Wednesday, March 11, 2009
WHY YOU MUST NOT SEE THE LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT
Before we begin I will give full warning that there are spoilers. I know what you're thinking. But, Doug, the movie hasn't been released yet, how can you have spoilers? Simple. The idiots who have made this one have prettty much given away every plot point to a movie that doesn't have much in the way of plot to begin with.
First, let's cover the original.
A first film my Wes Craven and Sean Cunningham, LAst House On The Left is brutal. David Hess as Krug is one of the most unforgiving, perverted, psychopaths to come down the cinematic pike in a while. Even today he is brutal in his portrayal of this degenerate. Can you imagine what the people thought in 1972? Shocking to say the very least.
The premise is that two young girls are on their way to see a rock concert and they want to score a little grass. They run into this funny kid who happens to tag along with this looney Krug and his flunkies. Pretty soon the two girls are dragged into the woods, raped, beaten, stabbed, forced to urinate on themselves and carved up like Christmas turkeys.
This extended scene is as brutal as I SPIT ON YOUR GRAVE's extended rape scene was. It just keeps going and batters you over the head.
Well, eventually, the killers have car trouble and are forced to stop at a little house on a deserted stretch of road. They just happen to pick the house of one of the girls they have just violated and murdered. A clue leads the parents to find their daughter who dies.
The rest of the film is the calculated revenge of the two parents. This is a big crowd pleaser because revenge is always a crowd pleaser. Honestly, I would have done the same. God knows ytou couldn't turn this scum over to the American justice system. Put them down like a rabid dog. And they do in graphic detail.
See, pretty simple flick, right?
Now they want to remake it. Hell, they have reamde it and the advertising blitz tells us it will be here Friday. The killers look generic, the plot is the same, but they did one thing different.
THE DAUGHTER LIVES!!!
Okay, if they are able to save their daughter then why in the Hell are they killing everyone. The basic concept of Last House On The LEft is one of revenge. Take that away and you no longer have that movie. It becomes a different movie with a familiar title. Plus, the killers are lame.
Here is the original set of killers;
Now, here are the new ones;
Um, yeah, right. Not scary and pretty damned generic looking.
If you want to see LAST HOUSE ON THE LEFT, then by all means do so. You can by a very nice DVD of it or rent it from NETFLIX or your nearest video store. I recommend it and it's a very good film. This new one is crap and needs to be ignored. If we continue to support this crap then they will continue to make it.
Be intelligent and see what all the fuss is about with the new one by watching the original one instead.
Here's a trailer to show you why.