ONLINE EXPLOITATION!!!!!

No, I'm not talking about porn ya perverted bastiches! See, there is this ritual I go through everyday and I thought I would run it through you guys to make sure you knew about some of the wild and wacky places I visit on the Internet everyday.
First up would have to be my favorite online comic strip; Girls With Slingshots. My favorite character in the strip is a talking cactus named McPedro. Check this out for true comedy genius;



To get more of this go to

Girls With Slingshots

My other favorite online strips would have to be

Shortpacked

PVP

and Least I Could Do

In other surfing I have to mention some of my favorite blogs.
First up would have to be Robert Monell's I'm In A Jess Franco State Of MindFor all things Franco, one of my favorite directors, this is the place to go. And the background will definitely mess with your vision.Check it out.


Other honorable mentions would be Curt Purcell's Groovy Age of Horror

Tim Lucas of Video Watchdog fame with Video Watchblog
From there you can go to his blog dedicated to the immense volume of Mario Bava lore, All The Colors Of The Dark. Fair warning though. If you look at that book you're gonna want to buy one for yourself.

Tomb It May Concern deals with David Zuzelo's obsession with, well lots of things.

That's it for this installment of Online Exploitation. Be sure to check out all these sites. If you like the crap I cover here you will LOVE this stuff, I guarantee it!

ANTENA CRIMINAL!!!!!

(Note: Currently I am work so I can't access the site that would give me a picture of the box to display here. I'll rectify that when I get back to The Compound. - DW)
So, last night I finally got to watch this documentary. Basically the premise is that Jess Franco is filming the picture, BLIND TARGET, and this little documentary got made in the process. They were allowed to be there the entire time of shooting.
So, what does this give the true Franco fan? It's like living with Jess Franco for a while. The camera focuses on him throughout the trials and tribulations of making this low budget picture. There are breaks in the course of the documentary where they sit and talk with Jess and his reasons for making a film with such a political bent to it. BLIND TARGET is more of an action, political film than the usual erotica themes that he has been exploring recently.
Some of the highlights that stuck out for me were the scene where the incredibly gorgeous Tatiana couldn't say the line 'I think I am in good Shape'. The woman is a slim, brunette knockout, but you could see the frustration that Jess was having with her inability to say the simplest of lines with the proper inflection. She really could not pronounce the word 'shape'. This went on for an hour and you could feel the tension in the hotel room where they were shooting.
It was great to see Jess manning the camera even during dolly shots where he would sit in a wheelchair and they would move him and the camera around to get the shot.
Everyone in the film looked excited and happy to be there and they were all trying their best, well except for Tatiana, who may have been trying her best, but she was just a bimbo.
There are even scenes from his convention appearance in Chicago back in 2000. I remember it vividly because that's where I met him for the first and only, so far, time. No, I didn't end up in the movie, but it was cool to know that I was where they had done some of the documentary.
In the end ANTENA CRIMINAL is an intimate portrait of one of my favorite filmmakers and a true gem for anyone who can call themselves a fan of Jess Franco. In fact, after watching it I went to bed and actually dreamed that I was hanging out with Jess Franco. He wasn't making a film, just relaxing at home and Lina Romay was there and we made some food together and it was very nice. Of course Sheri Moon Zombie was there wearing a scuba suit and duct tape on her nipples, but I have no idea what that could have been about.
ANTENA CRIMINAL is available from Trash Palace at www.trashpalace.com. Even with priority shipping and insurance on the package it cost less than twenty bucks and they even include a copy of BLIND TARGET in the price. Go get yours now!

IT'S HERE!!!!!

The long awaited documentary from the fine folks at Trash Palace. I am talking, of course, of the film ANTENNA CRIMINAL. And indepth documentary of the filming of one of Jess Franco's more recent films, BLIND TARGET. It's a two disc set loaded with goodies and I nice trifold booklet about the film written by author, Pete Tombs. This is going to be great! I had to brag it up a little that I have it, now I need to watch it. Tonight is looking good and then I will be back with a full report on what it was like.
JESS FRANCO LIVES!!!

