Wednesday, February 16, 2011


Okay, you heard about the big fun at the Palace, but what about the flicks? Needless to say, LBP did not disappoint in this area. Like they could.

Right out of the gate we got the latest in the Filthy McNasty saga: BEYOND MCNASTY. in this the final chapter of the saga we have Prudence AKA Mrs. Sex Ed and she feels mousy and unloved. Using a witchcraft for dummies book, she becomes a sex goddess and summons Shkima demons Dartagnan and Gillyweed. (My apologies if these are not spelled correctly) In trade for her good looks she must have a party where the demons can slaughter everyone. A ragtag band of kids go off in search of the one man who can save them. Who is it? Watch the damned movie already!
Because LBP has dissolved this will most likely be the last of Filthy McNasty. Seaver pulled out all the punches with this one. The Shkima demons and their extra long schlongs penetrate anything and everything in their attack on the kids of Bonejack High. The usal amount of blood, gore, shit and other bodily fluids explode on the screen.
This is one of my favorite of the Filthy McNasty saga and the crowd loved it.

TEENAPE GOES TO CAMP combines the fun of camp movies and flicks where people get hunted down. Teenape is invited to camp by Heather Baggliadocci and since he owes her a favor, he agrees. Plus there promises to be tons of barely legal poontang for the sex crazed monkey to get all wild on.
But, is it as simple as just training kids to be camp counselors? And why is Choach there? What foul plan does Heather have up her red headed sleeve?
Again, buy the damned movie already?
TEENAPE GOES TO CAMP is probably one of my favorite, laugh out loud of the LBP pantheon. There is a scene at the beginning where Teenape is doing roll call and he just stops and says that these kids are hideous like the goblins of Mordor. The delivery of the line always makes me laugh and I miss ten minutes of the flick. This time was no exception and Seaver has some of his best camerawork in this flick.

GEEK WAR tells the tale of Max Havoc and Papillion St. Croix and the object of their desire. At Deathbone's comic store there is an unmarked VHS tape priced at 1500 dollars. In 25 years, Deathbone has never sold that tape. Now comes the day when both Max and Papillion arrive with the scratch to buy the tape.
One problem.
A hot nerd chick by the name of Tangerine has already bought the tape and she has no intention to sell. Both geeks hit upon the scheme to woo Tangerine and wrest the tape from her clutches. Papillion tries first, but his idea of a good time is having Tangerine watch while Papillion and his two bitches for hire, Slut and Spammy do obscene things. Tangerine has had better dates.
MAx is next up to bat, but you have to watch it when you go into a fake love relationship. Sometimes real love shows up and then even a fifteen hundred dollar tape doesn't seem all that important.
GEEK WAR is the movie that should make Chris Seaver famous. It's smart, funny and has a lot of heart. Billy Gaberina is always funny as Deathbone as is Jesse Ames as Marge. Shawn C. Phillips, who is also in Filthy McNasty 4 is hilarious. Especially when he threatens a little kid in the store played by River, Chris Seaver's son. Meredith Host is great as always and Heather Maxon is smoking hot as Slut. She does a little dance number in the flick that is, well pretty damned hot. And Josh Suire as Papillion is a real treat. OF course the prize goes to Kurt Indovina. His role as Max Havoc is priceless. The uber nerd with the heart of gold, Kurt rattles off enough geek knowledge to make him the poster boy for geeks worldwide. It is funny watching him try to have a scene with Raine Brown who plays Tangerine. Raine is just under five feet tall while Kurt is well over six. It adds to the comedy of the scenes that they share together and makes it that much better a film.
GEEK WAR is the one. This is the flick that I feel that LBP has always been building to. Sure, it might be less raunchy than a lot of their product, but it is pure LBP.

Finally we have the film that no one will ever see. At least if Chris Seaver has anything to say about it. A job for Troma became what Seaver called, 'the worst shoot in his life'. I am referring to, TEENAPE VS THE MONSTER NAZI APOCALYPSE. It begins in WW II Germany and the PIA led by Bonejack are after Hitler. While they complete their objective they discover an experiment that they take back with them to the states. A creature known only as Teenape.
Training Teenape, Bonejack discovers that in the present day that Hitler is back and has a legion of monsters ready to do his bidding.
Bnejack fights fire with fire and recruits Thunder, Heather and Choach along with Teenape for one final battle with the madman from Germany.
But at what cost?
Seaver made sure to include as many LBP characters as he could in this film. You can tell that he was making a love letter for the fans.
Then the film was taken away from him and only by the most remarkable of circumstances were we able to view the film at all. It's fun to watch, but that elusive behavior that is truly LBP is missing and it hurts the film in the end.
It was cool of Mr. Seaver to let his true fans watch this flick, but I could see where he was coming from.

Now for some business.

LBP is having a final sale. 23 flicks and a signed poster for 130 bucks. Head on over here; for more info.

And someone needs to release GEEK WAR. To not do so would be foolish. You hear me foolish!

I miss LBP already.

Next; the video of the event.

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