Thursday, January 12, 2017

DOUBLE FEATURE AT THE WALTZ COMPOUND; MONSTROSITY/INTO THE WOODS

Those titles may look familiar to you and you really couldn't be more wrong. I love all the free channels on my ROKU and the lovely Martha Waltz discovered one for me a while ago called GRINDHOUSE GRIT. I do loves me some Grindhouse flicks and the badder the better.

Image result for monstrosity 2007

At first I thought MONSTROSITY might be the Andy Milligan flick, but the 2007 date told me otherwise. Andy had been dead for a while.
In this one we have a carnival freak named Monstrosity who gets free from his master, kills a bunch of people and makes a beeline for a nearby factory where he kills the owner's son and his woman. He cuts her head off and then...nothing.
Ten years pass and someone else has bought he factory and the town legend is that Monstrosity died in a swamp near the factory.
Anyone else buying this? Nope, me neither.
So a group of low life drug dealers and some girls decide to break in, party and have some wild sex. What they don;t know is the man who bought the factory has just discovered millions of dollars in gold and cash, left by the former owner. He needs help getting it out of there so he enlists the drug dealers to help load it up. Each of them will get a cool million.
But, something is killing them. Is it the Monstrosity?
Or is it something worse?
Okay, sure the acting in this thing is dreadful and just one pair of lopsided titties is a little disappointing in the nudity department, but this wasn't that bad. It had a couple of nice twists and turns and the whole concept has been done a million times before.
But, it was a fun little time waster.


This was the only picture on the internet of this movie. Sad.

Then I decided to see something called INTO THE WOODS. It said it was a camping slasher flick and it had a running time of an hour and 18 minutes so it seemed like a safe bet. Some crazy dude ties up his wife and makes his two boys watch. He is sent to prison and the boys go into foster care. It's worth noting that crazy dad is also crazy drug dealer with a sword in the other movie. I had no idea that the films had any common denominator. Lucky I guess.
A group of kids go camping and it doesn't take long before the body count starts to go up. But, who's doing the killing? Have the boys become crazed killers? Are they among the group and no one knows it?
This seems like a lot of questions and the ending is pretty telegraphed.As camper slasher flicks go it ranks down at the bottom. They did use a lot of local music in their movie which is always a good thing, but the nudity is non existent and that is the death kiss of any slasher flick. Guys, if you're going to make a slasher flick you have to make sure at least one of your girlfriends is going to show off something. Otherwise, people like me are going to call you movie out for what it is; amateurish and crap.
I did laugh when I saw all the MySpace urls for the bands. There was even a geocities site. I had no idea that was even a thing anymore.

Monstrosity was pretty good though.

I like to put up trailers for flicks so people can get a taste of the punishment I put myself through. Yeah, neither of these had anything. Even their official sites were taken down. If you have a ROKU the channel is Grindhouse Grit and you can watch it an many others for free.

Free...I still felt like I was overcharged.

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