Yes, he's a giant K. I just finished issue 2 of this one.

I do accept trades. Ordering the Franco File is just a dollar and I throw in a freebie. Kapitan Kalamazoo is a quarter, but you need to throw in a few shekels for postage and I will throw in some freebies.

I just finished the first issue of THOR and that is also a quarter.

Paypal is dwaltz1962@yahoo.com

Thanks for reading.

MARON (2013)

I remember back in the good old days when Comedy Central showed a lot of stand up comedy. A lot of it. I got to see some of the best comedians in the world do what they did best. Marc Maron was always one of my favorites.
I recently listened to a podcast from The Nerdist and Chris Hardwick had Marc Maron on as his special guest. Coincidentally  IFC gave Maron his own television show based on his podcast, WTF? with Marc Maron. I had never listened to the podcast so I thought I would give it a listen. Yeah, it's funny.
The new show is also funny. I managed to catch the first two episodes and in the first one Marc hunts down an Internet troll to give him what for. Dave Foley is along for the ride and it is a humorous look at the subject. episode two deals with a dead possum and Dennis Leary calling Marc a pussy.
This is a funny show and I hope it doesn't go the way of many of my other favorite shows. If it does, I still have a trwasure trove of podcasts to listen to. If it works, then it's like icing on an already delicious cake.
The show is on IFC Fridays at 10, but I will never remember to watch it then so On Demand works for me.
You should watch it too.

GGRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Okay, so for many years I have ridden my bike. To work, to school, to work again. There is this wonderful bike trail that goes right to the bus stop for me to catch the bus to whisk me off to my wonderful job.
It's a shame that the people in the neighborhoods that the trail goes through are too fucking stupid to appreciate it.
There is constantly broken glass on the trail that is used my pedestrians, children, bike riders and their many and varied pets. Glass by people too fucking stupid to deserve to live near such a great bike trail.
Short of taking my time and sweeping the glass off the trails by myself, probably to be greeted by new glass shortly thereafter, I see no way to solve this problem.
There is a bike lane that also gets me there. It too is riddled with the glass of morons and idiots that feel it necessary to break glass where people move their bikes and/or feet through the streets.
Morons!
Here is what the tube I removed today looked like.
(Note: This tire had already been patched once. The Fix A Flat worked for a minute before the hole tore and released the goop.)

I know two things.
One, I will have to think of a solution to this problem.
Two, I had better never see anyone breaking glass in my presence.
I don't have the bail money sufficient to get me out of what I will do to them.
Suggestions on a solution are being taken. All will be considered.

Divine Exploitation...The Book

When I decided to do a Print On Demand book of my zine I had no idea what I had bitten off. I would put in reviews, art, interviews, something with Linnea Quigley and my long piece on Jess Franco's A Virgin Among The Living Dead. I have 112 pages done with just reviews and a few of the interviews done as well. In the end the book looks like it will be a 300 page behemoth. That works for me.

Here's the cover;

This was done by Ron Merchant back in the day of print. I have no idea where Ron is and miss him terribly. He so got the whole Divine Exploitation idea and was fearless, unafraid to offend, well everyone.

Stew Miller gave me this fantastic bit of art;

I liked this so much that it is the header for every section of the book. It has that kitchen sink feel that I always tried to achieve with Divine Exploitation. One time I wrote about Spider Man cereal. Why? I really liked it. It was like Lucky Charms without all the damned marshmallows.

Then Linc Polderman gave me what will be the back cover. A lot of people like to put words on their back covers of their books. Yeah, I don't see that happening;

I know what you're thinking; 'Doug, when will the book see release?' I have a definite answer for you. November 7th 2013. Why? Simple. In 1988, twenty five years ago I did two things. One, I made this zine that has mutated into a website. It has been an epic 25 years of fun. The other thing? My oldest son, Seann will be 25 on that date. Really the better of the two things I created. 

So, as it gets closer to a release date I will have prices locked down and a page count. I have plenty of time to get it done. Five months for what is essentially a big, pretty reprint book. I will have signed copies available for anyone who asks at no additional cost. 

Stick around this should be fun.

