My lovely wife, Martha and I made a conscious decision to watch all eleven Children of the Corn films. That's right, you heard me. ALL ELEVEN!
Ahem.
So, here's how we're going to do this; each film with a small recap and mentions of famous people along the way. After I have finished this immense task I will give you my opinion of best to worst. Ready? This may take a minute.
In 1984 all things were Stephen King. So much so that instead of adapting a novel this time they took a short story form Night Shift and made it a movie. The basic plot is the same as the story; kids listen to a crazy kid who communes with a beast with the clunky moniker of He Who Walks Behind The Rows. We all saw it. It was what it was. Linda Hamilton was it it so we were all good. Peter Horton plays his character as kind of an ass, but it's Peter Horton. He's done that a lot. We knew we were in trouble when they passed on Stephen King's script. What would the author know about making a movie, right? So, it has a very Hollywood feel to it and just an abrupt happy ending.
It falls in that whole, it needed to start somewhere and this was it.
It took nine years before the franchise took it's next step with an actual sequel that occurs days after the incident in the first film. The killer kids are farmed out to folks the next town over and, well you know what is going to happen when you let Corn Children loose in a town full of grown ups. A sub plot of a reporter and his son who is trying to redeem himself seems a little much, but the whole thing works way better than the original film.
Two years later this masterpiece of wild cinema was given to the world. Eli and Joshua are running from their abusive father and Eli has the power of that long ass named beast. He also has a strain of corn that grows anywhere and fast. The end of world hunger or a plot to spread the word of that monster we all know.
The thing that makes this work is the magnificent special effects of Kevin Yagher and Screaming Mad George. Back in the day when the make up artists were more important than who was in the film. Speaking of that Charlize Theron made her debut in this fever dream of a movie.
I'll just tell you that this one will be first on my list.
Even though part 3 had a perfect open ending for a sequel, the people who made this instead. Naomi Watts in an early role comes home to care for her mother Karen Black. It deals more with a legend of dead children, something that is touched on later in the series. Honestly, this one is kind of dull in the whole scheme of things so, lets move along.
You know what cliché the series hadn't done yet? If you say a group of teenagers wander into Corn Children territory then give yourself a gold star. With early performances by Alexis Arquette, Ahmet Zappa and Eva Mendes.
This time the kids follow a man named Luke played by David Carradine (?!?) and the sheriff is none other than Fred Williamson doing his best Fred Williamson impersonation. What? You want more than that? Okay Kane Hodder is the bartender at the local watering hole.
When Allison, the leader of the teenagers finds out her long lost brother is there she has to intervene. Seems like a good idea except for the Corn Children and the fact they tend to be murdery when crossed.
The famous people in the film makes it bearable to watch and 83 minutes is a pretty lean running time to have to sit through.
Now we come to part six of a franchise. It's when you hang everything on a gimmick Friday the 13th brought Jason back to life while Nightmare on Elm Street killed Freddy. (Yeah, we knew that would never take.)
What did Children of the Corn have?
Issac. Played by John Franklin who, having a growth hormone deficiency, never got much taller so it added to the illusion. Even though we all really wanted Malachi back from the original.
So, we had our gimmick and it seems Issac had been in a coma all these years until a girl returns that triggers all sorts of tomfoolery. Toss in Nancy Allen and Stacy Keach and you have a sequel. IS it a good sequel. Meh, the gimmick was clever.
But not that clever.
This is where the sequels start getting odd. The basic plot has a young lady, Jamie, come to check on her grandmother who lives in a weird apartment building. And there are a ton of weird ass kids in there. Our sole famous person would be Michael Ironside playing a priest trying to help.
It was cool seeing corn in an apartment building again, but not much is done with that.
There are like six sets in the entire film and it does do a good job of creating a claustrophobic environment. This is the one that triggered the bad idea in my brain of having a Children of the Corn TV series.
It took ten years to get to what is just a freaky entry in the series. Billy Drago plays a cult leader of the Corn Children. Seems like grown ups aren't so bad now, hmmm? A couple get stranded and ask to use the phone. They getb stuck there and a child is locked up in the shed. Of course by now we all know the kid is some freaky kid and he proves it with what is one of my favorite scenes in the move. No, I'm not telling you. I had to watch eleven of these things so climb aboard. It also has a post credits scene that made me laugh out loud. The lower budget is obvious, but the director makes it work.
.jpg)
Director John Gulager brings us the final sequel, so far. of the series. The next two entries are the reboots. His trilogy of Feast films are a high point in way out cinema. This one, not so much. Ruth is one of the Corn Children and pregnant. She decides to leave, hence the title, and burns the corn fields to hide her getaway, killing many of the children in the process. They stay on the run for thirteen years before she decides it's time to stay in one place.
What a terrible idea.
Marci Miller as Ruth makes this movie. She reminds me of actor Amy Steel from Friday the 13th Part 2. We get Clu Gulager as a crusty old man named, well Crusty.
This movie is weird, but weird in a good way. They have fun doing kills and then rewinding it as Ruth just tries her best not to lose her shit in the world. Thirteen years on the road with a child would make anyone feral, but she was on original Corn Child so, it's worse. Way worse.
I liked this one. Very well done.
Between Revelation and Genesis director Donald P. Borchers tried something no one had ever done before. He followed the story originated by Stephen King to make one of the most brutal entries of the series. Unfortunately, nostalgia clouds many a mortals mind so this movie got slammed by pretty much everyone. The use of children the age that they should be made for a nightmare according to the director, but this thing works really well. It's like watching the short story unfold before your eyes. I can see why people don't like it but, nostalgia is a helluva drug.