PANIC (1976)

The box actually says that the flick was made in 1983, but I'm gonna go with the IMDB date instead. Especially since the flick was originally titled BAKTERION. So, we get this scientist type that has these experiments blow up in his face and he turns into a bloodthirsty monster and goes on a rampage slaughtering people. Enter Captain Kirk. No, not William Shatner. The character's actual name is Captain Kirk and he is played by none other than David Warbeck. Kirk is there to destroy the threat before time runs out. When time runs out they are gonna nuke the town to make sure that the contagion doesn't spread any farther than necessary.
Kind of odd since the creature comes into contact with quite a few people and they never get infected. Oh well, what ya gonna do?
So, with the time growing nearer and nearer, Kirk is forced to obtain a substance known as Necron gas. Bullets don't harm the monster so it is a last resort. The scientist type's assistant (played by blonde euro goddess, Janet Agren of EMERALD JUNGLE fame) thinks that she can cure the doctor. She even manages to communicate with the beast, but Kirk is having none of it. He manages to slaughter the monster and the bomb is not dropped. All is well for the survivors.
This isn't all that bad a flick. It's always good to see Ms. Agren, although she remained clothed throughout which was kind of a disappointment. warbeck is always good in the macho hero role and this time is no exception. The story just kind of moves from slaughter to slaughter with little rhyme or reason. Just enough time to eat up the running time and make sure that we get plenty of shots of the goopy monster and the crappy blood effects that he wreaks across the small village.
In the end it is a modest monster flick that serves it's purpose. To entertain

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

Yup, the kids have torn through the wrapping paper and are already showing signs of getting tired. That'll teach them to get up at six in the AM. Anyway, just spent an hour playing RESERVOIR DOGS for the Playstation 2 and it is a blast! Happy wishes of yuletide joy to all on this glorious day and if I had one wish, okay two wishes because the first wish really only has to do with world peace and such, but the second wish would be for someone besides myself to get a copy of LABIOS ROJOS (Pictured above) and subtitle it for the masses. Being the first of the series of films concerning the Red Lips Detective Agency I think that6 it is a pretty important flick. In the meantime I have decided to learn Spanish and get it done on my own.
I'll be back with more movies from my Chilling Box set in the near future.
Peace out!

THE DEMONS OF LUDLOW (1983)

In the tiny little town of Ludlow, they are celebrating their bicentennial. To help commemorate the event the relative of the founding father of the town has sent a piano to the town as a gift. Unbeknownst to anyone in Ludlow, however is the fact that the piano is more than it seems. It houses the spirit of Ludlow and he has come back to the small town for revenge.
As I started watching this I saw the director's credit was for Bill Rebane. Bill Rebane? Why does that sound familiar? I dashed to the handy dandy internet and soon had my answer. Rana: The Legend of Shadow Lake also known as Croaked: Frog Monster from Hell, which is the version that I have. My God that movie was horrid! What chance did I have with this one.
Actually, it went pretty well. I love stuff that is shot in Smalltown, U.S.A. and this was shot in Wisconsin where every town is pretty damned small. The basic plot is what I mentioned above. The film has a creepy, grainy look to it that helps with some of the weirder aspects of the flick. I especially like when the townspeople are being attacked that every so often a weird looking, glowing hand would appear to help in the carnage. No explanation, but it was bizarre enough to be enjoyable.
Now, the one thing that does worry me is that this Chilling box set I have also has a film called THE ALPHA INCIDENT seems that Rebane directed that one as well. I could be in for some big trouble with this Rebane fella.

DEVIL TIMES FIVE (1974)

Man, are those kids creepy or what? Seems that they were on their way to a asylum for looney kids and the bus gets into an accident. The driver gets knocked out and there is the kids' opportunity to escape. There's a nearby house full of three couples and a handyman. The kids make a beeline for the place and they get a chance to whack their keeper before he spills the beans.
It isn't long before they start dispatching the people one by one. At first, the grown ups think that there's a killer on the loose. It's waaaay too late before they figure out the truth and by then, well the grown ups are screwed.
There are some interesting kills; a woman set on fire, death my swing that has a machete in the front of it, but my favorite would have to be when they drown the big titted bimbo and drop piranha in the bathtub while she struggles to survive. Very inventive.
Now, here's the weird part. The big tittied bimbo I mentioned, yeah her name is Carolyn Steller and she is Leif Garrett's mother. Also Dawn Lyn who you might remember better as Dodie on MY THREE SONS, is Leif's sister and the daughter of the aforementioned Carolyn Steller. Kind of a weird flick to involve the whole family in. Especially when Carolyn is thrashing in the tub buck naked and her own daughter is dumping live piranha on her. In defense of the piranha, they looked a lot like blue gills to me.
In true 70's exploitation schlock we get a downer, non ending, but I gotta admit. The murders were creative, the kids were creepy and probably the weirdest thing is that the only motivation that these kids had was that they were crazy. No radioactive sludge made them this way or being the offspring of aliens, these kids were just bug nut crazy.
This is another one from the Chilling 50 pack I got. This was a good one.