Saturday, May 9, 2015


First up, let's give credit where credit is due;

Directed by Chris Wojcik
Written by Chris Wojcik
Starring Greg Hoople as Wolf,  Stephanie Motta as Rachel and Adam Schonberg as Jake

So, from time to time I try out new ROKU channels with my ROKU box. Recently, there was a new channel that just said Watch Horror Movies For Free. I'm a big fan of free and I know that most of these have commercial interruptions, but I'm used to commercials so it's like a blast from the past for me.
I signed up for the channel and spotted this movie right away. I had heard of it before, but never sought it out.
I should have watched sooner.

With an opening sequence where a woman bashes her cat to death with a frying pan to a kid being devoured by a rabbit I knew I was in for a fun time. Both creatures where of the stuffed variety and the makers of the film didn't even try to hide it.
Into the animals going berserk scenario comes out hero and pizza delivery guy, Wolf. He is a huge nerd on his way to the movies with his buddy Jake. He just needs to make a final delivery on the outskirts of town.
The delivery happens to be at a huge party with nothing but girls drinking beer and having fun. Wolf and Jake decide to fake car problems and skip the movie. Jake gets lucky and Wolf gets to experience premature ejaculation with an old flame in the back of his car.
A huge win for everyone.
The next morning Wolf is eating old pizza and one of the girls sees a deer next to the house. It lets her get close so she decides to try and pet it.
The deer bites off her hand.
It becomes obvious that all animals are trying to kill all humans and now Wolf, Jake and Rachel are on the run from death and destruction.

RISE OF THE ANIMALS is really a fun flick. Sure, sometimes the animals are stuffed animals and terrible puppets in close up, but sometimes they are terrible CGI so it's a fair mix. The movie works because you get the up close drama of Wolf and company just trying to survive, but then there are scenes where a tanker is being attacked by some kind of tentacled monstrosity and it gets firebombed by a stealth fighter. The animals are everywhere and they must be winning if we are resorting to desperate action like this.
If you look past the sketchy effects and just enjoy a good old fashioned animals on the rampage flick this works really well.  I really liked that at no time do we get any explanation as to why this is taking place. It gave it more a sense of reality. That whole just staying alive aspect instead of trying to figure out the whys and wherefores. The important part is to still be able to suck oxygen.
Good flick, four years old. These guys need to make another one.
I'd watch it.

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