Sunday, February 2, 2014

CLICK:THE CALENDAR GIRL KILLER (1990)




Directed by Ross Hagen & John Stewart
Written by David Chute, Ross Hagen, John Stewart, Hoke Howell, Carol Lynn & David Reskin
Starring Ross Hagen, Troy Donahue, Hoke Howell, Gregory Scott Cummins, Donna Spier, Keely Sims & Susan Jennifer Sullivan

Okay, we get to start off with a small boy being chastised by a huge nurse. She tells him his mommy is dead and now she is forced to take care of him.
Flash forward to the decade like no other, the 90s, and we have women posing for the manic camera work of one Jack (Ross Hagen) and his assistant, Alan (Troy Donahue). It's a wrap and the party starts soon after. Professional model Nancy (Donna Spier) shows up at the party, is unceremoniously dumped in the hot tub and goes from being a serious model to stripping down to nothing for Jack's camera.
But this is all just build up to the huge project Jack has planned at his ranch. He is doing a photo spread that  glorifies sex and violence. And he will get the expressions he wants...no matter what.
CLICK gives us what must have been a Ross Hagen moment. He helps write it, direct it and, no surprise I promise, is the killer dressed like a nurse. Yes, a female nurse, otherwise who would care?
The movie takes forever to get off the ground and my famous actress spotting skills revealed Susan Jennifer Sullivan who plays the blonde, bitchy girl in FRIDAY THE 13TH 7:THE NEW BLOOD. In this movie she plays, well the same thing. She looks the same, acts the same, leaves her clothes on the same. Pretty dull.
Donna Spier was nice enough to give us opening nudity and then another girl gets naked for the bathtub before being stabbed to death in it.
Hagen does his normal chewing up the scenery that is always expected from him and you have to wonder if it was just a slasher flick cash grab for him. Makes sense. If you watch the end credits it was actually made in 1989 so, the time frame is right.
I wonder how many people are looking for the Adam Sandler movie and get this instead. I also wonder if they finish watching it or make a quick exit. For slasher movies it is a little slow, but for complete madman acting skills, Hagen is the master of this flick. Just watching him makes the movie worthwhile.

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