Thursday, April 20, 2017

EVIL BONG 666 (2017)

Evil Bong is back and Lucy Furr has reopened the shop on Venice Beach. She worships Satan and when she kills a stoner it opens a very vagina looking gateway from Sexy Hell and EeBee has returned to the land of the living. All Lucy Furr wants is to get to Hell and EeBee is still fixated on world domination through weed. With GingerDead Man out to kill everyone EeBee and Rabbit join forces to create GingerWeed Man. A combination of GingerDead Man and some potent weed to go to Sexy Hell and challenge Lord BeezleBuzz to a bake off and I do not mean cookies.
I have watched all of these. From the first one that was smart enough to get Tommy Chong in the flick to recent entries like the cleverly named Evil Bong 420 and Evil Bong High Five. They are full of green screen effects, people smoking some serious bud and just being downright silly. This one is no exception and it is always nice to see Sonny Carl Davis as Rabbit once again. The man is always a delight. My one criticism is that there was no Larnell (John PAtrick Jordan). While Rabbit is always the driving comedic force in the films I always felt that Larnell was the heart of the films. To not have him in this entry seems like a misstep to me.
I love the Alex Maxson who does the voice of Gingerdead Man. He channels Gary Busey so well and every time he talks I just laugh out loud. I look at these as more than annual episodes of a series than movies.
For silly fun you can do worse than Evil Bong 666. If you subscribe to HULU you can even watch it for free.

Saturday, April 15, 2017

Why I won't be watching Mystery Science Theater 3000's new season.

We have all known about this new season for a while. Everyone was super excited, including me. That was until I was told that Joel Hodgson would not be the host of the show. My interest level dropped immediately. I do like Patton Oswalt and Felicia Day. But, who was going to be the host?
Jonah Ray from The Nerdist.
Yeah, I don't like Jonah any time I have seen him or heard him. So, I think this is going to go badly for me.
I started to nit pick the reasons I didn't like the new show.
Then it dawned on me.
Why bother?
Of the original run I only liked Joel. I stuck around because TVs Frank was on, but when he left I was done. Sure, Dr. Forrester was fine, but he needed someone to bounce stuff off of.
I loathed Pearl.
I watched when they first came out and have fond memories of friends and family laughing out loud watching the show.
YouTube has a channel that plays every episode and they look pretty good. Makes me feel like I'm circulating the tapes. I put it on to sleep to almost every night.
So, I'm glad that they have brought MST3K to a new generation of people. When I watched the original I thought it was great.
I have plenty of shows to watch now that I really enjoy and see no reason to watch something that is trying to be what was once one of my favorite shows that I still enjoy to this day.

Movie Sign Off.

P.S. Yeah, also not watching the new Prison Break either. I buried Michael Scofield years ago.

Thursday, January 12, 2017


Those titles may look familiar to you and you really couldn't be more wrong. I love all the free channels on my ROKU and the lovely Martha Waltz discovered one for me a while ago called GRINDHOUSE GRIT. I do loves me some Grindhouse flicks and the badder the better.

Image result for monstrosity 2007

At first I thought MONSTROSITY might be the Andy Milligan flick, but the 2007 date told me otherwise. Andy had been dead for a while.
In this one we have a carnival freak named Monstrosity who gets free from his master, kills a bunch of people and makes a beeline for a nearby factory where he kills the owner's son and his woman. He cuts her head off and then...nothing.
Ten years pass and someone else has bought he factory and the town legend is that Monstrosity died in a swamp near the factory.
Anyone else buying this? Nope, me neither.
So a group of low life drug dealers and some girls decide to break in, party and have some wild sex. What they don;t know is the man who bought the factory has just discovered millions of dollars in gold and cash, left by the former owner. He needs help getting it out of there so he enlists the drug dealers to help load it up. Each of them will get a cool million.
But, something is killing them. Is it the Monstrosity?
Or is it something worse?
Okay, sure the acting in this thing is dreadful and just one pair of lopsided titties is a little disappointing in the nudity department, but this wasn't that bad. It had a couple of nice twists and turns and the whole concept has been done a million times before.
But, it was a fun little time waster.

This was the only picture on the internet of this movie. Sad.

