Monday, May 31, 2010

The Astounding She Monster (1957)



This is one of those old stand bys from the era of Shock Theater. I can't tell you how many times I have seen this flick, but I can tell you that something always fascinated me about this little film. There are seven people and a dog in this film and two of the actors are in one scene! An interesting study in human nature.
I have been so fascinated with this flick that I thought I might remake it as a micro budget feature even though I hate remakes.
Then last night I watched it again.
The film still works. Sure, it was filmed in one exterior area and one set and yes you can tell it's a set. Robert Clarke tries his best with what he's given, but the plot is pretty thin to begin with. Until you reach the end and discover what this Astounding She Monster was up to. No, I'm not telling you. You either know or you need to watch the movie. It has a running time of 60 minutes. Give up one episode of that Criminal SUV show or whatever it's called. This is better than any of that tripe.
To tempt you I have included a great poster and a trailer for the film.
The Astounding She Monster is one of the best!
As for my remake, I have a better idea;
A sequel. I forced myself to stay up and watch the whole thing past my bedtime and I think I have a way to get a sequel going that might be interesting at least. Of course it could also be crap. Time will tell.

Jess Franco Clips

I am always fascinated with Jess Franco when he speaks. Now it's your turn. Click and enjoy!















Saturday, May 29, 2010

Dennis Hopper is Dead!

I have always liked Dennis Hopper. If he's in a film I will go out of my way to watch it. The Last Days OF Frankie The Fly is one of my favorite movies of his. OF course I could go on and on about his films and what they meant to me, but in the end he's gone, it sucks and now we have to go through the rest of our lives without him.
What a drag, man.

Friday, May 28, 2010

THE ALIEN FACTOR (1977) VS. NIGHTBEAST (1982)



Okay, I admit to being a huge fan of Don Dohler flicks. My favorite would have to be FIEND (1980). The unique thing about these two films both written and directed by Dohler is that they are the same movie. Sort of.
THE ALIEN FACTOR deals with a spaceship that crashes on its way back to it's home planet with some zoological specimens onboard. Three of them and they are vicious. The small town that they land near is screwed from the get go.
NIGHTBEAST deals with an alien crashing here and laying waste to the local populace. Why? My guess is he was just being a dick.
In THE ALIEN FACTOR we get this mysterious guy who helps the townspeople out. In NIGHTBEAST the townsfolk are on their own.
Of the two productions NIGHTBEAST seems the more professional, polished film.
That's why THE ALIEN FACTOR is the better flick. See, we get three monsters all with cool designs. There are a lot of people in this flick and you can tell they were all working their asses off to get the flick done. Everything about this movie screams amateur, but you can see the love on every frame. Why Dohler thought it was necessary to remake this flick is beyond me. The monster from NIGHTBEAST looks as if it was carved from chocolate and it just came across as lame. We knew why the other monsters were attacking in THE ALIEN FACTOR, they were just beasts. The asshole monster in NIGHTBEAST has a gun and is purposely disintegrating the townsfolk.
A lot of the movies' plot and actors are identical. With NIGHTBEAST Dohler thought it was necessary to adult the film with two different naked women and the sheriff unfortunately getting naked as well. Not a good thing. There is profanity and some of the shoot outs just seem to go on forever.
THE ALIEN FACTOR is fun, exciting and it doesn't matter who's in the room because this is a pretty family friendly monster flick. A flashback to the good old days.
It is always a pleasure to see Dick Dyszel in a flick and he's in both of these as the same character and gets killed both times. The lovely Eleanor Herman is also in both and I think she shows her assets, both of them, to better effect in NIGHTBEAST, but even those aren't enough to make this a better flick.
In the end THE ALIEN FACTOR has that level of cheesy fun that plays well anytime. Filled with multiple monsters and a bizarre plot that has been copied a myriad of times, THE ALIEN FACTOR wins this battle.





Tuesday, May 25, 2010

ICE FROM THE SUN (1999)



