Tuesday, May 9, 2017

Why I'm Not Watching Any New Star Wars Movies

A lot of you will look at that title and figure the old man is getting ready to go on a rant. Yeah, I could, but I decided this might be a good learning experience for everyone. See, I go to new movies all the time. I watch new shows. No problem at all. But, you have to remember one thing. Star Wars came out in 1977. That was the year I turned fifteen. Yeah, I get that I'm old, I understand. But, here's the thing. You find out when you were fifteen and go see what movies were made that year. It's easy to get a list.
Here's mine; (Yes I expect you to at least glance over the list. I'll meet you down below.)

Airport ‘77
Andy Warhol’s Bad
Annie Hall
Audrey Rose
The Bad News Bears In Breaking Training
Billy Jack Goes to Washington
Black Sunday
Breaker! Breaker!
A Bridge Too Far
The Car
The Choirboys
Cinderella
Citizen’s Band
Close Encounters of the Third Kind
Cross of Iron
Damnation Alley
The Day of the Animals
The Deep
Demon Seed
Desperate Living
The Domino Principle
Drive-In Massacre
Eaten Alive
Empire of the Ants
Equus
Exorcist 2: The Heretic
For the Love of Benji
Fun With Dick And Jane
The Gauntlet
The Goodbye Girl
Grand Theft Auto
Greased Lightning
Herbie Goes to Monte Carlo
Heroes
High Anxiety
The Hills Have Eyes
The Incredible Melting Man
The Island of Dr. Moreau
Islands in the Stream
The Kentucky Fried Movie
Kingdom of the Spiders
Last House on Dead End Street
The Last Remake of Beau Geste
The Many Adventures of Winnie The Pooh
Martin
New York, New York
Oh ,God!
Orca
The Other Side of Midnight
Outlaw Blues
The People That Time Forgot
Pete’s Dragon
Planet of the Dinosaurs
Pumping Iron
Race for Your Life, Charlie Brown
Raggedy Ann & Andy: A Musical Adventure
The Rescuers
Rollercoaster
Rolling Thunder
Ruby
Satan’s Cheerleaders
Semi Tough
The Sentinel
Sinbad and the Eye of the Tiger
Slap Shot
Smokey and the Bandit
Star Wars
Telefon
Tentacles
Valentino
The Van
Viva Knievel!
Which Way Is Up?
Wizards
The World’s Greatest Lover

You Light Up My Life

And these are just the ones that I remember watching. Some good, some bad. Some really great movies in there. Some people on their A game with some of these films. Turning fifteen means you are on your way to adult hood, but you're still a kid. Everything is changing in your life and you either plow through it or examine everything.
See, I was lucky. My parents love movies. They loved to take us to movies. We saw them all. My dad took us to see All The President's Men because he thought it was important. That was the year before and all four of us went, even my little sister. Most of the movies up there can bring some long ago memory into laser focus for me. They remind me of that time that I was on the cusp of adulthood.
Of them all Star Wars was one of the more important ones. Remember, we had no VCRs or DVDs. If we wanted to see a movie we went and watched it. The first time we went we were blown away. My dad got us all in the car, we sat there for a minute and he said,
"Do you want to go see it again, right now?"
We all shouted yes and we went back in. One time, it was at The Douglas Drive in with Grey Lady Down and a thunder storm broke out as they were making the run on the Death Star. I stuck my head out the window to see it.
Star Wars was awesome. I watched the two sequels. I read Marvel's comic book. I even got Splinter of the Mind's Eye by Alan Dean Foster and thought that was great.  The trilogy ended on a happy note for me and that was fine.
The prequels were just the worst. I watched the first one, snippets of the second one and a couple of pieces of the third one and felt that I had not missed a thing. Those weren't made for me. I had my three Star Wars movies and I was very happy with that.
The real reason I'm not watching any of the new Star Wars movies?
I don;t need them.
I have my Star Wars movies and that's just fine with me.
Look at that list again.
Isn't that a great list?
Just reading it makes me want to go and watch at least ten of them right now.
Enjoy the new Star Wars movies.
Those are for you.
May The Force Be With you.

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