Tuesday, November 17, 2015

DICKSHARK (2016)





The film opens with Greg (Greg Fuller) using an experimental penis enlargement cream invented by his mad scientist roommate, Dick (Bill Zebub) It makes his penis clay like and when Greg shapes it for some unknown reason into a pink shark it becomes sentient and bites off his fingers when he tries to use the bathroom. His girlfriend shoots it in a panic and the dick shark falls into the toilet and makes its way into the water systems.
Where it begins to mutate.
Soon, it attacks various women and Dick is on the move to find the beast and see what has become of it. As more and more women are assaulted by the beast who has adapted so that it can fly, Dick realizes that this new life form may be more than mankind can handle.
Thus begins the epic three hour movie cleverly titled ‘DICKSHARK’. Those, like myself, that are used to the works of film maker Bill Zebub find this to be a normal title from the film maker. After all, this is the gentleman who gave us the film ‘ANTFARM DICKHOLE’.
And, like many of his films, the Dickshark is the central idea of the film, but that is never enough for Bill Zebub. As he fondles the many victims of the dick shark rapes he discusses things like religion, Santa Claus, life and death and discrimination.
John Giancaspro as Colin Ebsary, plays a rival who is attempting to steal the secrets of the monster for himself for selfish reasons and sends his girlfriend, Vanna (Erin Brown) to Dick in an attempt to sway him with sex and love so that she can bag the creature. When another of Dick’s experiments gets loose and kills Vanna, Colin is heartbroken and unable to continue with his miserable life where he thinks all we do is eat, sleep, piss and shit our existence away.
Bill Zebub gives us some haunting imagery and a metal score that we come to expect from one of the true masters of the exploitation field.
Don’t let the three hour run time dissuade you to watch one of the best, original films being released today.
Intelligent, scary, heartbreakingly sad and funny as Hell DICKSHARK shows us that Bill Zebub can take a one note joke and turn it into something g wondrous to behold.

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