I have known about this flick for some time and recently decided to watch the beast. Not bad, eleven years after it came out. I wish it had been sooner.
Let's run down the flick, shall we?
It seems there was this sorcerer who decided to manufacture his own alternate reality. He used ice from the sun, hence the title, to encase his reality in six layers of unbreakable ice. This will keep him safe from the servants of Heaven and Hell, both of who want to get in there and wipe him from existence. The sorcerer has an apprentice and they extract six people at random times to torture and kill in their own reality. The bonus, for them, is that the souls of their victims are unable to leave that plane of reality so they can make them do their bidding in torturing future victims.
Anyway, this last round of victims something went wrong. The head guy decided to torment his apprentice by making one of the new victims his apprentice. The new guy was getting ready to kill the last victim when the original apprentice stepped in and blew him away allowing the victim to escape the realm.
Because of that the angels and demons are able to stop a woman who has committed suicide and send her to the alternate plane to defeat the apprentice who has slain his master.
at the same time a new batch of victims has arrived and is getting ready to be tortured.
Did you get all of that? Can you believe that someone even wrote that down let alone decided to make a Super 8mm film of it?
Sounds pretty heavy, doesn't it. Well, kind of, but it's Eric Stanze so he knows how to do what he's doing.
My favorite part of the whole thing is that it was shot on Super 8mm. It gives it such a great film look that so many new films lack. The storyline is interesting as you watch these new victims try in vain to survive. Stanze is also very good at the gore effects so true gore fans will not be disappointed.
And yes there's nudity. But this time it's different. The nudity in every instance is an integral part of the story. It wouldn't work in a clothed situation. I applaud Mr. Stanze for that one.
And then there's the number one reason to watch this flick. Sure, it might have bizarre imagery and original ideas for a horror film, but the soundtrack is amazing. Not the music that's played, but the dense layer of sound that permeates every frame of this film. And at two hours long you might think that this is a little long, but every frame is really essential to what he's trying to do here.
Watch it, you won't be sorry. I promise.
And why isn't Eric Stanze more famous by now?

Monday, May 17, 2010

Motor City Comic Con 2010: The Adventure!



So, we decided to go to the Motor City Comic Con like we do every year. Martha and I volunteer at the convention so we get in for free. This year we decided to bring all five kids.



Yeah, I know, right? What were we thinking?
Anyway, the trip there went without a hitch. The kids were good and we even got there early enough to enjoy a little convention time with the kids before we went on our appointed duties.



This year we spent our time guarding doors and the freebie table. Dull, work, but it's what Martha likes to do the most so, hurray!
Then things got weird.



First Martha is working the back entrance and this young punk tried to get past her. She gently touched his shoulder to inform him that he would need a pass and he went beserk! Apparently, it was Daniel Logan and he played a young Boba Fett in Attack Of The Clones.



While this was going on Seann, my oldest, was getting seriously flirted with by some cyber girl who thought he was cute. All looked well for seann, until...
I was sitting at the back entrance where it was exit only. If you went out that door you weren't getting back in. Simple. Yeah, then this brown man tried to leave the door propped open so he could smoke.



Well, that wasn't happening on my shift! Who did this gy think he was anyway? I told him he would have to spare all of our lungs and he would need to walk to the only back entrance after he enjoyed his cancer.
Yeah, halfway through the berating of the guest I realized that I was scolding Todd Bridges.
Um, eep!



In the end, Todd Bridges didn't try to shank me, Martha was pulled away from Baby Fett before she could do severe harm to him and Seann's Cyber Girl?
Yeah, Todd Bridges cock blocked him for the rest of our time there.
Another magnificent, fun time had by The Waltz Clan.
My kids finally got to meet The Ghoul and he was their favorite part of the show.
And we spotted Captain ReRe again. He's the one dressed like the Joker.

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Happy Birthday Unca Jess!



I am referring to the one and only Jess Franco himself. Born today in 1930 this put the wizard of weird cinema at the 80 year old mark. I hope I live as long. No chance of making as many movies as I have only made none so far.
Here's to many more, sir. We here at Divine Exploitation wish you all the best.

Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Bitch Slap (2009)



when I first got this I promised my sensei Chris that I would watch it with him. Yeah, he took too long so, I carted it out for everyone at The Waltz Compound to behold.
It was magnificent.
The basic concept is three hot girls digging for something in the desert. Along the way they fight, throw water on each other and have adventures in the desert. The plot line is pretty simple and easy to follow.



Because plot is the last thing we care about. We care about Trixie, Hel and Camaro. Trixie is the stacked, black haired beauty with eyes that will pierce your very soul and, quite possibly, your groin. Hel is the fire haired vixen with more secrets than you can shake a stick at. Camaro? Camro is bug nuts fucking crazy. Period. And, no, no pun with the period.



This flick has so many quotable lines that it's ridiculous. I now love the word 'cooterlicious' because of this flick.
The fight scenes are in slow motion with every jiggle enhanced so well that it is amazing.



Lots of blood and guns and fire and explosions to keep people interested who do not find three mega attractive women duking it out in the desert attractive.
And Bitch Slap knows what it's roots are. You can feel the perverted spirit of Russ Meyer in every frame. Russ isn't spinning in his grave, but he might be sporting some wood.



And if all this wasn't enough, Bitch Slap manages to take the concept of the flashback, turn it on its ear and make it its own in ways I did not think was possible. Screw Tarantino, Bitch Slap is where it's at.
So, drool over the pics, goggle at the trailer and then go watch this flick a buncha times.



You can thank me later for such a rip roaring good time.
And be sure to check out the credits. In a word, hilarious.
I'm out.

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