Thursday, January 12, 2017

DOUBLE FEATURE AT THE WALTZ COMPOUND; MONSTROSITY/INTO THE WOODS

Those titles may look familiar to you and you really couldn't be more wrong. I love all the free channels on my ROKU and the lovely Martha Waltz discovered one for me a while ago called GRINDHOUSE GRIT. I do loves me some Grindhouse flicks and the badder the better.

Image result for monstrosity 2007

At first I thought MONSTROSITY might be the Andy Milligan flick, but the 2007 date told me otherwise. Andy had been dead for a while.
In this one we have a carnival freak named Monstrosity who gets free from his master, kills a bunch of people and makes a beeline for a nearby factory where he kills the owner's son and his woman. He cuts her head off and then...nothing.
Ten years pass and someone else has bought he factory and the town legend is that Monstrosity died in a swamp near the factory.
Anyone else buying this? Nope, me neither.
So a group of low life drug dealers and some girls decide to break in, party and have some wild sex. What they don;t know is the man who bought the factory has just discovered millions of dollars in gold and cash, left by the former owner. He needs help getting it out of there so he enlists the drug dealers to help load it up. Each of them will get a cool million.
But, something is killing them. Is it the Monstrosity?
Or is it something worse?
Okay, sure the acting in this thing is dreadful and just one pair of lopsided titties is a little disappointing in the nudity department, but this wasn't that bad. It had a couple of nice twists and turns and the whole concept has been done a million times before.
But, it was a fun little time waster.


This was the only picture on the internet of this movie. Sad.

Then I decided to see something called INTO THE WOODS. It said it was a camping slasher flick and it had a running time of an hour and 18 minutes so it seemed like a safe bet. Some crazy dude ties up his wife and makes his two boys watch. He is sent to prison and the boys go into foster care. It's worth noting that crazy dad is also crazy drug dealer with a sword in the other movie. I had no idea that the films had any common denominator. Lucky I guess.
A group of kids go camping and it doesn't take long before the body count starts to go up. But, who's doing the killing? Have the boys become crazed killers? Are they among the group and no one knows it?
This seems like a lot of questions and the ending is pretty telegraphed.As camper slasher flicks go it ranks down at the bottom. They did use a lot of local music in their movie which is always a good thing, but the nudity is non existent and that is the death kiss of any slasher flick. Guys, if you're going to make a slasher flick you have to make sure at least one of your girlfriends is going to show off something. Otherwise, people like me are going to call you movie out for what it is; amateurish and crap.
I did laugh when I saw all the MySpace urls for the bands. There was even a geocities site. I had no idea that was even a thing anymore.

Monstrosity was pretty good though.

I like to put up trailers for flicks so people can get a taste of the punishment I put myself through. Yeah, neither of these had anything. Even their official sites were taken down. If you have a ROKU the channel is Grindhouse Grit and you can watch it an many others for free.

Free...I still felt like I was overcharged.

Tuesday, January 3, 2017

2017

SO, that year sucked, eh? I managed to release six issues of Divine Exploitation before I realized that a schedule is the last thing my little zine needs. I plan on two issues a year and that should be fine for me.
In other writing news I did write two books;
THOU SHALT DIE inspired by a Linc Polderman drawing. It's my first attempt at a first person, hard boiled crime book. I set a minimum word count of 30K and managed to beat that.
KILLER F@#KING SQUIRRELS managed to get done before the end of the year and just went up for sale at Create Space. It should be easy to find. There are no other books with that title. I checked.
Finally, I have read comic book sites for a long time and they just manage to piss me off for one reason or another. I think the biggest problem in comics sites is that everyone is complaining about stuff.
I am guilty of this as well. I have things that tick me off about the current state of comics. Ask me about Captain America sometime.
But there is also so much great stuff going on. If you told me I would own every issue of Jem and The Holograms I would have called you crazy, but I do. Aquaman is one of my favorite comic series out right now. It's a fun time in the world of comics.
So, here's what's gonna happen here.
I buy my comics every two weeks. I get paid and head for the comic book store. I will then read said comics and review them here.
But here's the catch. I'm reviewing them in the sense of what I like. Not some weird standard review thingie that a lot of the sites seem to embrace. Like it, love it, hate it, I will be honest and upfront with each comic that I buy. I think this is a more honest type of reviewing because I'm not getting any freebies here. I pay for everything I read.
I'll also put up covers of the comics I review just to make sure everyone knows what I'm referring to.
In addition 2017 will see me working on my book concerning the films of The Polonia Brothers. Will it get done in 2017? No idea. Those two make a lot of movies.
I am also going to keep track of every movie I watched in 2017 so look for that list in about 12 months.
So, throw in two print issues of  Divine and maybe another book for NaNoWriMo this year and I think 2017 might be a tad bit busier.
I'm writing this at work and they don't let me use pictures here so, no picture to go with the post.
Maybe I'll add one later.
Probably not.
Gonna be too damned busy!
:)
NOTE: I ended up putting the comic book reviews at the Penguin Comics Blog. It is located at http://penguincomicsnet.blogspot.com  Go read it there

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