Friday, January 17, 2014


Directed by Robert J.Rosenthal
Written by Celia Susan Cotelo & Robert J. Rosenthal
Starring Kim Lankford, James Daughton, Susan Player, Michael Luther & Steve Oliver

MALIBU BEACH starts with school getting out for the year. Kids running everywhere and three cheerleaders give a little cheer before someone asks our lead Dina (Kim Lankford) where she’s going.
Malibu Beach, of course!
Bobby (James Daughton) and Paul (Michael Luther) are cruising around in Bobby’s customized Jeep. Dina is a lifeguard for the summer. Muscle man Dugan (Steve Oliver) is putting the movies on teacher Ms. Plickett (Flora Plumb) to no avail.
It’s just another summer on Malibu Beach.
And that might be why this movie is just so damned dull.
There is no plot of any kind in this movie. Bobby and Dugan don’t get along and we have no idea why. There is no huge drag race at the end or no plot to get even with another group of kids or fight the cops or anything. The only one with an agenda is a dog that steals bikini tops on the beach so we get plenty of nudity to go along with, well nothing.
Sure, Bobby and Dugan have a swim off at the end and Bobby is almost eaten by a really fake looking shark at the end, but that’s about it.
And you have to realize that I love this genre of movie. I am a huge fan of the classic 70’s teen comedy and this one is so flat and thin and just kind of rolls along for it’s 96 minute running time until one of the kids tells a bad joke, they all laugh and then freeze frame, the end.
The one interesting thing about the film is that the character of Dugan also appears in the movie THE VAN (1977) that was pretty good and written by the duo that put pen to paper for this epic. Dugan is even played by the same actor so that means this boring dud takes place in the same continuity of THE VAN so, there’s that, but that isn’t enough.
I’m pretty sure that the girl who runs the snack shack was also in SATAN’S CHEERLEADERS, but I would have to watch the end credits again to really make sure and I’m not quite ready to delve back into this mind numbing land of dull again so soon. Kind of like waiting after you’ve eaten to take the plunge. Yeah, that’s it.
We’ll see.
Probably not.
Still not as bad as ETERNAL EVIL, but still pretty impossible to recommend.


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