P.S. This May we are shooting our second film, ATTACK OF THE KILLER CYBORGS FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE.  Wheeeeee!

BABYSITTER MASSACRE 2013

The newest film by Henrique Couto goes back to the very roots of 80's slasher/splatter films. This is a time frame that is near and dear to my heart so, if it is done badly I tend to release my fury upon those responsible.
That being said to preface this review, Mr. Couto may now breathe easy.
The basic premise is of a group of girls that put together a babysitters club when they were younger. One, extremely cold Halloween night all of the girls decided it was too cold to trick or treat. Except Bianca (Marylee Osborne). She wanted to go out so her friend went with her. Then a white masked killer took her friend and Bianca ran for her life.
Seven years later and she is now been ostracized by the group, except for Angela (Erin R. Ryan). It is Halloween and they are planning a reunion of the babysitters club.
Someone else is also planning a little reunion.
The white faced killer from seven years ago is back.
No one is safe.
There are two kinds of slasher films. The basic, unstoppable killer type and the one that is more human. The one that has some God awful motive in the twisted sense of the word. Those are fun because you can try and guess who the killer is.
I did, but not until I was supposed to. Well done, Mr. Couto.
The gore set pieces are incredible to watch. I was most fond of the boiling water on the head that resulted in some wicked bubbly skin effect. It looked seamless to me and having been a burn victim, pretty spot on. Fingernail pulling always makes me squirm and it was at this point that I realized that the foley work was excellent. Not too big of a surprise as Mr. Couto's years of experience as a musician would lend itself well to this particular aspect of film making.
We drove 600 miles round trip to see this movie. We always go see Henrique's world premieres. It's just a thing that is done at The Waltz Compound. And we have yet to be disappointed.
Oh, and the most important part of a slasher movie is two fold; Boobs and Blood. All I can say is that Mr. Couto embraced the formula and both of these requirements were met with spectacular results.
Really.

My final plea with Henrique would be for him to visit another genre that worked so well in the 80's. Action films. Marylee Osborne would be the perfect star for a cheeseball action flick and it would be so very, very cool.

CINEMA WASTELAND APRIL 2013 REPORT

Our weekend started with a little drama as I was under the idea that I had prepaid for thee room. Their website sure made it seem that way to me. Yeah, I was wrong. And Super 8 were jack holes about the entire thing. Add that the security thingie on the door was snapped off and the sink was clogged with coffee grounds and that we had to move rooms, made for a foul taste in my mouth.
We decided to not let this bother us and went in  search of food. We discovered a little out of the way place called S&M Delicatessen where we split a spinach feta pie and a pepperoni calzone that were both out of this world. Just amazing. And the hummus that came with the pie was delicious.

After that we went to check out the collection of movie trailers in movie room 2. It was Prevues From Hell 2 and my buddy Dan Taylor is in it so that was a good way to start the day.
We didn't stray too far and watched a new film SHE DEVILS A GO GO. Hot Carl was the funniest part of the movie and it was a lot of fun.

After that we were off to Movie Room 1 where Jamie Rose, Chris Lemmon and director Jeff Lieberman discussed the classic JUST BEFORE DAWN. Chris Lemmon was very funny. Unfortunately, the problem with his microphone seemed to haunt the entire show. I love my Wasteland and after 23 shows will always go, but the microphone cutting out started to become annoying. Chris Lemmon made it fun though.

After that Jack Sholder introduced his movie, THE HIDDEN and his talk was great. Unfortunately, my camera cut out and I didn't get all of the video I would have wanted. That and he had the crappy microphone.
That did it for us for the night we went back to the room for pizza. Unfortunately, Leonardo's didn't answer their phone so we got Domino's. Still good pizza for late night.
 There was also much visiting with people in the dealer rooms that day.
The next morning Martha took her traditional 'Epic Shower' which lasts forever while I went back to the dealer room to say hello to many people who I won't name drop here.
Then it was time for one of my favorite times at Wasteland. 42nd Street Pete's Hardcore Wrestling Hour. My God that stuff is brutal. Especially the razor blade board match where this poor bastard got suplexed onto the board. Gross! Yet entertaining.
Later in the afternoon it was time for the main event, for me anyway.
A showing of SLUMBER PARTY MASSACRE and afterwards a panel with Debra De Liso, Joe Johnson, Brinke Stevens and killer Michael Villella. They were fantastic and I could have listened to them all day. Michael is a method actor and he decided to use an animalistic approach to his behavior in the film. Which animal you might ask? Peacock. watch it again, it works. And his famous 'I Love You' line? Yeah, he made that up. Such a good time.

