Friday, August 17, 2007


Blame Star Wars. After the success of that minor, little film, the space opera genre went berserk. This is one of the More horrifying examples of that particular sub genre. The basic plot is that these Fabio look alikes in silver lame' kidnapped a professor and his lovely assistant. They send a squad of people after the aliens to get the professor back. Our captain really wants the assistant back as he has the hots for her.
When they get to the planet to rescue them the last thing they want is rescue. Seems the professor is ruling the planet with the assistant who is now the empress. (???) Not a lot of explanation is given. We are given dog fights in space with some of the worst animated laser blasts known to mankind. When the crew uses blasters we hear a noise, but don't see anything. There are these funny, day-glo swords that try their damnedest not to look like lightsabers and have metallic clinky noises when they strike anything.
The whole thing is a certifiable mess. Even Antonio Sabato Sr. (No, not his son, that's a completely different guy) can't save this mess. The running time said 77 minutes. It felt like four hours and it just kept dragging on. Perhaps director Al Bradley, really Alfonso Brescia, has discovered a way to slow down time.
All in all it was just no fun and kind of painful to watch. I really doubt I will ever watch this again. Ever!

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