Then I decided to see something called INTO THE WOODS. It said it was a camping slasher flick and it had a running time of an hour and 18 minutes so it seemed like a safe bet. Some crazy dude ties up his wife and makes his two boys watch. He is sent to prison and the boys go into foster care. It's worth noting that crazy dad is also crazy drug dealer with a sword in the other movie. I had no idea that the films had any common denominator. Lucky I guess.
A group of kids go camping and it doesn't take long before the body count starts to go up. But, who's doing the killing? Have the boys become crazed killers? Are they among the group and no one knows it?
This seems like a lot of questions and the ending is pretty telegraphed.As camper slasher flicks go it ranks down at the bottom. They did use a lot of local music in their movie which is always a good thing, but the nudity is non existent and that is the death kiss of any slasher flick. Guys, if you're going to make a slasher flick you have to make sure at least one of your girlfriends is going to show off something. Otherwise, people like me are going to call you movie out for what it is; amateurish and crap.
I did laugh when I saw all the MySpace urls for the bands. There was even a geocities site. I had no idea that was even a thing anymore.

Monstrosity was pretty good though.

I like to put up trailers for flicks so people can get a taste of the punishment I put myself through. Yeah, neither of these had anything. Even their official sites were taken down. If you have a ROKU the channel is Grindhouse Grit and you can watch it an many others for free.

Free...I still felt like I was overcharged.

Tuesday, January 3, 2017


SO, that year sucked, eh? I managed to release six issues of Divine Exploitation before I realized that a schedule is the last thing my little zine needs. I plan on two issues a year and that should be fine for me.
In other writing news I did write two books;
THOU SHALT DIE inspired by a Linc Polderman drawing. It's my first attempt at a first person, hard boiled crime book. I set a minimum word count of 30K and managed to beat that.
KILLER F@#KING SQUIRRELS managed to get done before the end of the year and just went up for sale at Create Space. It should be easy to find. There are no other books with that title. I checked.
Finally, I have read comic book sites for a long time and they just manage to piss me off for one reason or another. I think the biggest problem in comics sites is that everyone is complaining about stuff.
I am guilty of this as well. I have things that tick me off about the current state of comics. Ask me about Captain America sometime.
But there is also so much great stuff going on. If you told me I would own every issue of Jem and The Holograms I would have called you crazy, but I do. Aquaman is one of my favorite comic series out right now. It's a fun time in the world of comics.
So, here's what's gonna happen here.
I buy my comics every two weeks. I get paid and head for the comic book store. I will then read said comics and review them here.
But here's the catch. I'm reviewing them in the sense of what I like. Not some weird standard review thingie that a lot of the sites seem to embrace. Like it, love it, hate it, I will be honest and upfront with each comic that I buy. I think this is a more honest type of reviewing because I'm not getting any freebies here. I pay for everything I read.
I'll also put up covers of the comics I review just to make sure everyone knows what I'm referring to.
In addition 2017 will see me working on my book concerning the films of The Polonia Brothers. Will it get done in 2017? No idea. Those two make a lot of movies.
I am also going to keep track of every movie I watched in 2017 so look for that list in about 12 months.
So, throw in two print issues of  Divine and maybe another book for NaNoWriMo this year and I think 2017 might be a tad bit busier.
I'm writing this at work and they don't let me use pictures here so, no picture to go with the post.
Maybe I'll add one later.
Probably not.
Gonna be too damned busy!
NOTE: I ended up putting the comic book reviews at the Penguin Comics Blog. It is located at  Go read it there

Thursday, October 13, 2016

CarousHELL (2016)

Directed by Steve Rudzinski
Written by Aleen Isley & Steve Rudzinski
Starring Steve Rimpici, Se Marie, Haley Madison, Chris Proud, Teague Shaw & Steve Rudzinski

Duke (Steve Rimpici) has had enough. He works day in day out at the local amusement park and has finally had enough of the snot nosed brats that ride him. See, Duke is a carousel unicorn. Thus we get the pun from the title of the film. His focus of rage is a brat nicknamed Lunchbox (Teague Shaw). The little monster actually collects lunch boxes, thus the nickname. Also, he can’t stop eating. His sister, Laurie (Se Marie, who I thought I had seen previously in a Bill Zebub production and was wrong) is stuck with him for the day because mom has to work.
Laurie doesn’t care. She has plans to go to a party and have a blast with her boyfriend no matter what. Sarah (Haley Madison, who I recognized from multiple Henrique Couto productions and was right this time) is throwing the party and we have all sorts of fun people there. An incestuous foreign couple. A serial killer. And then there’s Preston (Chris Proud) Popped collar and channeling his best Ryan Reynolds. Once we stir in Joe, the pizza guy (Steve Rudzinski) who just wants to get paid for his pizzas we have the perfect setting for a massacre.

