Saturday, January 4, 2014

MY TOP TEN LIST OF 2013

I have read a lot of top ten lists in preparation for this. A lot of them. Funny thing. THEY ALL HAVE THE SAME MOVIES ON THEM!!! Time to show the amateurs how this is done so, in no particular order;

MONOCHROMIA

Directed by Michael Legge

Legge again embraces an alternate reality where a deadly chemical weapon is released and the world becomes color blind. A scientist has discovered a cure, but he is murdered before he can give it freely to the world. MONOCHROMIA embraces the themes of greed and corruption and gives pause for thought of what encompassing color blindness could mean to our economy. No reason to make colors if no one can see them, right. And, a plus for me, is the ever lovely Cherry Lynn Zinger in one of the lead roles. She is always a delight to watch.


AN EVENING WITH MY GREAT AUNT BEDELIA

Directed by Josh Suire

Chris Seaver of Low Budget Pictures fame created a plan that would make it seem like there was a video company called Warlock Home Video from the 80's and these are the lost films of that now defunct company. A truly great idea.
Director Josh Suire under the fake name Tobe Larone gives us a tale of inheritance, demons and madness. Throw in some uncomfortable situations and gore and you have one of Warlock Home Video's best rleases of the past year.



DEATH O'LANTERN 2

Directed by Rudy Bellafonte (Probably Chris Seaver)

The second one from Warlock this year is a sequel to one of the first Warlock Home Video releases. Stingy Jack is back to kill again and again and again. Meredith Host returns as the hero and, being a huge Low Budget Pictures fan, the more I watched this, the more I missed Heather and Puggly. It made me sad that time is over.
Then, at the very end. The very, very end, the garage door opens and we get an epic song and dance to end the film and I laughed so hard and it made me feel better. This makes the film and it is awesome.



BLOOD CREEK WOODSMAN

Directed by Joe Sherlock

Joe Sherlock gives us movies like no other. Lots of grue, lots of boobs, lots of big girls. Lots of boobs...wait, did I already say that? Oh well...booooooobs! Crazed lumberjack with edged weapons and a chainsaw? Yes, please!

Dr. Frankenstein's Wax Museum of the Hungry Dead (2013)

DR. FRANKENSTEIN'S WAX MUSEUM OF THE HUNGRY DEAD

By Richard Griffin

I am of the opinion that Richard Griffin in incapable of making a bad movie. Don't believe me? Try out Atomic Brain Invasion. Or Disco Exorcist. Griffin embraces the exploitation film genre and makes it his own. Always a good time and a worthy addition to the pantheon of Frankenstein films. Plus, how friggin cool is that title? So good.



INDIE DIRECTOR

Directed by Bill Zebub

I have been going to Cinema Wasteland for years. One of the first people I met there was director, Bill Zebub. I had seen one of his earlier efforts THE WORST HORROR MOVIE EVER MADE and thought it was pure genius. Bill has two kind of movies; the bondage, slimy sicko flicks and the fun movies. I am a huge fan of the latter. This year, Bill decided to put himself under the microscope and show us what he goes through to make his movies. It is funny, sweet, uncomfortably honest and probably the best thing he has ever done. Truly a great film.

Babysitter Massacre (2013)

BABYSITTER MASSACRE

Directed by Henrique Couto

This is one of two movies that Mr. Couto directed this year. The other one, A BULLDOG FOR CHRISTMAS, I have not seen yet, but this one...
This one is slasher movie gold.
Any regular reader here knows that my favorite genre is the slasher genre. Especially ones in small towns with a cast of unknowns that looks like a real small town.
Slasher Heaven.
The kills look good. The ladies look awesome.
Final girl Erin R. Ryan does a magnificent job in her role.
This is what people trying to recreate the slasher phenomenon of the 80's need to watch.
This is perfection.

And there is your top ten for the year.
What?
You say that's only seven films?
Yeah, I hate top ten lists.
Go find these movies. Go buy them. Watch them. Make your friends watch them. These are real movies by real people. Not Hollywood Committee Crap.
Have a great New Year!

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