Thursday, March 10, 2011

REVIEWS OF MOVIES I HAVEN'T SEEN

I have been doing these off and on for well over 25 years. More off than on lately so I decided to flex these particular writing muscles once again. This time we will be looking at the top ten at the box office.

RANGO - Good for Gore Verbinski in making an animated film he wanted to. Having Johnny Depp onboard will help the first couple of weeks, but this one really isn't for the kiddies from what I have seen.  Probably one of two flicks I will bother to see on this list.

THE ADJUSTMENT BUREAU - This looks dumb. The kind of dumb that even the magnificence of Terence Stamp can't save. Pretty sure this one is a pass forever. Not gonna bother.

BEASTLY - There are so many reasons not to watch this new take on Beauty and the Beast, but Neil Patrick Harris is in it! Does that mean I'll watch it. Maybe, when it's a free flick on cable on demand. Maybe.

HALL PASS - This is the flick where the women folk let their men have a free pass to go out and have sex with other women. They're all married, right? Yeah, I think a comedy that glorifies infidelity doesn't really speak to me.

GNOMEO AND JULIET - Yard gnomes doing Shakespeare? Hmmm, I'm gonna say pass. Now if you can get a bunch of ceramic pigs to do HAMlet (Get it? I made a funny!) Then you might have something there.

UNKNOWN - I had to go look this one up. It's the one with Liam Neeson it it. I like Liam Neeson when he's kicking ass and taking names. This looks like it might be one of those flicks. I wish he would do a new Darkman movie. It could be Darkman twenty years later and be called Legacy OF Darkman. I would so watch that. This one? Nope.

JUST GO WITH IT - I like Adam Sandler movies. Most of the time. Click sucked. Still haven't watched Grown Ups and the one with Seth Rogen was kind of lame. This one has that real hot curvy chick from the trailer for this movie. She's pretty. I'd watch her part of the movie. Jennifer Aniston annoys me.

THE KING'S SPEECH - This is the second movie in the list I would watch. What can I say? I'm a sucker for Geoffery Rush.

I AM NUMBER FOUR - Looks like a steaming pile of number two. I actually wrote this entire column so I could make that joke.

JUSTIN BIEBER MOVIE - This blogger refuses to make any comment on this flick. Not gonna do it.

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