Duke is killing anyone who stands in his way of slaughtering Lunchbox.
I saw this in the perfect place…Cinema Wasteland. It was Saturday night and we were all wired from attending A. Ghastlee Ghoul’s Saturday Night At The Movies. I was familiar with Rudzinski’s work and have seen a lot of his previous films.
Nothing prepared me for CarousHELL.
See, you get the carousel unicorn and his first victim is one of the amusement park workers and he skewers him with his horn. Makes sense. I was worried that continued multiple impalings would get dull.
Never fear.

The very next person he sneaks up on he brandishes a huge machete and buries it in their skull.
I could not stop laughing from that point onward. This movie has some of the best executed, most creative kills I have seen in a very long time. I think Duke should have his own series of films at this point. I really could watch him plow through tons of clueless millenials on a regular basis and it would never ever ever get old.
I mentioned that Chris Proud was channeling Ryan Reynolds. It wasn’t meant as mean or degrading. He nails it and is one of the funniest things I’ve seen in a while.
If you’re looking for something new. Something different. Something with the weirdest sex scene you will see in your entire life then I must insist you watch this movie.
You can thank me when you see me.



Directed by Greg DeLiso
Written by Greg DeLiso & Peter Litvin
Starring Peter Litvin, Georgia Kate Haege, J.J. Brine, John Munnelly, Traci Ann Wolfe, Richard Kohn & Rockin Ray as Himself

In a world similar to our own there is a vigilante roaming the streets of New York City. He destroys the junkies, the drug dealers, pretty much anyone who is evil and destructive. His name is Hectic Knife and armed with his two trusty knives and an uncanny ability to regenerate from any wound, even self inflicted ones, he is out to make the world a better place.
But, there’s no money in the world saving business so he advertises for a new roommate and ends up with Link (John Munnelly) who with his comic books and fat stacks of cash, moves in right away.
Consisting on a diet of nothing but hard boiled eggs and the occasionally fried gun and cardboard (???) he dispatches thugs left and right. When he saves a young girl, Frannie Glooper (Georgia Kate Haege), she follows him home declaring herself as his girlfriend.

When Hectic beats the crap out of three drug dealers he finds that they are working for the nefarious Piggly Doctor (J.J. Brine). A madman who wants to bring about the end of the world by hooking everyone on drugs and blowing up small children.
Hectic Knife must call upon his mad skills of knife wielding to save the day, the planet, and the children and maybe even himself.
I go to a convention twice a year. Cinema Wasteland. Held the first weekend of April and October every year it has been a Waltz tradition for over a decade. I was walking through the dealers room with the always lovely Martha Waltz when a man in a long, blonde wig, face covered in blood approached us with flyers in hand. He was pimping his new film being released by Troma. That film was Hectic Knife. When I expressed my enthusiasm for what sounded like an epic film he gave us a special screener copy of his movie along with a CD of his own music. (The music is cool, thanks Peter – DW)
I had zero expectations when I started the movie.
It exceeded all of them.

See, I’m an old fart and have watched so many movies that I remember when there were these amazing underground film makers like Kenneth Anger, Richard Kern and Nick Zedd. I can remember seeing movies like Liquid Sky and Repo Man that defied ordinary film making.
Now I can add Hectic Knife to that eclectic blend of bizarre, weird and downright insane films that I can watch over and over again with no boredom creeping in around the edges. Using the black and white mode coupled with some grainy effects that can only be achieved through film and some really good computer programs this movie feels like it was made in the 80s and someone just dug it out of a hole for all of us to enjoy as it was meant to be.
Hectic Knife is pure underground cinematic perfection.
The characters are fully aware that you’re watching them. Little touches of color creep in when appropriate like when one of the drug dealers can’t stop talking about how orange the pills are. I especially liked the scene where Frannie introduced herself to Link and she did it about twenty times in about twenty accents. It sounds like a lot, but it works really well. The idea that people in this universe eat things like fried guns and cardboard are genius. It reminded me of the odd world created in the film The Dark Backward.