Aftre that it was my other favorite thing at Wasteland. 42nd Street Pete's Grindhouse. Pete and Wasteland promoter, Ken Kish talk about the classic days of Wasteland. Their special guest was stunt man extraordinaire, Gary Kent. Having read Gary's book Shadows & Light: Journeys with Outlaws in Revolutionary Hollywood I was excited to meet him in person. It was one of the best Grindhouse panels of all time. I even got to have my picture taken with Gary and buy his awesome movie, The Pyramid, which I shall review here at a later date.

Then it was time to break for dinner before we went to see Kelli Maroney introduce Chopping Mall
. It is amazing how she looks the same. I was a little mad at people with fat heads who kept getting in the camera range, but I did get the audio for all of her talk so I was happy about that.
And then it was time for the ultimate part of Wasteland.
A. GHASTLEE GHOUL'S NITE AT THE MOVIES!!!!!!! (Insert applause here)
We get a performance by Ghastlee's band, Splattertude. There are games and trivia. I even got a cool t shirt for Dandelion out of Lou's underpants! Always a lot of fun.
Then another tradition is to watch whatever movie Bill Zebub has brought with him to Wasteland. JESUS, DAUGHTER OF GOD did not disappoint. Part three of his unoffical Jesus trilogy, this one deals with a burlesque stripper quantum leaping into the body of Christ. Sex, hijinks, aikido battles and really cool slow motion fly by in the next 90 minutes and  make for a really funny film.
Then it was time for sleepy.
The next morning we slept a little late so no free breakfast for us. Instead we feasted at Denny's and then came back to get a few more souvenirs, say goodbyes and watch JUST BEFORE DAWN as a last hurrah to another excellent wasteland.
And, if that wasn't enough, we then winged our way to nearby Oberlin to have food with the awesome Tim Paxton and his sister Heather and lady friend Cara Romano. We went to a cool place called The Feve and I got their burger they named after themselves. They were huge. We talked about, well everything and then it was time to wing our way home to the drab city of Kalamazoo until October when we shall again trek to the most magical place in the world...
CINEMA WASTELAND!!

JESUS, THE DAUGHTER OF GOD (2012)

I have liked Bill Zebub movies for a very long time. My first exposure to him was the original THE WORST HORROR MOVIE EVER MADE. He hates that I still own my copy. Then along came the only convention to go to. Cinema Wasteland. Bill Zebub is always there; showing his films and selling his wares. Before you take me for a blind fan, last year he showed his newest film, DISGRUNTLED EMPLOYEE. Yeah, I went back to my motel room and slept. I didn't care for it.
But, his Christ movies always entertain me. ZOMBIE CHRIST was epically funny. JESUS, TOTAL DOUCHEBAG also is quite entertaining. Now, using a little quantum mechanics, the basic premise of the TV show, Quantum Leap and a lot of slow motion camera work, JESUS, DAUGHTER OF GOD, is born!
The basic premise has a Go Go dancer (Scarlett Storm) stumble on a Quantum Physicist (Bill Zebub) who has created a device that puts her back in time into the actual form of Jesus.
Her one, true disciple, Peter (Also, Bill Zebub) sticks by her through thick and thin as she uses her new found abilities to change the course of history and try to make the world a better place.
This movie is hilarious. Laugh out loud funny. The female lead is so cute and her delivery makes me giggle. Just a great performance. Bill is always good in his movies and, while his slow motion battles are unflattering to every female figure, it still works.
 think the Bill Zebub deserves a second, mre in depth look now that we have the third film. I see that coming in the future.
Meanwhile, I leave you with this;