Hectic Knife has two friends in the whole world in this movie his buddy Harry who is a Vietnam Vet that plays chess and kicks ass. He is awesome in this film. But, then Rockin Ray comes along. Rockin Ray is driving this car painted with a mural of awesomeness and has many things festooned about the entire surface. He is driving through the neighborhoods preaching his gospel of no drugs through a loudspeaker on the car. Imagine my surprise when I saw that he is a real person!
 The entire film reminded me of a better time in film. A time when people took chances and it got shown in a theater. This would play so well in a theater so it did my heart good to see that it will be having some screenings.
I have no idea what brought that young man who I now know is the star of Hectic Knife, Peter Litvin, to hand over a copy of the film that he helped to bring into this world, but it made my day.
Now, if you will excuse me I must go and spread the word of the magnificent piece of cinema known as…HECTIC KNIFE! 

Thursday, September 1, 2016

New from the Producers of HARDCORE HENRY

I really liked HARDCORE HENRY so, I think this will be cool.

Producers of HARDCORE HENRY Announce New Film 

Organize Fantastic, Death-Defying Stunt in Toronto

Toronto, ON, Canada (September 1, 2016) – Producers Alex A. Ginzburg, Tony Lee and Inga Vainshtein Smith (2015 TIFF Grolsch People's Choice Midnight Madness Award winner Hardcore Henry), today announced We Kill Death, a new film focusing on four astonishing daredevils from Russia and Ukraine. Racking up millions of views on YouTube, Mustang Wanted, Oleg Cricket and the duo of Vitaliy Raskalov & Vadim Makhorov are familiar to audiences around the world for their imaginative and death-defying stunts and adventures.
Ukrainian Mustang Wanted and Russian Oleg Cricket are world-renowned “Rooftoppers,” accomplished parkour stuntmen known for taking things beyond the next level—Ginzburg describes their talents as chiefly “as a lack of fear of heights.” In this video from CNN, Oleg leaps, almost casually, from pillar to pillar atop the 43-story Sofitel Hotel in Dubai While there, he hangs from the 40th floor with nothing below him but air. In this compilation video with almost 10 million views, audiences can see Mustang hanging from skyscrapers, “tightrope” walking on construction cranes and performing various other dizzying stunts.
Vitaliy & Vadim’s approach differs from Mustang and Oleg both in that they work as a duo, and in that they are more concerned with going places no one else has been in a stylish and visually appealing manner than they are with the physicality of their exploits. The pair have made headlines by breaking into buildings and construction sites and scaling the towers. This video of the pair climbing the Shanghai Tower—the second-tallest building in the world—has almost 57 million views.
“These men are incredible athletes,” says Ginzburg. “They have more strength in their fingers than most people have in their entire bodies.” Always looking to take their exploits to the next level, Ginzburg assures that audiences will not be disappointed.
The potential for cinematic impact for a film like We Kill Death is obvious, Ginzburg explains. “People report intense physical and emotional reactions just from watching these stunts on phones and computers. We believe that this film will deliver the single most visceral big-screen cinematic experience unlike any other.”
The producers have tapped Emmy nominee Eddie Perez as stunt coordinator.  Perez, a veteran stuntman and stunt coordinator, has worked on such films as Fast 8DeadpoolJack Reacher, and Captain America: The Winter Soldier.
Through their Let It Play production and financing company, Alex A. Ginzburg and Tony Lee have produced this year’s Ordinary World, in which an aging punk rocker (Green Day frontman Billy Joe Armstrong) copes with life after rock, also starring Selma Blair and Judy Greer, and the upcoming Holding Patterns, starring Freddie Highmore, Odeya Rush and Haley Joel Osment.
Inga Vainshtein Smith says, “After producing Hardcore Henry—which had some seriously crazy death defying stunt work, where people still call and ask, ‘How did your director do that?’ I welcomed the opportunity to go even further out on the ledge to join Alex and Tony in bringing this film to the screen.”
Mustang Wanted, Oleg Cricket and Vitaliy & Vadim will all be in Toronto. At the Festival, the filmmakers will execute a live aerial stunt unlike any other in the history of the Festival on Friday evening, September 9 at 6:00PM EDT. Guaranteed to take your breath away, the event—which includes a reception from 5:00-7:00PM for special guests and media to witness it live—is not to be missed. WME is on board to handle domestic sales of We Kill Death.


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